


Needed in Twos

by RoanOaks, SilverNovaHeals



Series: Princess Bride [4]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-03-02 01:00:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 47
Words: 42,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13307055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoanOaks/pseuds/RoanOaks, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverNovaHeals/pseuds/SilverNovaHeals
Summary: After Peter nurses Wade back to health, they form a weird but true friendship.Spidey begins helping Deadpool become a hero.Unfortunately, Peter and Spider-Man are the same person and they've fallen. Hard.Wade's a little confused but he's totally falling just as hard.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeey here's the sequel! This takes place about a year after the original.
> 
> Some relevant information I felt I should tell you:
> 
> Peter and Wade are still just friends tbh and Wade visits Peter occaionally/a lot/it varies, okay?
> 
> Spider-Man and Deadpool have still only ever met once.
> 
> The first two chaps won't have them meeting at all, just because I felt like you should take a glimpse of their lives as they are right now.
> 
> Chapters WILL BE longer than the last book, so updates may come a little later.
> 
> MOST IMPORTANTLY: the theme is a little different. The last book focused on a kinda happy but sad kinda vibe or something because it was the Peter and Wade part. This sequel focuses more on Spider-Man and Deadpool, which, while being the same people, have a darker theme. In short, this sequel is just gonna be a little (lot) darker than the first fic.

Spider-Man is currently fighting a horde of oncoming baddies who all have guns. He doesn't have guns. He has cool spider drones and fast reflexes and Web shooters and his freaking spidey sense, but he doesn't have guns. Usuallly, he doesn't ever think he needs them but today - today is a little different.

He turns rather violently to the left, which causes his whole body to jerk. It doesn't bother him, he's used to it, but the bullet which he had just dodged strikes through the Web he's swinging on, and every hair on his body, which is already on end, spikes back up again. Goosebumps and tingling sensation racking through him as the air suddenly goes from gliding to passing by him very fast.

Spider-Man tumbles to the ground, a heap of flailing limbs and small but heavily censored shouts. It's very hard to censor himself, but he's Spider-Man, so he has to. Spider-Man jumps back up in time for spidey sense to practically scream at him, and he leans back rather far in a way that clearly shows how flexible he is. The bullet that was meant for him embeds itself into a wall.

He all but screams in pain as his spidey sense screams again and he doesn't have enough time to dodge. Bullet embedding itself into the side of his shoulder. Spider-Man bites back the urge to scream every vile word he's ever learned in favor of extending his good arm and shooting a Web at the ceiling, flinging himself up, dodging more bullets as he tries to find witty responses.

It is taking everything in his power not to cry. He turns rather sharply, and, more importantly, unexpectedly. His foot colliding with the side of a goon's head in a roundhouse kick. He flips over, webbing a few of them and then kicked one. His spider sense all but forces him to do a particularly flexible move, and he webs the last one. He drops, landing on his feet and huffing out puffs of breath. His phone rings, and he ignores it, clutching his shoulder. He thinks he should have a higher pain tolerance, given how often he's been shot, maimed, harmed, or otherwise hurt, but noooooo. Couldn't have that, could we?

Blood seeps into his fingers and his glove and drips down his arm in a glorified and bright red mess. His eyes involuntarily cross. He probably shouldn't have done this with only five hours worth of sleep within the last two days, but he had to. He's sure Wade will be worried sick when he comes to visit Peter tomorow and sees another bullet wound on him. He probably thinks Peter is in a gang or something. The excuse of being mugged and jumped and attacked had lost it's use fast, but he never pried so Spider-Man figured he was fine.

Spider-Man grits his teeth and swings to a nearby ally way, leaning on the wall. He takes in a sharp breath and changes quickly, biting his lip til it bleeds. Adrenaline induced endorphins slowly draining out of him as he makes his way home. His phone rings again and he answers, closing the door to his apartment behind him.

"Kid, you okay? You didn't answer before," comes Tony Stark's voice. Peter grabs his first aid kit, knocking down some things on his way.

"Yeah, yeah, fi-" Peter takes a sharp inhale as he tears his shirt sleeve off to find a mangled mess of flesh. What had that bullet done to him? He let's out a small hiss. "Fuck."

"What's up?" Tony's voice filters in, heavy with concern.

"Was shot-" Peter finds tweezers so he can dig the bullet out. "Hurts like a bitch,"

"What?" Tony asks, though it's more of a shout. Peter finds something to stick in his mouth.

"I gotta call you back," Peter's voice is muffled. He swears he sees stars as he tries to shift into a better position.

"Oh hell no, Underoos. Where are you? JARVIS trace the call. Pete? Kid? Web-Head?" Tony's voice is quick and ever more concerned.

"I'm fine, Tony! But I have to dig this fucking bullet out of me and dress it and stitch it and wrap it and I can't talk to you while I do it so I have to call you the fuck back!" Peter all but yells. He is in immense pain, and he doesn't have time to be gentle. He's irritated and bleeding and god fucking dammit this hurt.

"No, no-" Peter hangs up. He's going to regret that, but he doesn't have time. He cannot bleed out- it's a fucking shoulder wound and he is not letting himself get done in for a fucking shoulder wound.

He takes care of the bullet wound, and a knock on his door announces to him that someone's there. Peter hastily tries to throw shit over the bloody mess and ultimately fails. He sighs to himself as he stands up.

"Coming!" He calls out, opening the door. He finds the sight of a certain ex-assassin in skin tight black leather. Peter groans. "Tony sent you?"

Natasha nods in response, walking in. She raises an eyebrow at the bloody mess. Peter shrugs, hunger gnawing at him. He's pretty sure Wade is visiting tomorow, so he's sure he can handle it for now. Peter plops down and moves stuff outta the way, there's enough room for another person to sit and not be soaked in blood. He gestures towards the spot and Nat takes a seat. Peter turns on Princess Bride.

"Hydra," Peter speaks up as the movie starts, "Had a fuck-ton of goons with guns. I swear, my entire body is going to look like an eggplant when the bruises fully form."

"You treated the wounds?" Nat asks in response.

"Yeah, I think I may have to stay home tomorow, could you feed the spiders?"

"Sure."

"Thanks! You're a life saver."

"I know." At this, Nat gives Peter an amused smirk. Peter smiles back, and they continue watching the movie.

Peter's eyes drift close before he even realizes it.

~

Peter's eyes snap open. He sits up, shaking his head and yawning. He's pretty sure he actually got a decent amount of sleep, too. He looks over at the kitchen on instinct, because Wade had said he'd visit today, and the merc had the unnerving habit of watching him sleep. Which, admittedly, isn't all too often since Peter doesn't sleep much, but it still stands.

He instead sees a fruit basket on his counter with a note on it. It depicts a crudely drawn picture of Deadpool and Peter with crayon and the words 'Sry! Tomorrow I promise!'. Peter rolled his eyes, happy for the large amount of sustenance. His body screamed with hunger after exerting itself to heal. Wade also put a blanket over him. Or Nat, he's not entirely sure which.

He takes an apple and wanders over to the bathroom sink. Checking himself on the mirror he found that his earlier prediction to Nat was correct. His body was literally every shade of purple to exist, black and blue bruises covering his body in an awful mess. Wade might actually flip out this time. If he hadn't already.

Wade had seen him a whole manner of injured and bleeding, but he doesn't think Wade's ever seen Peter this beaten up. Peter won't need stitches, he's sure. But he's got two black eyes, a bruise on the corner of his mouth, and hand shaped ones on his neck and a whole bunch all over his arm and legs and torso. Every part of him is littered in bruises. Plus the bullet wound in his shoulder, which looked a little better all scabbed up.

He sighs, and decides he's going to drown his sorrows and pain in a sea of ice cream that Wade almost certainly bought and stored in his shitty fridge. And Princess Bride. Oh, a lot of Princess Bride. Maybe even Legally Blonde, but most definitely hours upon hours of Princess Bride. He was perhaps a little bit obsessed. Just a little bit.

Peter gets up, noticing that the blood is gone. He's going to have to thank Nat or Wade. Peter pulls the blankets off of him with a longing sigh as he drags himself to his shitty little fridge. He opens the door, wincing at the bursts of color. They clash with everything else, making his eyes scatter. He hisses, like a spider. Pulling a tub of ice cream out and closing the freezer. He roots around his drawers for a spoon. He finds a spork, decides it's good enough.

Holding the spork and tub with one arm, he grabs the fruit basket and plops himself down on his couch. Pulling the ice cream to his stomach and turning on Princess Bride. Peter doesn't move much for the rest of the day.

~

Spider-Man is immensely irritated at himself. His shoulder - the bad one - hits a wall. He let's out a low hiss of pain, getting back on one foot. He'd managed to guilt himself into coming on on patrol. As expected, it was going awfully. He's curse, but he's Spider-Man. Small children idolize him. He can't curse.

He hops on one foot, regaining balanced as he squares his shoulders and spreads his feet apart. He rolls out the kinks in his neck. Takes a deep breath. Waits. Waits a little longer.

Jolt. Goosebumps and shocks on every part of his body. His hairs stand on end, but not fully. He spins out of the way, using his good arm to Web up the villain. Apparently, normal thugs chose today to clock out. Now he has to deal with this villain. He doesn't even remember his name, to be honest.

Spider-Man sighs, calling the police. He explains what's happened as per usual. The 911 operater grumbles something about a superhero hotline. Spider-Man informs her that it's a great idea and she should totally try and make it real. The operator agrees.

Spider-Man webs to an alley and changes before heading home. He's got work tomorrow. Peter groans at the thought. Why. Responsibilities and adulthood please, please go away. It'd be so kind of them to temporarily disappear.

~

Peter sighed. He didn't sleep. Figures. Most of his bullet wound is healed. Still bruises everywhere. Peter gets up, doing his usual morning routine. Wade'll probably come over while he's at work. Normal, really. He leaves Wade a note demanding pancakes.

Peter rides his bike to Stark Tower. He parks his bike and heads up to the elevator. He greets JARVIS. He waits for the elevator to take him where he needs to be taken. The elevator dings, announcing his arrival.

"Hello, Peter," Bruce greets distracted from his spot at one of the microscopes.

"Hey Bruce," Peter greets in return, moving over to his station. He takes some of the spiders out. Mama Spider is already on Tony's head. Peter yawns, tired. He pulls out the sentient slime samples.

He and Tony are working on a children's toy based on the sentient slimes. It'll be almost like a pet except it's moldable. You don't need to feed it and spider venom incapacitates it. The mess is easily cleaned.

Peter is reminded of the symbiotes whenever he sees it, though it doesn't particularly disturb him unless the slimes do certain things. Once, one of the slime he was playing with wrapped around his hand like a glove and it was all he could not to immediately scream in terror.

Peter finishes checking the slime and running the tests before he turns to make some new webs. He'said trying to make one that conducts electricity, and also one that burns. His newest villains are getting steadily smarter and if he isn't going to use guns then he needs better weapons. Nothing lethal, but something that damages differently.

He gad thought are out using steadily the sentient slime in his webbing to make it sentient-ish. He'd decided against it. It was to similar to the symbiotes. The webbing is going well enough. Tony made this new AI named SILK for him. Peter renamed it Karen.

Tony made it right after the bomb. He'd holed himself up in his workshop after it, and only came out after coaxing from almost everyone he knew. Everyone gave him space, of course. Same with Peter. It's been a year, since then. They've recovered.

Peter tests the electricity. The webbing explodes in a shower of sparks that do nothing but sting. He refused to make it anywhere near lethal. Peter sighs, his hair is frizzed. Combined from the small tingle of spidey sense and fresh zaps. Peter grumbles incoherently to himself aloud, assessing what he's done and what he's going to do. It's a habit of his. Bruce and Tony do it at as well, though significantly less.

"Try less rubber," Tony calls. Peter grunts in agreement, adjusting certain things.

"Water," Bruce chips in. No one else would understand his contribution - Peter and Tony get it perfectly. Peter grunts again in agreement. Tony makes an agreeing sound.

Peter walks his bike home with new electric webs and some modified Web shooters shoved in his duffel bag. Along with some more spider silk cloths and venom samples. He's thinking about making Spider Venom Webs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments feed my soul.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so POV switches are not regularly gonna be every other chapter but these first two chapters just need a serperate Peter's Life and Wade's Life before they Converge Again.  
> ALSO The Gore Is Immense In this Chap.
> 
> Like. There's a torture scene, and mentions of a torture scene. You guys. Its not like, suuuuuuper graphic, but ya know, its a torture scene.
> 
> Beta read by SilverNovaHeals

_Deadpool sits up and stares down at the man, who's currently twitching and sobbing. Clawing at something as he begs to be spared. Deadpool won't spare him, ofcourse. The man was a fucking child pornographor and there was no way in hell he was gonna let the man live._

_Deadpool decides he should probably kill the fucker, so he goes about choosing which weapon to do it with. He's probably saying something - he tunes into reality for a second to catch the last of what he's saying._

_"But, like, even though chimichangas are kinda good, I only say I like them because I like saying the word..." Deadpool goes back to deciding which weapon._

**_[Guuuuuun.]_ **

**[Gun!]**

~~Gun.~~

_Deadpool takes the gun, and pushes the barrel so it's about an inch away from a very specific spot on the man's head. The man screams and begs, begs, begs. Leaking more blood from the missing legs and fingers he's sporting. He's crying and blubbering and Deadpool's ready to pull the trigger, but his memories bash him in._

Peter, looking somewhat serious but with the hint of a smile in his eyes.

"Listen, Wade, I know you kill people, remember? And I don't like it, but I get where you're coming from," Peter runs a hand through his hair, "I won't bring it up, won't ask you to stop even though I want to. But that'll only work if you do the same. I don't accept it, but I also don't not accept it. I want to remain as neutral on the subject as I can, and that means that you can't brag about it."

_Wade makes the unconscious decision to lower the gun and looks at it in frustration. He's supposed to kill the fucker. He takes the shot quickly, because Peter's face is already swimming into view. He shakes his head, as if to dislodge the image and kicks the body to the ground, placing a small card in its mouth and leaving. He told Peter he'd be coming over today._

_Calling up Dopinder, he gets a three hour ride back to Peter's neighborhood - a shitty five blocks of the most filthy and disgusting people within a three mile radius. Seriously how the fuck does Peter live here? He needs to get Peter a new place. He's got enough money, it wouldn't be a problem._

_He makes his way to the grocery store. It's probably the only clean building within a three block radius of the previously mentioned five blocks Peter lives in. He buys some fruit. And ice cream. And genuine red meat. And some oil, because Peter had been running low last time he checked. He doesn't buy too much, Peter had gotten upset with him last time._

"I don't like being completely dependent on one person," He'd said, clenching and unclenching his fists by his sides as he looked away. Understanding and frustration fighting for control in his eyes. "Thank you, really, for getting me all this stuff but please- please let me take care of me, too."

_Not the Peter was ever any good at taking care of himself but Wade had always tried to respect Peter's boundaries whenever Peter told him them. He didn't want to lose Peter, who might be the only good fucking thing in his life. Excluding his sorta friends._

_Wade gets a basket too, because where else was he gonna put the fucking fruit? On the counter or fridge? He's not a fucking heathen. He pays in cash, tells the cashier to keep whatever amount of change he'd had. He took a small bit of satisfaction at the way the cashier's face had absolutely lit up in happiness and surprise._

_Wade walks back to Peter's apartment building, which is a shabby block. It's literally just a concrete block with windows in it. He opens the never locked front door and makes his way to Peter's apartment door. He's talking about something, he's sure._

_He does that sometimes. A lot, actually, just break into rambles or arguments with the boxes and not notice. He's so used to speaking he forgets that he's speaking and it's always a confusing, disorienting mess when someone responds and he has to take a full minutes to rember what he was saying. Most people snap at him when he takes too long, Peter's so different. He just waits quietly and then smiles his smile and keeps talking._

_He lowers his voice as he walks in, Peter's asleep on the couch. Blanket laid over him, the room smelling faintly of cleaning chemicals. His shoulder is bandaged - Jesus fuck, was that another bullet wound? What the fuck does Peter do? Is he in a gang? He better not be - and bruises forming on his face and what Wade could see of his neck._

_Blood curdling as he realized the bruises around his neck were handshaped. The bruises on his face were clearly from punches. His skin looked a little pale and his hair matted. He wanted very much to break something, preferably whoever hurt Peter._

_Instead he places the fruit basket down on the counter, and stocks up Peter's fridge and cabinet. He hops up on the counter, ready to watch Peter. His mind filling with a peaceful and blissfully quiet buzz it only ever gets around Peter._

_His phone rings. He curses as quietly as he can manage in his surprised state and fumbles to answer it. He glances at Peter, but he's still dead asleep._

_"Hey fucker, got a job. Should only take you an hour since you're in the neighborhood," Comes Weasal's simoltaneously deadpanned but energetic voice._

_"Fucking text me the god damn details you cunt sucker," Wade replies, mood dampened. He still remembers to whisper, though. He's angry now, and the peaceful buzzing dissappear and replaces itself with its usual mad scramble._

_"Geez, sorry. What the fuck were you doing, visiting your mysterious and totally real friend, Peter?"_

_"Obvi-fucking-ously." Wade hangs up the phone, before Weasel can comment and receives a text. He pulls out some paper and the crayons he hid in Peter's apartment to leave Peter a note before leaving the shabby place. (He gleefully remembers that how he got in and out was because Peter gave him a key. A detail he and the Author painfully forgot to notice when he entered the apartment.)_

_When Wade had left first, it had been simple enough. He was fully healed and Peter had left him clothes and a card with his number on it and that miracle working lotion. Peter had told him he didn't want him to leave and Wade had actually been in enough of a shocked and righted frame of mind to note that the various things were so that Wade could leave if he wanted to, and not necessarily because Peter wanted him to._

_But he'd gotten the clothes on and left a note before leaving. He'd glared at the neighborhood, and had basically been ignored. Perks to Peter for making him a mask. There was even a little note on it saying he knew Wade might be uncomfortable without it._

_All of his clothes were white. He didn't know why, but it seemed that was the only color cloth Peter possessed. At the time, Wade had been irritated by the color, but now he knows Peter has a sensory disorder and makes his own clothes with a specific cloth he makes. He dyes them, usually, but he hadn't had time with Wade's clothes._

_Wade had even added Peter's number to the new phone he bought, but had already told himself he'd never use it. And he really didn't, for about a week. Everything below his chest was gone and he only had one arm left and it hurt, really badly and all he could think was how he didn't want to wake up alone again. Something he'd never thought before because he never really realized was something that could happen._

_So he'd grabbed his phone and dialed Peter and low and behold he was only a few blocks away (courtesy to Peter living in his shit neighborhood, this happened often.) And Peter had come with his soothing words and calm voice and had taken him to his home and let Wade regenerate and get blood all over his couch. Then he'd even helped Wade take a bath and had cleaned the blood from the couch and let Wade sleep on it. All the while saying nice and calm things and reassuring Wade that it was fine and okay._

_After that, Wade hadn't even thought about going to Peter's whenever he needed to just breathe. Or after any mission nearby. Or whenever he wanted to kill himself, a state Peter once found him in. He can remember clearly what had happened._

"Wade," Peter had stated after the first time he'd seen it, "Wade," he had repeated, voice desperate and thick and incomprehensibly sad. Sniffling and wiping his eyes from tears that had formed absentmindedly. "Wade, I don't ever want to see that again. Wade, please, I care about you. Just- just call me. Please, I'll talk, I'll help. Please." And he kept repeating Wade's name like it was going to dissapear. Like it was a teddy bear he was clutching to his chest. "Wade," he kept saying in that sad, desperate voice. And Wade had decided, then, that he would never make Peter that sad again.

_Wade finds the guy quickly enough, wearing some cheap suit made to look expensive. He had been entering into a warehouse, and Wade had followed. Apparently, the guy had been stealing money from fundraisers and charity centers to fund his own, private zoo where he likely mistreated his animals. Some animal activist wanted him dead, and was willing to pay for it._

_Wade had considered giving him a painless death until he'd entered the warehouse and found a bunch of abused, suffering, starved, shaking animals in cages. Then he'd just stopped all pretense of stealth and grabbed the guy._

_He'd started like he usually did, casual conversation like tone. Manic cheer as he explained how fucking wrong the man was, followed by cutting off his fingers or toes. After that, he tended to get creative. His first move, was to saw of the man's leg. But he didn't want the man to die just yet, so he made sure he wouldn't bleed out, before giving said leg to the starved animals. They tore into the leg, and the man listened in horror to the sound of things eating his amputated limb._

_Next, he just started carving little names into the man's skin. Each of his animals names. Whether just what they were or what was on their disgusting electric collars. Which he'd actually taken of one and slipped around the man's neck. He'd also cut the guys dick off and fed it to some other animals._

_The guy had screamed and begged and pleaded like most did. He'd said over and over to not kill him and that he'd better and to please, please stop. Wade didn't listen till he decided he would kill the man._

_But as he raised the gun to the man's temples, Peter floated into his mind._

"What I want?" Peter's voice was hard, cold. Wade's fault, he'd provoked it. Telling Peter what he just had. "What I want is for you to stop killing people Wade! I want to stop being worried out of my mind about whether or not the blood on you is yours or someone elses! I want to be able to stopstaying up at night and wondering if this was it. That stoptopomeone had passed your healing factor and you were dead and you wouldn't come back! I want to-" Peter's eyes filled with tears. "Wade, I want you to be better. Because I know you can. I want you to be better. I know you can be better." He smiles, sadly, wiping away a tear. "Wade, you could be a hero."

_Wade stops. Lowering his gun, contemplating it. He looks at the man, and he decides, then. He'd make Peter happy. Peter was his friend and if Peter believed it, he would to._

_"You're fucking lucky you deep fried piece of dog shit. You are so, so lucky."_

_"Th-thank you," the man gasped. Wade felt his stomach curl in disgust before he hit the man's head with the butt of his gun. He found the man's phone and called the police before leaving._

**_[You're gonna fail.]_ **

**[You, a hero? Please. Peter's going to be disappointed.]**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, pleassseeeeeee I need them!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sighs* I have finals so this may be my only update this week. Sorry. Also this is v. dialogue heavy.
> 
> More relevant information I forgot to add on chap one:
> 
> So there is a whole thing going on w/ MJ and Peter right now, (not a relationship, just an unresolved issue that's slowly eating Peter alive metaphorically.) And that will be addressed in the fic.
> 
> Peter and Wade are legitimately just friends rn. Really. At least, they think so. There's probably SOMETHING blooming as we speak.
> 
> Weasel and Wade's other friends know Peter exist but doubt he's real. SHIELD doesn't know, yet.
> 
> Mama Spider and the Black Widow are now just kind of permanently attached to Tony and Nat. It's cute. Peter's even teaching them (sorta?) How to speak Spider.
> 
> I don't write smut.
> 
> Wade has yet to meet Aunt May. Weasel and friends have obviously not Peter.
> 
> More things to add
> 
> IMPORTANT TO A DEGREE: I'm willing to write little one shots about the past year if u wanna gimme a request/scenario.
> 
> betaed by SilverNovaHeals 06/02/18

Peter opens his door, dropping his duffel bag and toeing off his shoes. He can literally smell Wade, so he doesn't look up. He pulls off his hat, chucking into some unknown corner.

"Gimme a plate," Peter demands, flopping onto his couch. The smell of Wade's pancakes causing his stomach to growl almost predatorially.

"Aw, is Petey Sweetey tired?" Wade cooes, but does get a plate. He drowns it in butter, syrup (the good Canadian shit, obvi.), and whipped cream. He puts it down on Peter's coffee table, along with some forks and copious amounts of napkins.

"Work is haaaard," Peter whines, even though it really isn't and it's actually his dream come true and he's just in a strange bad mood that'll pass after he takes a bit of Wade's heavenly pancakes. He does this, and his mood melts away as he moans. They are sooooo good.

"Do you like 'em?" Wade asks, but he knows the answer. He plops down next to Peter, removing his mask and gloves. Throwing his feet on the table and reclining.

"Feet off the table," Peter grumbles out of habit, before continuing once Wade had removed his feet from the table. "And yes. Yes I do very much love this."

"That's good! Only the best of the best for the bestest of..." Wade trails off, not sure what his point was.

"Better, petter, Peter Peas?" Peter finishes in a question. Although it's literally what Wade says everytime so its not really a question. Though the fact that Wade didn't finish it worries him, since Wade loves saying it. He decides Wade will talk when he wants. "You should open a restaurant."

"Whaaaat? No! My food isn't that good!" Wade says doubtfully. Peter levels him with a serious look, even putting down the plate.

"Wade," Peter states, his voice very, very serious. "Wade, your food is literally better than my Aunt's. Wade, Wade, your food is better then the shit I eat at Tony's, and he has a fucking five star chef employed at all times in the cafeteria."

Wade beams. "Well thank you, Baby Boy! Maybe I will start a restaurant! Where should we make it? In the crowdy, rowdy, city or the god-fuckin good-graces country side?" He asks, and Peter raises an eyebrow, shoving food into his mouth.

"We?" He asks, after he finishes chewing and swallowing because, uh, manners.

"Duh," Wade replies, "How can I have a restaurant without my taste tester and awesome Petey Sweetey?"

"Wow, is that all I am to you?" Peter asks with mock offense.

"'Course not, Baby Boy, you're also my eye candy because hot fuckity damn, that ass!" Wade shoves his own forkful of food into his mouth, doing that thing where he looks up and mentally debares/argues/speaks to the boxes without physically speaking. Peter grins, already laughing before he stuffs more food into his mouth.

They eat in silence for all all of ten seconds before Peter responds. "City. We should totally have it in the city."

Wade just grins in response. They finish their food and Peter rubs absent-mindedly at his various bruises and wounds. Wade watches and there's a rare silence, before Wade does that thing where he swallows very quietly and takes a breath and clenches his fist three times before relaxing that way he always does when he wants to tell Peter something. (Peter is getting freakishly good at reading Wade's body language.(Wade's gething freakishly good at reading Peter's too)).

"Hey, Petey?" Wade's voice was a little higher than normal. It's important, then, and Wade wants Peter not to be mad. Peter smiles reassuringly.

"Yes?" He responds, making sure he looks relaxed. If he's tense, Wade will bolt. (Again, Peter is freakishly good at body language now.)

"Can I be a hero?" Wade sounds childish and fuck, he wasn't afraid Peter would be mad. He wanted approval. Of course! Wade wasn't looking away, thats what he dif when he thought Peter would be mad at him. Peter stores that in his box of Wade facts before responding, calmly. Not excited, yet.

"Of course," he smiles warmly. Wade lights up - a little. Okay, now that he's got that out he's going to say something-

"I got a job to kill someone," Wade begins. Peter holds off commentary. "I didn't kill him, though. I called the police. I mean, I may have thrown in some medium-core torture, but that was before I wanted to be a hero. And then when I did I had already not tortured him so I just didn't kill him and I guess that's kinda like ordering a taco and then taking a bite and realizing the fucking tomatoes are missing. Because like, now you've taken a bite and you can't bring it back but you want to and-"

"Wade, that's still a good start!" Peter replies. Smiling kindly, though inwardly he's a little scarred. But Wade still tried, so it fades pretty quickly.

"Really?" Wade replies, and Peter nods. Wade beams, and Peter smiles.

There's a small silence, before Peter speaks up. Hesitant, because fuck, he may regret this. Except, it's Wade, so at least it'll be worth it.

"I know Spider-Man. He'll help, if you're okay with that," Peter states. Wade's eyes go comically wide.

"You know Spider-Man? And you never fucking told me?" Wade looks actually offended. Peter frowns.

"Well, yeah, I know him but he's not, like, my friend or anything," Peter responds. Wade screeches. Actually screeches. Like a fucking bird. Peter wines at the shrill sound, but Wade pays no heed to it.

"Peter! I feel so betrayed! It's Spider-Man! He's the hero of heroes! He's the web-slinging wonder of fucking New York! He's the best of the best into he superheroes! He's got an ass that might even be better than yours! Peter! What the fuck?" Wade seems so genuinely scandalized and offended Peter actually feels a little betrayed because Wade likes him... more than him? Peter sighs instead, patiently waiting for Wade to finish his ramble. It's mostly just a very long string of praise in his alter ego's name, filled with mild cursing because it was Wade.

"Wade," Peter flicks his nose lightly, causing Wade to blink and rub at it. Good, Wade's paying attention. "Do you want him to help?"

Wade stays quiet, unresponsive for a few seconds. Once, this had scared Peter. What if he broke Wade? Now he knows it's just what Wade does when he needs to process things, and he usually doesn't do it.

"You'll help, too?" Wade asks a little tentatively. Peter frowns. (Wade finds it adorable and says so, but Wade doesn't actually have a filter so it kind of just remains background noise.).

"Of course. You're my friend, and I'd be a shitty friend not to help you through this." Peter smiles, and Wade grins back.

"Then I'm a-oh-fuckin'-Kay with it!" Wade declares he takes a moment to proccess Wade's answer before he smiles even wider back.

"Alright, I'll text him." Peter responds, and he goes on his phone. He's actually texting Aunt May to make sure their Sunday dinner date is still on in three days. He waits for Aunt May to respond before turning to Wade. "He says he'll totally help, and to meet him on the rooftop of that one pizza place that's like, next to the florist shop? Mario and Rey's Pizza? At like, midnight-ish?"

"Oh, I know that place!" Wade responds, beaming, before jumping up. "Fuck yeah!"

He promptly decides to bake Peter a cake and cook him the most delicious meal on the planet before leaving so he can brag to Weasel. Peter checks the time, he's got four hours or so. Wade texts him saying he probably won't see Peter till after the Spider-Man meet up.

Peter smiles, before his stomach does a little flip. What the actual fuck had he just gotten himself into?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Legitimately kill me these finals. Ughhh.
> 
> Comment, please.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I feel like no one noticed this last chapter but, I am taking small one shot prompts to write for what happened in the year between Revealing in a Haze and this fic. If you all want some cute friends fluff or something to read while I update, ya know. Just a thought. Ily.
> 
> Also the tag I Wrote This Instead Of Sleeping is a pretty good description of my life.
> 
> Also the amount of slow burn in this fic, I'm so sorry.
> 
> Also, one more thing, kinda important thing. I reread the last chap I wrote and I actually dislike how it was written but I can't change it and I'm sorry if u were left similarly disapointed by it.
> 
> Also jfc the amount of time and effort it is going to take to get this fic to actual plot and on the road is awful. I might need to make Yet Another Sequel, later on. Also, feel free to comment any things you want to see happen (Not guarantee they will happen, but I need some ideas.)
> 
> betaed by SilverNovaHeals 2017/02/06

Spider-Man sits on the edge of the rooftop of Marco and Rey's Pizza. It's the kind of pizza place no one actually eats from and literally only stays in business because rich, snobby people buy it. (Still tastes awful, but it's like, a thing, apparently.). He swings his leg a little, looking around and humming quietly to himself.

He hears a thump behind him and some loud cursing, and he's really very glad he can't emote through his mask because there's suddenly a very large smile under his mask. He turns his head, grinning but also cringing at the sight of Wade, who looks like he snapped his wrist falling. It's bent awkwardly and his fingers itch to help him, but Spider-Man isn't at the same level of friendship/intimacy as Peter is with Wade, so he'd reject the help and probably run. Which is not something Spider-Man or his alter ego particularly want. 

"You okay?" Spider-Man asks, concern filtering heavily into his voice as he stands up and dusts himself off, mostly for dramatic effect.

"Just fine, Spidey-Whitey," Deadpool responds with manic cheer, though he is pained. Spider-Man nods. With doubt. He watches Deadpool snap his wrist into place and mutter curses under his breath as it fixes itself.

"Are you sure?" Spider-Man asks, fiddling with his Web shooter to make sure it's properly loaded one last time. 

"I'm fine as rain, Webby-Debby," Deadpool responds. Spider-Man frowns at the nickname, but doesn't comment because Deadpool's nicknames are adorable and endearing, okay?

"It's 'right' as rain, not fine," he responds in a light tone.

"It's fine now!"

"Alright," Peter agrees with a smile, before he gets a little more serious. "You're serious about this hero thing, right? Because if you're not, it'll not only hurt Peter, but prove to be a waste of my time. You seem like a great guy, Deadpool, but if this isn't serious to you-"

"I'm serious!" Deadpool sort of yells out, hands flying up in the universal sign for surrender. He goes on before Spider-Man can respond. "I'm doing this for Petey! He's the most awesome fucker on the planet, and I know he hates when I kill so- so I'm going to become a hero because I'm not, like, worthy of his delicious ass (your ass isn't too bad yourself, Spidey, are you like, long lost butt-twins?) And he's to stubborn to stop hanging out with me so I'm going to fucking make myself worthy. Plus! I wanna be a hero, so people can cheer me on and maybe then they won't threaten to kill me on the mother fuckin' daily when they see my shitload of an existence!"

"Alright, I belive you," Spider-Man reassures. "First, beforw we do anything, I have some rules."

"Ruuuules? Those aren't any fucking fun! Why do we need rules?"

"Deadpool!"

"Fiiiiiine.."

"First, tonight you're just going to watch. Do not give me that look, I am totally the teacher and this how I wanna do it. After we finish patrol- again, stop with the look! I call it patrol! What's wrong with that? Anwyay, after patrol, you can ask me questions and I'll answer them and then we can meet tomorrow and we'll do it again until I that think you're ready."

"What, is there gonna be a fucking test? C'mon Spidey-"

"Yes, there will be a freaking test! Deadpool, I think that you can become a hero, but I am not rushing that just because you're impatient."

"Fine!" Deadpool is not unlike a petulant child, crossing his arms and pouting.

"You're gonna have to ride me (No, no Deadpool. We are NOT so far that I can't ditch, do not make an innuendo I swear to god I will leave. Take a spider on a date first, geez! Don't you know how to charm a spider?) To our next destination." Deadpool squeals in what is either happiness or fear (Even P- Spider-Man can't tell.) And latches onto Spider-Man's neck. Happiness then, judging by his giddiness. Irritation all but forgotten at the prospect of riding Spider-Man.

"Yes!" Deadpool cheers, beginning to sing song, "I'm gonna swing with Spidey! I'm gonna swing with Spidey!" In the most childish and immature way a full grown, thirty... something-ish man can. That is to say, he legitimately sounded like a kindergartner. Spider-Man muses the idea of actually sending Deadpool to kindergarten. He'd probably actually, like, be excited about everything. Kindergarten Deadpool. Peter should try that, since he's already sent Wade to college, once. (Lasted three days, Peter sort of regrets it, but in a sweet, 'aw you're adorable Wade' kinda way.) 

Spider-Man hears the beginnings of a robbery a few blocks away and swings off like a heroic- nope, nope, he is not used to the extra weight on him. He narrowly dodges smashing them into the sides of large buildings three times before he gets the hang of it. Deadpool screaming in his ear in what is either fear or manic cheer makes his ears ring when he lands, skidding and stumbling. Deadpool immediately unlatches and vomits in a corner whilst laughing.

"Got to-" vomit "ride on-" vomit "Spidey!" Vomit and laughter. Spider-Man gags on the smell as he directs his attention to the muggers, who are to busy harassing a teenager to notice the vomiting ex-merc-hero-to-be and Web slinging wonder. The teenager catches sight and pleads with her eyes.

"Now sit quietly while I go take care of these muggers." Spider-Man states, before he swings into the alley while Deadpool grumbles. He starts on his usual "Hey it's your friendly, neighborhood Spider-Man here!"

The muggers turn and with weird grunts they charge. Spider-Man hits one's wrist, grabbing the knife he's holding whilst spinning out of the way when his spidey-sense blares that the other is attacking.

"Hey! Take it easy, it's my first-" Spider-Man webs the one that's running and pulls him back in, sticking him to the wall. "Okay, fine, I admit, not my first time but-" Spider-Man sighs, flipping in front of the last one that's running, webbing him to a wall. "At least let me finish speaking!" He whines, taking the guys cellphone and calling the police. The teenager bursts into tears. Spider-Man crouches in front of her as she tries to stutter out words in between sobs. 

"Hey, don't speak now, okay? The police are coming, see? Can you hear them? You're going to be fine." Spider-Man leads her to sit on the curb, and she thanks him repeatedly. When the police show up, he literally bolts, grabbing Deadpool and leaving with a quick "Wellthiswasfunbyepleasestaysafe!"

~

As it turns out, Deadpool can keep a grudge. 

"Deadpool?" Spider-Man asks as he lands on the roof. Deadpool steps off, crossing his arms and looking away. A child. This full grown man is a fucking child. Why does this surprise Spider-Man? "Deadpool, why are you giving me the silent treatment?"

"Thought I should just _sit quietly_!" Deadpool retorts, making a _hmph!_ sound as he turns his head. Spider-Man does a one-handed facepalm. 

"I didn't mean it like that," he begins, but Deadpool just makes the _Hmph_! sound again. Spider-Man gives Deadpool an unimpressed look he knows he can't see and waits for Deadpool to speak.

"I don't understand why the fuck you won't let me help!" Deadpool finally let's out, throwing his hands down from their previous position crossed across his chest as he turns to Spider-Man. "I totally can, like that one guy-"

"If you mean the robber with ski mask who's arm you cut off when he tried to get away? That was not a good way to deal with him."

"What about-"

"The second guy you tried to help deal with? You literally cut off his ear and threatened to murder his family. Again, not a good way to deal with him."

"Okay, fine, but I helped with that one-"

"Third person you tried to help with. She lost both her hands and three toes. Still not a good way to deal."

"But I also helped with-"

"Fourth person you helped with, you broke his legs. Not a good way to-"

"What about that one fucker-"

"The sixth person, the attempted rapist? You cut off his penis. Still not a good way to-"

"Fine! How about that last asshole, the-"

"Kidnapper? You sliced the backs of his  knees. He nearly bled out, W- Deadpool."

"Fuck you!" Deadpool responds, throwing his hands in the air. "I wanted to be a fucking hero, not bullshitted by someone web-sling bag of dicks!"

"Go home, then," Spider-Man responds calmly. "Sleep. If you decide you don't want to learn how to be a hero, tell Peter. If you still want to, tell him. We'll arrange a meeting. And if you do decide the latter-" Spider-Man steps on time he ledge of the roof, "Leave all your weapons at home!"

Spider-Man swings away, finding the alley he left his duffel bag in and changing. He hurries home, plopping down on his couch and turning on Princess Bride. Peter yawns, it's four in the morning. He wonders what Wade'll do. He's a bit saddened at the thought, and hopes Wade will choose to become a hero.

~

Peter watches Princess Bride a second time when Wade walks into the apartment. Peter turns, raising an eyebrow at the man. He hadn't expected to see Wade. Wade stays unusually quiet and Peter's heart drops. He pretends like it's still there.

"Petey," Wade begins, plopping down on the couch, "I don't think Spidey wants to teach me." Wade curls up, and he sounds sad. Peter frowns.

"That's ridiculous, of course he does. What makes you say that?" Peter scoots closer. Resting a hand on Wade's knee. He uses his other hand to remove Wade's mask, Wade let's him. He watches Wade's breathing become easier, watches his body stiffen then relax.

"He wouldn't let me help him, and when I tried he got mad and said I did it wrong. I didn't mean to do it wrong," Wade mumbles. "White 'n Yellow keep saying he hates us- me."

"What did you do?" Peter asks, feeling like an ass. Even though, truth be told, it's how he would have acted regardless. The problem was, if Peter was there, and not Spider-Man (Peter and Spider-Man are the same person, obviously. But Spider-Man was there for Wade, since he doesn't know.) Then after he'd scolded Wade, he would have explained. But Spider-Man doesn't know Wade like Peter does, and that means that they can't avoid this.

"A lotta things," Wade mumbles. Peter knew he wasn't going to explain further. His phone rings, it's MJ, texting him. He's suddenly very glad MJ is a nocturnal wonder.

"That was Spider-Man," Peter lies, hating it but knowing it's a necessary evil. "Do you want me to explain what you did wrong?'

Wade perks up a little, almost unnoticeably. Peter sends MJ a text back, before silencing his phone. He puts it down on the coffee table and turns to face Wade, making his body as open and relaxing as possible. He gestures to Wade's curled up form with his eyes. Wade uncurls, sitting up a little straighter. Peter smiles warmly at him, before thinking of a way to formulate a response. He pauses the movie, then bites his lip.

"Spider-Man was sort of vague, so I don't have all the details. But from what I get, you were too violent. Hey, no. Let me finish speaking, Wade. From what I know, he asked you to watch and learn before actually joining in. Which, I understand. He doesn't trust you, and that's understandable. I know it's frustrating, Wade. You don't have to sigh like that. Let me finish, please. Anyway, he asked you to watch. But when a robber tried to escape, you joined in because he was running past you. Right? He understood that, and he wasn't upset with you for joining in. He was upset you cut off his arm, Wade. No, no. Let me finish, Wade! He was upset because that was an unnecessarily violent action. You didn't need to cut off his arm, you could have punched him. He was close enough. You could have chased, or thrown something at him. What you did, however, was cut off his arm. It's to excessive. A hero isn't about punishing. A hero is about catching them, so they can be punished."

"But," Wade begins, and pauses. His brain catching up to his mouth as it tries to formulate a response. "But, what's wrong with cutting off his arm? It won't kill him!" Frustration rolls off of him in waves as he tries to understand. Peter smiles.

"Wade, it doesn't matter if it won't kill him. Not killing is only a small part of a bigger whole. To be a hero Wade, you don't want to cause the pain. You want to get rid of it."

Wade frowns, not understanding completely, but getting the gist of it. He hugs Peter, and Peter smiles warmly.

"I'll try again with Spidey," Wade grumbles, words muffled into Peter's chest. Peter nods, content with Wade there.

"Alright," he responds.

Peter wonders if this is what normal friends do. No, seriously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I beg for comments and the end of my life because fiiiinnnnaaaallllssss. Sob.
> 
> Reminder: (I am taking small one shot prompts to write for what happened in the year between Revealing in a Haze and this fic. If you all want some cute friends fluff or something to read while I update, ya know. Just a thought. Ily.) 
> 
> [any remaining mistakes as of Feb 6th are my fault. Sorry! ~Nova]


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter but I'll make it up to you with a longer next chap!
> 
>  
> 
> betaed by SilverNovaHeals 2018-02-09

"What the fuck, Wade?" Peter cried in mock betrayal as he watched his character fly through the air, missing it's lower legs. Wade snickered.

"Shouldn't have trusted me, Baby Boy!" He responded, as the game announced loudly that Peter had lost and that Wade had won.

"Betraaaayaaaaal," Peter hissed, placing the controller down nicely on the table before flopping himself over Wade's lap. His head and shoulders bent over the arm of the couch while his lower back and legs rested either over Wade's lap or on the couch. A frankly uncomfortable position for anyone who didn't have Peter's flexibilty. Wade snickers again.

"You promised you wouldn't blow me up!" Peter whines, snatching Wade's controller and placing it down on the couch. Wade had brought some form of gaming console (xbox? Playstation? It's been a very, very long time since he's played on a console.)

"I lied," Wade whispers like it's some scandalous secret.

"Go make me food," Peter commands, and Wade huffs at him.

"But, Petey, I won!" Wade argues, Peter crossed his arms and stared at the ceiling, which is all he can see without bending up to look at Wade.

"Fooooooooood," is all Peter responds with. Wade scoffs and shoves Peter off his lap unceremoniously, causing Peter to land on the ground in a heap of flailing limbs and shouts of protest.

There's sounds of Wade humming and rambling (He can do it at the same time and Peter is immensely jealous.) As he digs around the kitchen for various ingredients. Peter listens, content with the sounds and his entire life. Peter moves around a bit, going from heap-of-limbs to laying comfortably on the floor. He closes his eyes.

He can just see it, in the corners of his closed eyes. Wade's form cooking him dinner. It's calming, how he can hear and smell every sound. Taste it, almost. His breathing evens out, his eyes slipping away. His mind drifting off.

_Wade's smiling at him. The kind of smile that's so large you can see his dimples, and it crinkles up his face a little. Lighting up his eyes. Peter smiles back, and Wade holds out a plate of food-_

"Baby boy, you do not get to go to sleep! Wake your delicious ass up so you can eat my delicious food and then fall asleep!"

Peter sits upright, a blush filling his face. He'd fallen asleep! He feels a little embarrassed but it fades when he sees Wade's face. Wade is frowning at him in a mocking manner, a fond smile playing in his eyes. (Wow, was he a slam poet now?)

Peter grabs the food offered to him and takes a bite. He moans at its deliciousness, leaning his head against Wade's leg. Wade plays with his hair and takes a bit himself.

"This is sooooo good," Peter says once he's done chewing because, manners, "If we open a restaraunt we are calling this meal that. Like, customers will open their menu and it'll just say 'This is soooo good!' For the name of the meal."

"Ooooh, are we gonna have fancy gold menus or paper ones?"

"Fancy gold paper ones, because we're classy but affordable."

"Mmm,"

There's a silence that's only broken by the sound of Peter cutting his food. (Wade does NOT use silverware to eat fucking chicken! Who do you think he is, A HEATHEN?)(Peter just doesn't like the way grease feels on his hands.)

"Peter, you heathen," Wade grumbles. Peter makes an agreeing noise, knowing Wade doesn't actually want a worded response.

Peter finishes his food pretty quickly, but Wade was done far sooner. He goes about grabbing the dishes and shoving them in the sink so he can procrastinate on dishes. Peter wonders if Wade'll do them, as he occasionally does, or if they'll just pile up till Peter can't stand the smell and then he'll do them himself.

The though of dishes reminds him that he actually has plans to have a lunch date with Aunt May. He'd told her about Wade, and she had demanded to meet him. He should probably tell Wade he's forcing him to come with. He walks out of the kitchen and plops himself down on the couch. Wade throws his legs over Peter's lap and Peter moves, tangling their legs together as Wade absentmindedly taps his fingers on the arm rest of the couch. Quietly murmuring to himself.

"Wade," Peter begins, and Wade's finger stop mid-tap. The sudden silence makes Peter's ears ring just the slightest. Like when you're playing music in the background and someone turns it off. "I told Aunt May about you. She says you have to meet her."

"No, no I don't," Wade responds immediately. "I absolutely do not have to meet your Aunt, who is sweet. That is not a thing I have to do. Who has to meet your Aunt May? Not me! That's-"

"Wade," Peter's tone of voice stops Wade from speaking, and Wade stays quiet. Not an I'm-thinking quiet, the I-refuse-to-speak-to-you quiet. The silent treatment. Peter let's out an exasperated sigh, "Wade," he sighs out.

Wade does not reply. Oh _come on,_ not this again!

"Wade! She just wants to meet you! It's not like she's going to kill you," Peter says. Wade continues with his silence and Peter can already feel his nervous system rebooting with a 'Hello? Fuck's up, man, say hello to me!'

"Wade, please? It'll be a quick ten minutes at her house, you don't even have to say much! Just a quick, 'Hey, hello, my name's Wade!' Then you can leave!"

Wade stays quiet, Peter becomes acutely aware of his heart beat and his breathing. He hates when Wade does this (he's done it twice, he's always really apologetic after. It's not something he can control? Like, he hears the words but it takes to long to process them and his brain is mad, but he knows it upsets Peter so he's always really, really sorry when he does it.)

"Wade," his voice cracks a little, and Wade snaps out of his angered silence. He pulls Peter closer, until Peter has kind of fallen into his chest.

"Please?" Peter tries again. Wade stays quiet, but it's an I'm-Thinking silence, so it doesn't bother Peter.

"Fiiiiiiiiine!" Wade surrenders. Peter grins and hugs Wade.

"Yes!" Peter hops off, all excited, before Wade jumps up and checks the time.

"Gotta go see Spidey! Byyyyyye!"

Wade bolts out the front door. Peter sighs, pouting a little. Why the fuck was he getting more attention then... himself. This was confusing. Peter grabs his duffel bag and leaves through the window, changing in a nearby alley and swinging to a roof.

Spider-Man and Deadpool had been meeting each other for a week now, and Spider-Man figured maybe, just maybe he'd let Deadpool help out. He lands on Marco and Rey's roof, skidding some pebbles out of the way. Deadpool comes a few seconds later, sputtering his usual stream of curses and swears.

Spider-Man closes his eyes as he crosses his arms, straining his senses out to see if Deadpool had any weapons on his person. None, good. He'd finally come without any weapons. He'd been gradually coming with less, and they always had to stop so they could find a place to hide them since Spider-Man had an adamant no-weapons rule when it pertained to Deadpool. His reasoning being that he simply did not trust the man. (Partly true, Peter does not trust Deadpool fully to not use those weapons in a harmful way.)

"Deadpool," Spider-Man says curtly, but with a hint of a sort of warm fondness.

"Hey Spidey-Bitey! How are ya doin? Wanna fuc-"

"Deadpool, continue that sentence and I will end you, and this."

"Aw, you're no fun!"

"Clearly you haven't seen me in bed,"

Wait.

Fuck.

Fuck again.

Back track.

Did Spider-Man just flirt back? Wait, no, back track farther, did Peter just make the conscious decision to flirt back?

Fuck.

Wait.

Does this mean?

No.

No. They are friends. Just friends. The friendsiest of friend. Only friends. Nothing more.

But-

No.

Spider-Man takes a moment to click back into reality to see that Deadpool is openly gaping. Like, he can see it through the mask. He can practically see the wide eyes of shock. He regrets this decision, greatly.

"C-Come again?" Deadpool responds, actually stuttering. It's not that shocking right? It can't be. Well, it is but, it's not!

"You'd _love_ that, wouldn't you?" Spider-Man's mouth moves before he can negotiate with it.

FUCK.

Deadpool snaps out of his shocked stupor and regains his composure. He pouts, crossing his arms.

"Why do you get to flirt and I don't?" He whines, and Spider-Man smirks.

"Because I'm not something you can do," Spider-Man replies easily, and he decides that fuck it, he can flirt back. It's just banter, it's not like either of them are serious about it!

Right?

Right.

Riiiiiight.

Sigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gimme some prompts so I can write one shots of the year we missed between RiaH and this fic!
> 
> Comments are greatly appreciated. I love you all.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have this actual story I'm coming up with that includes, but is not limited to:
> 
> Post-Hydra-Torture Peter (au)  
> Morally grey-ish Peter (will still not kill.)  
> Semi-integrated with Venom and Carnage Peter  
> Can-hear-the-boxes Peter (as a result of Venom and Carnage.)  
> Lots of SpideyPool  
> Peter getting over PTSD/various other things.  
> Peter and Bucky and Nat becoming part of the #hydratorturedusbutwe'regoodnow squad  
> Peter eventually getting over his fears and living a safe, happy life.  
> Three chapters already completed with very good lengths.  
> Established SpideyPool.  
> Peter helping Loki through PTSD in a later portion.  
> Background gammafrost.  
> Lots of good shit.  
> Also a four-shot thing I'm working on.
> 
> So, yeah.
> 
>  
> 
> betaed SilverNovaHeals 2018-02-09. Blame me for anymore mistakes.
> 
> ALSO PLEASE GIVE ME PROMPTS SO I CAN WRITE ONE SHOTS OF THE MISSING YEAR BETWEEN RiaH and THIS FIC.
> 
> Also, shameless self promo but I totes have a spideypool unrelated onseshot about stripper!Peter. You all should read it.

Spider-Man decides to avoid thinking about the whole flirting/banter dilemma by sitting down on the rooftop to have a serious conversation with Deadpool. He motions for Deadpool to sit as well, and he hesitantly obliges. 

Sitting criss-cross-applesauce (Yes, Peter/Spider-Man still call it that. Sue him. Wait, no, fight him.) Across from each other, there is an awkward silence in which Spider-Man debates how to go about testing Deadpool, and Deadpool wonders if Spider-Man would would consider enjoying the fun. (What the fun is, he does not know.)

"Deadpool," Spider-Man begins, "I'm going to test you."

"Test me? Oooh, are you gonna grade me after?" Deadpool responds in his usual manner, wiggling his eyebrows (Spider-Man is really jealous of how well Deadpool can emote through the mask. Really jealous.)

"Seriously, Deadpool, I'm actually going to test you to see if you can actually help me with patrol and stuff," Spider-Man responds, tone serious. Deadpool straightens his back, and Spider-Man knows he's being serious despite the next few words that fly out the mouth of ex-merc-hero-to-be.

"What kinda stuff?" Deadpool's voice is suggestive, as per usual.

"Oh I don't know, Deadpool, but if you're lucky It'll involve a bed and sleeping," Spider-Man says lightly.

"Together?" Deadpool asks, still holding that same tone of voice.

"No, you'll be on the floor," Spider-Man responds.

"Kinky," is all Deadpool says in response, and Spider-Man takes it as his chance to continue on with explaining the test.

"I'll let you help me out today, and I'll sorta grade how well you do. Then we'll go back up here afterwords and I'll tell you how you did and we'll go from there," Spider-Man replies, getting up.

"Okay!" Deadpool chirps and pulls himself up, sort of skipping to Spider-Man. He leans in close to Spider-Man's ear, voice dropping to a whisper, "I'm gonna ride-"

"Let me stop you right there," Spider-Man responds, feeling the tips of his ears go pink. This was way too much flirting. And he was being very direct and Spider-Man is suddenly very aware of the fact that he is encouraging Deadpool to say these types of things. Flirting? Banter? Tolerable. Dirty little whispers in his ear? Only if there's been no flirting and banter.

Deadpool let out a little noise of glee, probably able to sense how flustered Spider-Man was just by the tone of his voice, despite Spider-Man having a voice modifier in his suit. He wraps his arms around Spider-Man's neck, and Spider-Man swings off without warning.

Deadpool has gotten better about screaming. (After one memorable incident in which Spider-Man's ears literally bled, he's tried not to do it too much.) But Spider-Man hadn't warned him about how he was just going to drop off the ledge, so he couldn't really help it.

Spider-Man's ears ring a little, but at least he's used to swinging with Deadpool on him. He only comes close to smashing into a building once, and that was because Deadpool had decided to pull his legs up and wrap them around Spider-Man mid swing. He strains out his sentences, listening for sounds of crime.

Spider-Man hears the sound of some drunk yelling and a some cries of protest, and lands behind a small office building. Two men slowly cornering another man, and his gut twists a little when he realizes the implications of their body language. Rapists, then.

Deadpool looks very much like he is capable of murdering someone with his glare through his mask, and Spider-Man hesitates briefly when they share a look. He has to trust, Deadpool, though, so he nods. Deadpool begins to walk into the alley way, posture relaxed, though Spider-Man can see the completely tense way in which he walks.

Deadpool starts talking. Which makes all three of the people pale, they all assume the worst.

"-'ve been trying to get into the hero business, see, and my friend Spidey's been helping me...." Spider-Man hears Deadpool says, and he watches as Deadpool quickly knocks them out.

The first thing he does is punch the first man, he goes out like a light. The second one struggles a bit more, obviously a little more sober. He gets one punch in before Deadpool grabs his arm and yanks it behind his back before headbutt in him from behind, and he slumps unconscious.

They're really drunk and it's quick. He notices Deadpool tugs a little too hard on one man's arm, and it dislocates. He should probably dock points off, but it's something he probably would have done too. He does dock half points for each swear, though.

The victim looks confused but very grateful as he cries and thanks Deadpool, forgetting Spider-Man is there. Deadpool has no idea how to react and he actually gets awkward, chuckling and stammering out "You're welcomes," and "No problems,"

They call the police and wait before sprinting away. The police had gotten better at catching vigilantes and heroes and the like, so they could never really stay long.

The next place is the same, except with robbers. The next place is a mugging. It's all very nice and Deadpool does a pretty good job. They flirt and banter and Spider-Man forgets they're just supposed to be friends and sometimes they take it really far.

He still can't handle actually dirty talking, or dirty whispering in his ear, or anything else that pertains to dirtily saying something to him without blushing and stuttering a little. It makes his stomach twist in a weird way and his heart do a little thing it should definitely not be doing in the company of friends.

Deadpool loves every second of it.

~

Spider-Man figures they could last one more crime-fighting thing before he goes to grade Deadpool and send them home. He's about ready to assume all criminals have gone home when gunfire erupts for all of five seconds before silencing itself. Spider-Man pinpoints the source of the sound as a warehouse.

Spider-Man skids to a halt, stumbling as Deadpool unlatches himself from him, they peer at the warehouse quietly. Gunshots which were there a few seconds ago have ceased all noise. His heart picks up speed as his ears ring from the complete silence emenating from the warehouse, and he walks over to the door, testing the knob.

The knob falls off and Spider-Man peers inside.

He screams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, plz.
> 
> Also I'm sorry it's short i've just never left people on a cliff hanger before and I really wanted to.
> 
> Actual plot has nt even started yet and that is really sad and romance. Unfortunately, is still going to he the slowest of burns. I'm evil. No seriously this slow burn it'd great theyve known each other waht, a year now?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello.  
> Not very gory but still.
> 
> Love you all.
> 
> One shot prompt ideas for the year between RiaH and this fic still needed.
> 
> Any. Guesses as to who this mysterious K8 is?
> 
> betaed SilverNovaHeals 2018-02-09

Peter realized a few seconds too late that he was screaming, and clamped his mouth shut. The sudden ending of sound making his ears ring as he stated into the warehouse, fear pinging through his body whilst his Spidey-Sense screamed at him. He had nowhere to run, no way to avoid whatever it was. His entire body shook, goosebumps ripping through his skin as his hair almost seemed to fight against the spandex to stand on it. His grub on the doorframe getting tighter, tighter until it snapped under his hand.

His mouth felt dry. His eyes felt like they were shaking as his breath started to leave him in a jagged sort of way. His entire body was so busy being attacked by his spidey-sense that he couldn't even move. It felt like extricate was raging through his veins. It felt like Electro had come back. His body continued in its violent shaking, and he could here Deadpool calling his name, his nicknames, but he couldn't move. Couldn't respond. His teeth grinding against each other as he fought with himself to keep it shut, to avoid screaming again.

Unsure of what had provoked the scream, Deadpool peered over Spidey's shoulder into the warehouse. Spider-Man remains completely immobolized, and he continues to crush the door frame, and now the door knob, in grip. He doesn't notice the tears streaming down his face until it's to late. Deadpool feels himself shake as well, though it's anger that's curled into his gut, anger that makes him practically vibrate, fury that makes him clench his fists and grit his teeth, hatred that boils his blood and makes him growl.

But the added threat of Deadpool's anger and fury, which although will not hurt him, scatters Spider-Mam's spidey-sense, which is already so overstimulated. It doesn't have the capacity to assess whether or not Deadpool is a genuine threat, it just knows that there is danger, and it makes him see stars. His whole body seeming to jerk unaturally as it tries to figure out where these threats are.

His entire body shuts down, his body falling forward. His eyes getting another awful sight of what's on that warehouse, before it all sharply stabs him with black.

Deadpool rushes to catch Spidey, assessing where he is. It's far from Peter's. He figures he'll just take Spidey to his safe house.

He takes one last look at the contents of the warehouse.

Masses of flesh, different colors and different ages and qualities. Flesh, that's it you can discern faces from arms and legs, but there is just piles of flesh, and within that flesh there's clothes and objects scattered about. There is no blood, it almost looks like someone's melted wax or plastic. 

That's not the worse part. The worse part, is how there is something in that mountain of flesh, something moving and alive. You can just barely see it moving, but it buries deep into Deadpool's chest. For once, he feels close to vomiting at the sight.

On top of the mountain, there's a throne. It's the only the covered in blood. There's nothing sitting on it. For now.

~

Spider-Man blinks his eyes open, sitting up with a small start and looking around. He catches sight of Deadpool cooking, and he lays back down, sort of cuddling into the couch in hopes to regain the sleep and warmth he'd just had.

Deadpool drops a plate with a large stack of pancakes on his couch-side table, and Peter looks up at it. His stomach twists painfully, he checks the time. Four in the morning. He's got time, for now. He can't stomach pancakes, or anything. He curls up a little more.

"You gotta eat, Spidey," Deadpool says, "I've got a bucket on the floor by your head if you need it-"

As if on cue, Spider-Man rips his mask up to his nose and turns violently and quickly, the contents of his stomach forcing themselves out and into the bucket. His throat burns as he retches, regurgitated food making a disgusting slopping noise  as it hits the bucket, paired with his own accompanying pathetic gagging noises. His eyes burn with tears, and as he dry heaves he lets out small little whimpering sobs of pain.

Deadpool had, at some point, walked over and sat next to him, or rather, the bucket, and had been rubbing his back. Saying small smoothing things and rambling in between them, up and down, up and down. The hand rubs on his back as Spider-Man is finally done, he lays back down on his back, head against the couches arm rest ad he breathes heavily. The smell of bile filling his noise and making him gag again. That whimpering sound comes back, and he remembers vividly what had happened last night.

He'd only seen something like that once before. His heart drops at the thought, of the implications. He'd let himself believe- how could he have been so stupid? It would never find him. Never, that was a grantee but he? He could find it. No, no, please. He doesn't want to-

A glass of water is placed on his slightly open lips, and he drinks the small stream of water greedily, using his shaking hands to hold it. Deadpool'so hands stay on the glass, but Spider-Man'a rest on top. Once he's done, he tries to sit up.

"Woah there, Webby-Debby, no-can-do," Deadpool remarks cheerily, pushing on Spider-Man's chest gently with one hand.

"I'd like to argue that you or I can, in fact do," Spider-Man strains out from his lips. Deadpool smiles cheekily.

"Not when your sick like this," Deadpool remarks. "Lemme find some aspirin or ibuprofen or whatever the fuck you use to fix this. Do I need to double the dose or something?"

"Yeah, double," Spider-Man responds, too tired, suddenly, to come up with some dirty spin on the words. Deadpool gets up and roots around before producing four pills and a glass of water for Spider-Man, who takes all four and the water. A few minutes later he fumbles for the stack of pancakes and eats a small portion. Then he forces himself to get up, even though it still makes his head spin.

"Woah, wait-"

"I can't," Spider-Man hisses, "I have to go."

~

When Peter gets to work he is at that awful stage of being awake where you know you need coffee but you can also tell that drinking coffee will make you horribly sick.

He sort of half stumbles into the lab.

"Kid," Tony begins, already ready to send him home. Peter sends him a look, and it feels so wrong in his eyes that Tony takes a moment to compose himself.

Peter uses that moment by half-falling into his chair in front of his desk. His eyes scanning the rows of spider cages. B3, missing, but is actually on Tony's head. O4, missing, but is actually dangling off a Web off of Nat's ear like an earing. His eyes keep going across the cages.

K8. Missing. Unaccounted for. He let's out a quiet, self deprivation chuckle. He'd hoped, he'd hoped that K8 had died in the bomb. He'd hoped, so bad. But no, K8 was alive and-

K8 would not find him. The spiders had made sure of that, but Peter knew he was more worried about something else. Something worse. Because even if K8 could never find him, there was always the matter of fact that he, could, in fact, find K8.

 Peter's stomach twists, and not wanting Wade's medicine to go to waste, he shakes the thoughts away and focuses on happier things. Like Wade. He was his friend, and he had a nice smile and made Peter's heart do that floppy thing. It was a nice floppy thing. It'd be pretty nice to just...

_Wade leaned in, kissing his forehead before shoving a strawberry in Peter's mouth. Peter bit it, giggling before chewing and swallowing. He flicked Wade's nose, causing an adorable frown to cross the man's features. His eyebrowless brows furrow in and his whole face seemed to screw itself towards the middle, adorable._

_Peter giggles again, and suddenly Wade is leaning in._

His eyes snap open, and he frowns. What kind of dream was that? His eyes begin to greedily close, again, but Peter forces himself to remain awake.

It lasts about three seconds.

_Wade grins, the kind of grin that shows he's proud. It makes him close his eyes a little bit, but his teeth are partially showing and-_

_There's hundreds, no are thousand of them. Crawling, crawling-_

_Wade leans in, in._

_His mouth opens._

_A thousand eyes._

_Peter screams._

Peter screams, loud and shrill, shooting and stumbling backwards out and then back into his chair. Fear smashing into every part of his system. He can't remember why he's so scared but he's scared, so scared.

Tony and Bruce are by his side in an instant, trying to calm him down. Peter starts crying, and now everything is just blurring together. He gets whisked up to a guest room, where he calls Wade and says he's had a night terror. He confesses to not having slept well.

Wade rambles. He doesn't mention the nigh terror or asks what he thinks it was. He avoids the subject and just talks. Background noise, Peter knows. Placing the phone by his ear and laying back down in his bed.

His eyes drift closed again.

_Wade smiles warmly, foundly. Scared hands lightly tracing Peter's cheek. He leans in._

_Their lips touch._

Peter's eyes snap open, and he checks his phone. Although the dream was only seconds long, it's been hours since he passed out. Wade's call had ended to spare Peter his phone bill from hell.

Peter sighs.

Why?

Why now?

He doesn't even try to deny it.

Oh god.

_He has a crush on Wade._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha, ha.
> 
> Don't worry its still slow burn.
> 
> Who is K8?  
> Gimme your guess.
> 
> Also comment. Please.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh today had been an awful day but I produced a chap so whatever. 
> 
> Still taking one shot requests.
> 
> betaed SilverNovaHeals 2018-02-09

Wade isn't at his apartment when he gets there. Peter's kind of grateful. His hands keep shaking and he keeps thinking of last night, even worse, it's bringing back awful memories of everything else that's happened. The bomb, Gwen, Ben, Venom, Carange, the other symbiotes, K8's first appearence, Green Goblin, Harry. He really wasn't actually to stable, now that he thinks about it. His mentality is sort of pretty much  _Deal with it til I can ignore it._ Good in the short term, awful on the long term.

He calls Wade five seconds after he drops his duffel bag and sinks into the couch.

"Hey Wade, Spider-Man texted. He says he can't make it tonight," Peter speaks into the phone the moment it answers.

"I figured," Is Wade's response. It's a low mumble. Something's bothering him.

"Do you wanna come over? You sound like somethings wrong," Peter asks, just a little hopeful. His own day's been shit and revelling in his shit with Wade generally makes them both feel better.

There's someone taking to him on the other end. Wade seems to have covered his phone to respond. Peter waits, then Wade speaks up.

"Nah, Petey-Sweetey, I-I'm-"

"If the next word out of your mouth is good there will be serious scolding," Peter states, because ha, no, Wade you never stutter some serious sit just happened. "Where are you? I'll come over."

"Weasel's," Wade responds, intentionally vague. Peter knows who Weasel is because Wade's talked about him before.

"Weasel? You've mentioned him before. Sister Margaret's, right? Be there in..." Peter uses his spider drone as a temperary gps. Karen tells him it'll take ten to twenty minutes to reach. With his bike and added Spider-ness, he could get there in five. "Five minutes."

"What- Petey, wait, don't-"

"Oh, look, I already have my shoes on! Oh wow, look, I have my keys now! Oh whoopy, I'm miraculously walking towards my bike-"

"Fuck you," Wade responds, and Peter bites back a  _when and where?_

"Whatever you say," Peter responds instead, hopping on his bike and hanging up.

As promised, he arrives at Sister Margaret's seven minutes later. Okay, fine, as relatively promised. He'd miscalculated, don't judge. Peter parks his bike in a nearby alley, before peaking into the window of the bar.

Wade is in there full costume at the bar, flipping off the bartender. It looks somewhat goodnatured, so that's sort of good. He watches Wade start a bar fight by giving someone a drink (he knows Wade got the drink, he's got super hearing.). Peter walks in.

At the sight of him, about a third of the bar snaps there gaze at him. Which leads to he rest of the bar doing so. He waves somewhat awkwardly, and that seems to be the cue for someone to throw something at him. Out of reflex and a brief buzz of spidey-sense, he catches it.

Holy fuck it's a knife. Someone threw a knife at him. Fuuuuuck. Peter stares at the knife, a little miffed. He looks around the room, sighs.

"Okay," he says, "Okay," he repeats, "this is honestly a lot better than what I expected."

Wade has not noticed he's there. He's a little offended. Like, hello? Wade, your best friend here? Okay, maybe not your best friend but still. Notice himmmm.

Oh god, Peter is a high school girl. Peter sighs to his ridiculous self and walks over to Wade, flicking his nose to catch his attention. Well, he flicked the mask, but it was the part over the nose so whatever.

Whatever noise was in the room drops. Okay, so, he shouldn't have flicked the side of Wade's nose? Oh, that's right, this is Deadpool. Scary Deadpool. Definitely not the kind of person you generally see small, skinny civilians flick the nose of. Okay, the silence is justified then.

"Hey Baby Boy!" Wade greets about half a second after the flick, "Can you tell this cunt sucker you're my best friend and not someone I'm paying to pretend to be my best friend who I totally didn't make up for the past year?" Peter turns to  _Cunt Sucker,_ or rather, who he assumes is Weasel. In the back of his head, he thinks the name fits.

"I'm not someone he's paying to pretend to be his best friend who he didn't make up for the last year? Is that even a sentence that makes sense? Okay, here, my name is Peter, I've known Wade for a year. We're friends. He's my best friend. We're great. What's your name?" Peter breaks himself from his ramble before it actually starts. Weasel blinks. The bar is still strangely silent.

"Don't just stare, it's fuckin' rude," Wade snaps at Weasel, though it's also directed to the rest of the bar. No one seems to notice he's said anything.

"Ooooookay?" Peter drawls in confusion, climbing up to shove Wade off the bar stool.

"Hey!"

"Revenge for this morning!"

"Fuck you!"

"Sure, sure," Peter responds, waving his hand dismissively. He turns to Weasel.

~

Peter doesn't know how he feels about Weasel. He thinks Weasel's cool but he's also low key sorta mean to Wade and that's not cool at all. Peter kinda thinks Weasel's name just reeeeaaaally fits him, you know? Peter's not drunk, fuck you.

Okay, well, he's sober now. He definitely hadn't had enough to drink. He can't actually get drunk for more than five minutes unless it's really strong shit, so he figures out drinking the bar was a great ice breaker.

He already has a headache. He's home, right now. Sprawled on the couch, Wade on the other end. Their legs are tangled together in the middle. They sit like that all the time. Peter wonders if normal friends do that.

Peter is lazily quoting Princess Bride with Wade, who, like Peter, now has the entire movie script memorized. Peter yawns, but he doesn't feel tired. He doesn't think he can sleep like this, though. He's afraid his unresolved issues he stubbornly refuses to accept as issues will come haunt him and give him nightmares.

Wade's been having a shit day, too. Apparently he has to meet the X-Men for something in like, a month. (He tried to avoid it and say he wouldn't go but Peter insisted he did.) And on top of that, some people were giving him shit for quitting the mercenary business again.

Peter's shit day included seeing evidence K8 was alive, having to cancel lunch with Aunt May (he's forced to come in three days on Friday. With Wade.). It also included the Avengers being scolding mother hens and telling him a bunch of health tips. Also, refusing to let him work and forcing him to stick in his guest room. He couldn't sleep for most of so he ended up bored out of his mind. He only got out once to eat. Well, more like let out. Also, as far as Wade knows, shit about the bomb is resurfacing and that's what's probably going to fuck up his sleep for the next few days. Not too uncommon.

Peter and Wade chat before Wade cooks dinner. (Heavenly.). Then they play video games for an hour before Peter passed out, upper body sort of flopping into Wade's lap. Wade just played with and strocked his hair. It was all very content and normal. No, literally, this was a common occurrence. Wade was really touchy-feely and Peter was just an extremely comfortable person and didn't care much about how much they were touching.

 ~

Peter wakes up and immediately knows he's alone. His heart does a sad sorta little flip flop, and he sits up. Pushing off the blanket Wade had kindly pulled on top of him at some point in the night. His eyes looking over to the coffee table where a note tells him Wade has gone to meet Wolverine about some shit.

Peter decides he's going to take full advantage of the day off he was given by Tony after the whole night-terror fiasco and pops up. He's going to go outside or something, sits it's a nice day. (He can practically hear MJ's dramatic gasp.  _Oh my god! Peter?? In the sun?? It's a miracle!_ ). He changes and showers quickly, putting on the various gadgets and accessories he uses to help with his senses and shoving on a hat. He pulls on his shoes and grabs his duffel bag. (He never leaves without it.)

He eats the last of the strawberries in the newest fruit basket he's been given. (Every Monday, like clockwork unless Wade misses a Monday. Then he gets two the following week.) Then he heads outside and even decides to walk. It's actually a really, really nice day and he decides that yes, he is most definitely going to the park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please gimme comments.
> 
> Also jfc Peter what is wrong with you like srsly aren't u supposed to be a smart scientist? Why can't u just take care of yourselffff???


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, this is just a small filler chapter with searing fluff and protective!Peter. Also slightly dangerous you get to take a look at the inner spider!Peter. Also featuring Wolverine as a dick (will change, I swear) and adorable Wade. I'm currently working on a one shot book for the prompts I'm getting, so be sure to check the series page for it!
> 
> betaed SilverNovaHeals 2018-02-09

Peter buys a hot dog (he has money for once, it's kinda nice. He and Wade should have pizza tonight.) And continues walking. He zones out a little, content to listen to children playing and gaggles of people gossiping. (In one memorable moment, a group of teenagers caught sight of him and called him cute in a nerd way. He blushed.) He completely misses, however, the random wall he's slammed into. He thinks it's a brick wall. Regardless, he's slammed into a wall.

Peter looks up at the wall from his place on the floor (the hot dog fell, that's to be mourned later.). He sees red and thinks that yes, it is a brick wall, before he suddenly realized that that particular shade of red looks eerily familiar. Peter takes a moment for recognition to take place.

"Wade?" Peter asks, mildly confused. "What are you doing here?"

"Peter?" Wade responds with, similarly confused as he holds out a hand to help Peter up. "Baby Boy, what are you doing here?"

"It was a nice day!" Peter responds in a mildly defensive tone as he grabs the hand, letting himself get pulled up. "I decided to take a walk in the park. Do not give me that look, I can go outside too!"

"To go to work! You never go outside, Petey Sweetey, which is a shame because that ass is just great and needs to be adored, but still! Back to thm e point, you never go outside. It's a fucking fact! Even MJ admits it, and she's like, your best friend," Wade responds, before muttering an add on, not directed to Peter. "No, I'm not- shut it-"

"Introducing you to MJ was an awful mistake," Peter grumbles, dusting himself off. He can legitimately smell Wolverine next to him where he can't see. Everyone has distinctive smells, which he can generally pick out. (His smell's not as good as Wolverine, but it's certainly _better_ than better than average.) For a brief moment he realizes that shiiiiiit, Wolverine will most definitely know he is Spider-Man, because scents, duh! Even suits can't mask them. But then he realizes Wolverine's a cool bro, and totally won't out him out of a superhero closet.

"You love me," Wade responds, and Peter smiles.

"Yeah, I do," Peter agrees, his tone a little too sincere. Not that Wade notices. Wolverine, who he still cannot see, totally does. He knows because he can  _hear_ Wolverine's body language.  Peter's eyebrow furrows. "And what do you mean MJ is like, my best friend! You're my best friend, remember?"

"When did you tell me that? I do not remember that! Peter, are you keeping secrets from me?" Wade let's out a mock scandalized breath, putting his hand to his heart for added dramatic effect. "How could you?" Wade sounds uncaring, but Peter can see his shoulders pop up, and knows Wade is made happy by Peter's words.

"Anyway," Peter changes the subject, "Why are you here?"

"I was meeting with him!" Wade responds, before fumbling under his breath again, pointing to Wolverine so he could craft to Peter he  _him_ was.Peter turns and his eyes go wide (He's totally not surprised, but he has to pretend to be.) Peter's brain-to-mouth filter goes offline as it usually does whenever he sees other heroes who are considerably more famed than him and he doesn't know how to react.

"I expected you to have a lot more facial hair," Peter admits frowning. The last time he'd seen Wolverine (who he's only met three times, all as Spider-Man.) It had been dark, and while he does have considerably good vision in the dark, it'd definitely made Wolverine look like he had way more facial hair.

Wolverine frowns, unsure of exactly how he was supposed to react to that. Wade starts laughing, which makes both Peter and Wolverine look at him in confusion.

"What?" Peter asks, looking around in confusion, "What's so funny?"

"You-" gasp "Meet Wolverine-" screech of laughter, more gasps, "and the first thing you say-" howls of laughter, collapsing to his knees. Arms held over his stomach as he tries to breatg. "Is you expected him to have-" gasp "more facial hair!" Wade absolutely cackles. Peter blinks.

"This is like when I met Captain America for the first time," he remarks, "I said his ass was more disapointing up close, and I'm pretty sure I nearly gave Clint a heart attack, he was laughing so hard." The words seem to add fuel to the metaphorical fire, and Wade absolutely shrieks in laughter. Peter smiles because hey, Wade's laughing. That's nice. Wolverine seems to think the opposite, tensing.

A few seconds later Peter suddenly hates Wolverine, because Wolverine makes a comment that makes Wade freeze. His smile dropping. Peter hadn't heard the comment, but from Wade's body language he can certainly guess. He has the unmistakably spider-like urge to kill Wolverine, wrap him up in a cacoon, and devour his insides. Not that he would, but the urge remains and he glares at Wolverine. He doesn't notice.

"Wade, let's go to my house," Peter says cheerily, ice laying under his words as he smiles.

"But, Wol-"

"Fuck him," Peter snaps, and Wade's mask's eyes seem to comedically widen. He turns to Wolverine, who has a similarly surprised expression. "Oh, I'm sorry, but someone who says things like that-" he spits out the word venomously "-Just to stop them from laughing-" Peter clenches his fist and gis eyes are positively murderous, "-doesn't deserve to take a moment of Wade's time. Or anyone's, for that matter." Peter holds the glare, maintaining eye contact with Wolverine before he turns to Wade, whose mouth is wide open.

"Baby boy," he begins, but the way Peter seems to be looking at him, he shuts up. Then he glances at the hot dog that feel on the floor, and Peter follows his gaze.

"My hot dog," he says despairingly, "Wade, you owe me another one! And pizza, from that really good and really cheap place."

"Whatever you say, Baby Boy!" Wade responds, "Anything from that delicious ass."

Peter hums in response to that, noting the use of 'from' rather than for, but not commenting. They make their way over to the hot dog stand, Wolverine somewhat forgotten by Wade. Peter really likes his day off, even though he keeps remembering the way Wade looked. Entire body freezing, laughter disappearing in an instant. It made his blood boil. Or freeze. He just felt icy hatred, to be honest, with anyone that could ever cause such a drastic change to Wade.

Somewhere in there adventure, Peter realizes that he has a crush on Wade. And he realizes he's had it for a while. And he realizes that it didn't change much because they were still friends. And even though that pulled his heart the wrong and made his stomach do a little flip, he was okay with it. Wade was happy, and he was mostly happy, and he could deal. He's always been good with dealing.

~

Peter has been dragged to a cafe. He doesn't know how it happened, but it did. He's currently sitting at a window seat while Wade buys him pastries and coffee. Wade comes back to the table and gives him the bag with the strawberry chocolate croissant, with a blueberry frosting criss crossed horizontally on it, and a white chocolate drizzle criss crossed vertically. Peter grinned, it looks good.

"Thank you," Peter says politely, before taking it rather greedily. He bit into it, moaning. "This is good. Like not as good as your cooking, but good. Oh my god, will we have desserts in our restaurant? And free birthday cakes?"

"Obviously, baby boy! I'm not a heathen! I would never deny free birthday cakes! Oh, but we gotta have a special and really embarrassing birthday tune to sing!" Wade responded, and Peter grinned, taking another bite of his pastry and moaning again.

"This is good, this is really, really good, Wade. Thank you so much."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love you all. Leave me comments, a one shot prompt, anything. I really wanna write a merc!Peter fix so if anyone has suggestions there, that'd be p cool.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo, some nice angst to lightly sprinkle over the fluff! P soon were gonna see a LOT more of Spider and Dead interactions!
> 
>  
> 
> betae SilverNovaHeals 2018-02-10

Peter frowns at Wade. Actually, genuinely frowns. It's almost scowl-like, really. Okay, fine, he might be scowling. A scowl-frown. Okay, he doesn't know how to describe it. He's making a disagreeing in a serious and slightly frustrated way. There. That works.

"Don't give me that look," Wade yells, somewhat affronted. It's not really a yell, it's said in a normal tone of voice, but it has the same effect as a yell.

"You just asked me-" Peter says, "-To ask my boss-" Peter threads a hand through his hair, "-For an actual, paid, job." Peter tugs at the hair. Stress and worry flooding him. He could not ask his boss for a paid job. What if Tony got mad? What if Tony and Bruce didn't think he was good enough for a paid job.

"Peter!" Wade yells, and he actually yells this time. Peter doesn't think that this is fair. Wade has money! "You just gave all your money to your drug addict landlord!"

"I didn't give all of it!" Peter argues, "And it's not like he buys drugs with it!"

"You have no money!" Wade yells, making a gesture with his hands, "I can't buy everything for you!"

"Well you were sure as hell ready to do it a month ago!" Peter yells in response. He winces, then. And his voice lowers. "Sorry, that was- That-"

"It's fine, Petey," Wade sighs, and both their shoulders slump. Peter notes how their not mad at each other. They can't really stay mad at each other long.

"I-I'll ask Tony tomorrow," Peter mumbles, because he'd just gotten home from work and he can't really go back to demand money. Wade nods.

There's a long silence before they both check the time. A small silence of mutual understanding.

"Spidey?" Peter asks.

"Spidey." Wade confirms, and he walks out the door. And Peter nearly cries when it closes. The argument felt off. It didn't end right. He stares at the closed door before grabbing his duffel bag and leaving. He shouldn't have said that. He shouldn't have said that.

~

Spider-Man sits on the rooftop of Marco and Rey's, trying to blink away memories of the warehouse from two days ago. There's a thud and some cursing behind him, alerting him of a certain ex-merc-hero-to-be. Spider-Man turns.

"Hey Deadpool," he says, and he makes his voice happy.

"Hey Spidey," Deadpool mumbles back. Spider-Man frowns. He hadn't even commented on his ass. He forces himself to pretend like it's fine.

"Well, I've decided you can help me with the super heroing today! Just to note, though, you should work on using a little less force. Oh, and the cursing. Heroes can't curse, otherwise the children who idolize them will." Peter stands up, "I do have some rules, though."

Deadpool stays silent, and Spider-Man actually feels like crying.  _Please, please not the silence again. I know he can't control it but please._

"You have to do exactly as I say. I won't like, command you everytime you do something but, if I tell you to stop or to let me handle something or let me talk, you have to follow that." Spider-Man takes a step closer. "That's pretty much all I can think of. Got it?"

"Yeah, I got it." Deadpool responds bluntly, and Spider-Man nods. He deeply regrets making that comment. He gestures for Deadpool to get on him.

The crime fighting goes pretty easily. Deadpool is quiet and follows the rules and Spider-Man's to busy trying to shove down the dam of emotions in him to really comment. But he does end intentionally early and even goes to Deadpool's favorite taco place afterwards. 

Spider-Man drops the bag of greasy food by Deadpool's side, plopping down on the roof's edge as well. Deadpool looks at it, perks up, and then deflates again. He grabs a taco, and Spider-Man takes his and they sit in silence.

"Okay, what's up?" Spider-Man asks after a bite. "And don't say nothing, because you've been off all day. No, seriously. You've been weirdly quiet and  you've haven't made one comment about my butt. At all!"

"Peter," is all Deadpool says for another two bites. "He said something. I know he was just mad but, it still hurt." Spider-Man forces himself to follow. He'd fucked up. He'd fucked up and his friendship was over and now he was never going to see Wade again-

"What'd he say?" He asks, and Deadpool takes another bite.

"He said I woulda been okay buying him everything a month ago," Deadpool responds. "But- but it's not like that!"

"Like what?"

"He made it sound like I meant it badly! But he's my friend, you know? Like my bestest motherfucking friend in the world, and I just wanted to help him!" Deadpool has started making wild hand gestures already. "But I remembered once that he asked me not to buy him everything because it made him feel bad, so I tried not to! I've been trying to respect his boundaries and it's not fair that he gets to use that against me!"

Spider-Man nods, even though his heart is trying to find a corner to die in. He does understand, though. So he pushes Peter out of his brain and sits up a little straighter.

"You should tell him that," Spider-Man says, "I think you're right, and I think he knows too. And I don't think either of you want to lose a friendship over this, so talk it out. Don't leave it to fester." He doesn't realized he's demolished his taco in his hand until the remains fall out of his hand and onto the alley floor below him. Deadpool mods and stuff the rest of the taco in his mouth.

"Yeah, I should," Deadpool responds. "Mind if I leave a little early?"

"Not at all," Spider-Man replies, "I have to go right now anyway."

"Thanks."

Spider-Man swings away. He changes and gets home and he sits on the couch in a tight ball and shakes. He fucked up. This was it. This is it. He fucked it up and it's over.

Theres a knock st his front door and he leaps up, practically rumning to open it, even though its litteraly a few feethings away.. He expects to see Wade. He does not see Wade. He sees an agent.

"Um, who are you?" Peter asks, suspicious in his tone.

"I'm agent Phil Coulson, here to ask you about your relationship ship to Wade Winston Wilson, AKA Deadpool, Merc-With-A-Mouth," the agent answers.

_shit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha! Cliff hanger!
> 
> Commmennttt
> 
> Shameless self promo but my new Merc!Peter fic has its first chapter out and it's *gasp* 4,101 words! The story is called 'Aw, Sugar, You Make My Teeth Rot,' and you all should read it!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> betaed SilverNovaHeals 2018-02-10

"Oh, um, hello." Peter stammers in response. "W-who did you say I knew?"

"I think you heard me just fine, Mr. Parker," Phil responds coolly. Peter blinks, letting himself calm down. "Before you deny, please know we have conclusive and definitive evidence that you've known him for at least a year."

"Yeah," Peter finally lets out, and his fear seems to be shoved away and replaced with spur-of-the-moment confidence. "I know him."

"Is he threatening you?" Phil asks suddenly, "What is he doing? Do you need protection? We're ready to protect you if needed."

Peter blinks. "Um, what? Come again?"

"Is he threatening you? Do you need protection. We can-"

"No. No, of course not. Wade's my friend. He'd never threaten me." Peter waves the man off. "Nothing to worry about there. Is that all?" Peter makes to close the door.

"You do realize consorting with a dangerous man whose had over a thousand confirmed kills is highly illegal?" Phil asks, voice gaining a cool edge. Peter matches the tone of voice. "We can arrest you."

"I'm not entirely worried you'll arrest me," Peter responds evenly. "See, I have the guaranteed protection of a Wade Winston Wilson. He's working to be a hero, by the way. But I'm sure he doesn't have to hurt anyone to break me out or ruin your very pretty little organization. So I suggest you either kiss my ass and walk the fuck away, or arrest me."

"We'll be watching," Phil says somewhat ominously. Peter's eyes glint with something terrifyingly spiderlike.

"I fucking hope so, now kiss my ass and go." Peter closes the door. He let's out a breath, and suddenly the situation hits him all at once and he can't breathe. His fingers fumble with his phone and he calls Wade. It rings. Once. Twice.

"Wade?" Peter breathe's out. "Hey. I know we have some unresolved shit to which I am truly sorry I caused but I just told a SHIELD agent to kiss my ass and I don't know what to do and oh god I am going to lose my job and everything and what in the actual fuck is wrong with me and isn't this what brain to mouth filters are for and ooooh shit, oh god what have I done?" Peter's voice shakes and he finds it getting steadily harder to breathe

"Shit. Baby boy I am so close don't worry, it's fine. Breathe, okay?" Wade responds, unresolved shut forgotten.

"Yeah, yeah, breathe," Peter responds, voice strained. He let's out a little whispered "Fuck."

"It's fine," Wade soothes. And Peter just repeats that word as a chant.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck fuck, fuck."

A few minute later Wade bursts in to Peter on the ground desperately trying to breathe. Tears burning through his eyes.

"I'm sorry," is the first thing Peter says through small little gasps of breath. "I am so sorry I don't know why I'm having... this. I just- I can't stop thinking and I'm not even that worried but what if-"

Wade just tells Peter it's going to be okay. He keeps telling him to breathe and to calm down and he pulls Peter onto the couch and threads his hands through Peter's hair and plays Princess Bride.

"What happened?"

"Some agent, Phil? Coulson? He came and said he wanted to ask me about our friendship or relationship or whatever. He asked me if I was threatening you and when I said no and that you were my friend, he said it was illegal to hang out with you and that he could arrest me and then I told him to kiss my ass and that you were better and that I had your protection. Which I guess I shouldn't have said I had because I think I do but I don't know for sure and I hope I do because that is not a good bluff if I don't and-"

"Of course you have my protection," Wade responds, somewhat affronted. "You're my bestest friend to ever friend, Petey Sweetey."

"Okay," Peter sniffs. "I'm sorry. I know what I said earlier was rude and out of line and it was a shitty thing to say and I promise I won't say something like that again."

"It's fine, Petey."


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Purely Spider-Man and Deadpool for this chap!  
> This take space over like, four days? But it's about two weeks after the last chapter, so yep.  
> Major developments! Whoop!
> 
> Kudos to SilverNova, they're my beta-reader, now!
> 
>  
> 
> betaed SilverNovaHeals 2018-02-10

Spider-Man looks at the man strangely. The man can't really see his expression, but he's shifting uncomfortably and snivelling. He's not even sure why, to be honest. Neither Spider-Man nor Deadpool will torture him, they haven't even touched him.

"So, there's a drug.. thing.. going on?" Spider-Man states, and the man nods frantically.

"Yeah, yeah! Drugs bein' shipped in and..." the man goes on, and they both listen somewhat intently. Their are shipments coming in in three days and it's coming from the one dock and going to a warehouse nearby. Spider-Man commits it to memory, figuring he'll scope the place out. Alert the police, maybe? No, he'll do the drug bust himself.

"Okay. Thanks, I guess?" Spider-Man states, grabbing the man's cellphone to call the police. Deadpool is rambling about the pros and cons of drug use. Spider-Man will have to scold him for that, later. Drug abuse is definitely a big no-no in hero terms and can not even be mentioned as a good thing.

Deadpool's been pretty good with this whole hero thing, actually. He's been steadily getting better and while Spider-Man does try to be strict, he usually ends up praising the man more than scolding him. He's also been noticeably happier at home, which is a nice change.

Peter's recently managed to get a paying, actual job, too. That's a plus. He still doesn't do much with his newfound money, even though he's had at least two pay checks since the sort of promotion. (The day after SHIELD came knocking at his door he asked Tony to pay him and the man seemed genuinely surprised he wasn't already. It's been two weeks and sweet mother of everything the amount of money billionaires can pay sorta interns is fucking insane.)

He's actually been looking for new apartments, since his getting to small to fit his stuff and the steady amount of Wade's things that have been accumulating over the years. It's pretty hard, actually, since they have to meet a specific set of rules. Wade's been weird about it, since Peter told him that he was very specific about where he lived and Wade had respected that, but it seemed to reinstate that fear of over stepping boundaries Peter had thought he'd finally gotten rid of five fucking months ago. Spider-Man's thinking he should ask Deadpool on a date, since he knows only spur-of-the-moment courage is gonna get him through it.

Spider-Man hears a scream nearby. Deadpool hears it too, so they run out the warehouse. It's probably a few alleys over, so they don't bother to swing. There's a woman standing and staring into the alley, screaming in horror. Spider-Man reaches her first.

"Spider-Man!" She wails, and points into the alley. Spider-Man looks in, and his stomach does a little flip.

There's a pile of half melted and torn flesh sitting there, and his hands shake ever so slightly. He turns to the woman, saying calming words as Deadpool reaches them. He looks into the alley, and mutters a few curses. He's probably thinking of the warehouse, too.

"Miss," Spider-Man soothes, "Calm down, alright? Do you have a phone?"

"Y-yes," the woman stammers, reaching into her purse to pull out a phone. "Yes, here, here."

"Good. Call the police now, okay?" Spider-Man responds. He's trying to keep his own voice steady. It was happening again. Soon, soon he'd actually have to seen and confronted K8 again and then-

"911 operator, what's your emergency?" A calm voice responds on the first ring. The woman seems surprised but she stammers out what's happened. Spider-Man catches small words and phrases and his heart keeps sinking a little farther down.

"... melted.... spiders... must've been thousands of them!... crawled away... Spider-Man and Deadpool here... y-yes..." the woman hands him the phone with fumbling fingers, and she starts to cry again. Deadpool tries to take on the soothing role, but she just starts crying harder and his attempts.

"Yes, yeah, mmhhmm. No, I have to go. Five minutes? Okay. Yep, sure, mmhhmm." Peter hands the phone back to the woman. "The police will be here in five minutes. We have to go, but you can talk to the operator until they arrive, okay?"

"But... Spider-Man! Don't you want to know what hap-"

"I already know, miss. Look, I have to go, okay?"

".. okay. Be safe, alright? My daughter loves you, it'd be a shame to watch you die."

"Yeah, okay."

Spider-Man wraps an arm around Deadpool's waist and swings away.  They're both oddly quiet for the rest of the night.

~

Spider-Man twitches and paces from his spot on the roof, his mind replaying the warehouse and the alley. K8's back. Oh god. Oh god how was he supposed to deal with this? K8 wasn't even that bad-

No, no, no. K8 was awful and Spider-Man's stomach curled at the thought of him. He felt sick. He felt so very, very sick. He was going to puke. And vomit. And heave. He was going to be so sick. So, so, sick.

Spider-Man curled up, head between his knees. This whole hero shebang was never supposed to draw super villain attention, damn it. He was just supposed to stop robbers! Thieves! Just crooks in darned alleys that real, actual superheroes couldn't be damned enough to help. Not this, not this!

He wasn't supposed to get nightmares of the people he loved dying and how his best friend went villain. He certainly wasn't supposed to go home injured all the time because some organization or various villain decided to pick on him. He wasn't supposed to receive small gifts from his best-friend-turned-evil with small notes attached. He wasn't supposed to get stuck unable to sleep because of nightmares and night terrors.

Nothing like this was supposed to happen, damn it. He was just supposed to be a small hero. He didn't need a villain, he wasn't supposed to have one! He'd just wanted to help the small people, the little people. Damn it! He wasn't supposed to be falling like this!

Falling down and down into terror every night or even laughingly and hopelessly in love with his best friend and oh god, that's right. He was laughlessly and hopelessly in love with his best friend and said friend kept flirting back and it was making his stomach flip. Spider-Man fought to breathe.

Why, why, why? He'd never wanted this! He'd never wanted to be hopelessly in love or be the reason for so many people's deaths or anything. He'd just wanted to save people, to do something! Because no one else would and it had driven him crazy how every other night someone was raped or mugged and no superhero gave a damn because they were too busy saving the fucking world and why, why had he done this?

The sound of cursing alerts him that Deadpool is here and he finds himself filling with dread. He was in love, damn it. He needed to keep that under control, needed to shove it down and-

"Spidey, you okay?"

"I'll be better once we're in a bed,"

_fuck_

~

Spider-Man peered into the warehouse. The drugs weren't normal. They were just some weird blue liquid. He turned his head, and Deadpool looked horrified. Shit.

"Deadpool?" He whispered out, and Deadpool looked back at him. His voice came out small.

"Weapon X."

_shit._

* * *

_The fact of the matter had been simple. Deadpool was becoming a hero. And Spider-Man said he was going pretty well and it'd been and great two weeks despite the warehouse incident and the completely mixed signals Spider-Man kept giving him._

_Okay, that was a lie. He's pretty sure Spider-Man is like five seconds from fucking him senseless or asking him out on date almost every other night and it always seems ruined by a crime or something else._

_Like that stupid full alley incident with that he melted flesh and that weird woman. Or right now, what he was seeing right now. The thing making him want jump out of the hero pool and kill everything because shiiit._

**_[That's weapon X!]_ **

**[FUCK!]**

_Spider-Man places his hand on Deadpool's shoulder, and he's saying something soothing, nice. It's a very nice voice._

_They'd come back tomorrow, when their more prepared. Yeah, okay, fine. Go back to Peter. Yep, mmhhmm. Go on a date, sure._

_Fuck, a date?_

_FUCK. A DATE?_

_Deadpool turns to ask Spider-Man what he means but Spider-Man had already dropped him off somewhere to find his way home._

_Who the fuck asks someone a date like that?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thereeee ya go!
> 
> Don't worry its still slow burn af and I have at least twenty more chaps planned, so we good.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love you all. So much. Here's another chap.
> 
> betaed SilverNovaHeals 2018-02-10

Peter calls Wade after dropping him off somewhere, and informs him that he won't be home tonight because Tony has just called and needs him in. Wade, prattles on about the date and Peter says he's happy for him and it's all very nice but Peter is legitimately five seconds away from being sick so he ends the call early. But on a happy note.

His brain is not working the way it usually is. Usually, he dutifully ignores his problems and strives on. It's not doing that. It hasn't been doing that. He feels like  he might break. His mind keeps replaying the alley and the warehouse and the bomb and Wade and weapon X. He asked Wade out on a date, of which he is immensely happy. Immensely.

But, at the moment, he doesn't want to be happy. No, that's a lie. He wants to be happy, but everything else is stopping him. Peter walks into Stark Tower, which is still lit up, although significantly quieter. It is three am after all. People have sleep to catch up on.

Peter fumbles with the elevator button and eventually just asks JARVIS to take him somewhere quiet, please. JARVIS seems to know Peter is in great distress and doesn't ask questions. The elevator dings, which is faintly muted out as Peter steps out.

He's in the lab, which is empty and dark. The lights aren't on and Peter registers himself flipping on a switch and finding his desk. He sits down, and sloppy, burning tears blur his vision. His breathing comes out wrong for what must've been the hundredth time this month alone and he feels an evergrowing sense of panic.

This was not supposed to be happening, Damm it! Peter was never, never, never supposed to get this bad. He's supposed to be happy, not crying and perhaps having a minor panic attack in a lab alone because he can't deal with the shit he goes through. He's not supposed to be so scared anynore! He was never supposed to go through any of this.

He can't even be happy about the date. He's happy he's got it but knowing his luck it'll sour and he'll end up fucking it up, or someone will attack or worse, Wade won't actually like him. He's scared, he's so scared of ruining what he has and he's using Spider-Man as some cover up!

And he feels awful because he can't date Wade but not tell him his identity, but he feels more sick then he is at the thought of telling Wade. What if when Wade finds out he stops liking Peter that way? What if, to Wade, Peter is only a friend and nothing can change that and Spider-Man isn't just a friend and if he shows Wade he's actually Peter then he'll be back to friend status?

He can't deal with that, damn it! He can't! There's to much going on right now and he can't deal with that. He feels so sick, and tired, and so immeasurably sick. K8 is back and weapon X is here and he's going on a date but he's technically manipulating the person he wants to date but he doesn't want it to end and god fucking damn it! This wasn't supposed to happen.

Peter feels his breath shortening further and tears push their way through as he backs his chair up a little and leans down, head between his knees. He tries to breathe but his mind keeps circling and suddenly everything is attacking him, keeping him low and drowning under guilt and stress and fear. This was never supposed to happen.

There's Gwen and Ben and K8 and all those people he never saved and all those villains he fought and- and Harry and there's so much more and he can't deal with it. He cant. He didn't deal with it and it's all piled up and now K8 is back and Weapon X? And dear god, Wade. And MJ is back with her own fresh pile of problems and Peter is trying so hard to pretend like everything is normal and fine but everything is happening at once and he just can't take it anymore.

"Peter, breathe. Come on," comes a soothing voice. Peter wants to retort that he is breathing fine but he knows he's not so he gets caught trying to breathe in while someone counts.

It's Tony, Tony and Bruce. Peter finds his breath, mind still looping and a small sob tears it's way out of his throat. God, he is such a cry baby. Peter feels more sobs trail the first one.

"It's too much," he whispers, and another sob rips out. "It's too much. It was never supposed to-" sob "-happen like this. I just wanted to-" sob "-help. I wanted to be a-" sob "-hero. I didn't want-" Peter dissolves into tears. He can't breathe anymore. His entire body shakes and he's aware that Tony is whispering soothing words but Peter is just so far gone at that point. He's just crying and lost in this endless wave of emotions and repressed feelings and memories and he's stuck in it. He's drowning and the only boat there is and slowly drifting away and Wade is drifting away because Peter's awful and manipulative and-

Peter cries harder. He just cries, and he's aware of him getting moved but he just cries and cries until he can't stay awake and then he let's himself fall asleep, crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BA BAM ANGST.
> 
> Comments. Please.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EXTREMELY SHORT BECAUSE IT'S 1 AM AND I HAVE SHIT TO DO ON OTHER FICS RN. (Go check my Merc!Peter fic. It's called 'Aw, Sugar, You Make My Teeth Rot,"
> 
> betaed SilverNovaHeals 2018-02-10

Peter wakes up to his phone ringing rather loudly and opens his eyes to find himself in an unfamiliar room that looks vaguely Stark-esque. That is, to say, it looks high class and high tech and very much like a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist who also sidelines as a superhero designed said room to flaunt his rich status whilst also making a living space that could be livable.

In other words, the exact opposite of Peter's apartment. Peter grabs the phone, answering the call and waiting for the other person to greet.

"Petey?" Comes a worried voice, "You never came home."

"Shit, I'm really sorry Wade," Peter responds automatically. "I passed out at Stark's."

"Can I come over to bring you lunch?"

"Um," Peter responds, thinking it over. He doesn't particularly care if Wade is seen associating with him. Plus, any time with Wade is good. But, his boss might hate him? Meh, fuck Tony. Wade's better. "Sure. Oooh, you can eat lunch with me."

"Practice date!" Wade yells out, and Peter smiles even though his heart does a painful little flip. "Yeah," he says, wincing at the crack in his voice. "Practice date.'

Wade hangs up, and Peter showers and heads out of the room. To find himself in the Avengers common room. Fucking Captain America is making pancakes. Sam Wilson is there. Peter stands for a moment, stunned.

"If those pancakes aren't all-American blueberry I will lose all hope for this country," he states rather bluntly. Cap seems to freeze, horror on his features as he looks down at his batter.

"Oh, um," the Captain says articulately. Peter rolls his eyes, smiling.

"Nah, it's fine. As long as they taste good, we're good."

As it turns out, Captain America's pancakes are... well... to be honest...? Preeeeeetty good? Okay, fine. Wade's are better. He's kind of disappointed, really. But then again, maybe he's a little biased? No. No. That bit was just really disappointing.

"Is it bad?" Steve finally asks, looking sadly at Peter's expression as he chews. The avengers all look up at him, expressions saying they whole heartedly disagree.

"No!" Peter responds, face morphing into horror before he puts on an awkward smile. "I mean, I guess I just expected yours to be better than his?" Peter shrugs, eating the rest of the pancakes before heading out to the lab.

Wade's coming today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, yup, yuppie do. Comments?
> 
> Tony and Bruce are pretending like last night didn't happen because they don't know how to approach Peter.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short update again. I'm sorry.
> 
> betaed SilvernovaHeals 2018-02-10

Peter walks into the lab about five seconds before he realizes that fucking  _WADE_ who has never once wanted to associate with him at his place for work, is coming over. This immediately throws him for a loop. Wade has never, ever wanted to be seen with him anywhere near his place of employment. Mostly because he doesn't want Peter to get fired. So why?

Peter has to take a full three minutes to think about this when he realizes how obvious the answer is. The fucking SHIELD agent. Now that SHIELD knows, Wade doesn't care anymore about saving face. Plus, added bonus, Wade still sounds like he's riding the happy waves from his soon-to-come date with Spidey.

Peter then completely drops the thought and goes to work. Him, Tony, and Bruce are all working on a robot of some form. He doesn't know what it does. He doesn't really care. It's just nice to make things with other scientists.

At about eleven thirty JARVIS tries to say something about five seconds before the elevator dings rather forcefully and the elevator doors are slammed open rather unceremoniously.

"Pete Sweetey? I brought lunch!" Wade's familiar voice calls in. Peter drops everything he's holding and turns, smile lighting up his features.

"Wade! You actually came!" Peter makes grabby hands. "What'd you make?"

"Tacos," Wade responds, and Peter looks him up and down. There's something different.

"Did you... holy shit. You washed your suit? On purpose? Without me?" Peter asks, grabbing the lunch bag and pulling out a nicely wrapped and deliciously home made taco. "You know my lunch break isn't for another hour, right?"

Wade snorts, moving his head in that way that clearly means he's rolling his eyes. "Fuck the rules!"

"Mm," Peter hums in agreement. 

"You know Deadpool? What the fuck."

Peter turns towards Tony. Bruce is still completely focused on his work. ("Hello, Deadpool," Bruce mumbles, distracted.) "Yeah, he's my best friend. Oh! Shit, I should introduce you- sorry. Deadpool, Tony, Tony, Deadpool."

"I know who Tin Dickerson is, Petey Wheaty!" Deadpool says dismissively. Peter rolls his eyes.

"Dickerson?" He asks in anusement.

"Autocorrect," is all Wade responds with.

"Get him out of my tower," Tony huffs. Peter frowns.

"I can't-"

The elevator dings and Agent Coulson walks in. Peter casually flips him off ("Swoooooon," Deadpool says, hands under his chin in an over dramatic gesture.) "D'you crawl out of hell with that suit on or was that given to you by satan?"

"Mr. Parker, I thought we told you we'd be watching," Phil cool returns.

"And I told you to kiss my ass or arrest me so which are you gonna do?" Peter replies shortly, and Wade feign a dramatic gasp.

"Ooooh! Petey is this the fucker that threatned you?"

"Well, he didn't threaten per say-"

"What the fuck is going on?" Tony cuts in.

The elevator dings again. The Abengers walk in.

Peter would totally regret Wade coming if he didn't have this giant crush on him.

Still. This is a confusing mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments


	16. Chapter 16

"Yeah," Peter agreed, "What is going on? Because I was perfectly happy a few seconds ago and about to enjoy tacos from the best chef in the fucking world but Satan Suit crawled in and was all like 'I said we'd be watching you,' and then the ducking Avengers walked in. So like, what's going on?"

"Petey, was that a ramble or an explanation?" Wade asks curiously. Peter frowns.

"Bit of both."

"Okay."

"Mr. Parker," Phil begins coolly, (because for someone from hell everything about him is cold and calculated and calm and collected and dear fuck, so cool.) "Consorting with mass murderers is highly illegal. I'm here to arrest you."

"Oh!" Peter remarks brightly, and he holds his hands out. "Go ahead. Hey Wade, I'd like to place a wager."

"Ooooh, Baby Boy are you sure you can afford?"

"I give thy my hand in marriage and my virginity if I'm not out of whatever prison or jail or cell I'm in within the end of the month," Peter says confidently. He drops his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "But, I'm not a virgin so is that a deal breaker?"

"I gladly accept thy wager and place a bet of my own!" Wade states, taking the mock charade in stride. "My wager is this; I will give myself up to the authorities if I do not have you out of this dastardly cell within the end of the month without killing or traumatizing more than ten souls!" Wade looks around the room dramatically. "Would anyone else like to wager?"

"Yes!" Peter calls, taking small and carefully calculated steps towards Wade. "Does anyone else care to take wager?"

"Perhaps you, oh Captain of the land of the free?" Wade calls, pointing towards the thoroughly confused labrador- or rather, man. "Do you have a wager to place?"

Bruce, who seems to have caught himself up with the events, seems to realize what is happening. "I would like to place a wager," he says, almost shyly.

"Do you dear docter?" Peter questions, and Bruce nods.

"Well very well then, place your wager!" Wade grins.

"It's more a deal, really," Bruce confides, and he turns to Phil. "If the agent will have it?" Phil raises an eyebrow. ("Gasp! A show of emotion? How could this possibly be?" Wade says dramatically.)

"Very well," the agent relents, admittedly curious of the whole thing.

"If," Bruce begins, and casts a discreet glance at the two even Phil does not catch, "They escape and evade all SHIELD has to offer for a week, then SHIELD will drop all legal charges and accusations on both of them."

Phil considers. He considers longer. "Very well," he says, "I'll tell Fury."

"I'd like to place a wager," Steve suddenly says, because he's caught on as well. "I wager my position as Captain America, that they will evade all SHIELD has to offer for that week."

Phil seems to realize at this moment that everyone is in a loop except him. Tony catches on. "I wager this!" He calls dramatically. "Five of my Iron Man suits to the US government if they are caught before that week's end!"

Natasha catches on. "I would like to place a wager," she says lowly, "I wager a photo of me in a frilly pink dress if they are caught before the week ends."

"Just to be clear, are we saying this week? Or the next seven days?" Peter calls up. "Because I was thinkin' the next seven days? Because it's what? Friday right now? Sunday? Shit, I should check-" he reaches Wade.

Wade grins, and wraps his arm around Peter's waist. Phil realizes.

"Just for clarification, of course," Peter grins. Wade scoops Peter up, turns and throws himself out a conveniently opened window before Phil can react. Grappling hook already in place as he crashes through abother conveniently opened window on the floor below and bolts.

"I didn't get to place my wager!" Clint shouts in outrage, just as Wade drops into an elevator going conveniently downwards and conveniently malfunctioning so it goes down quicker and conceiniently ends up in the garage level where he finds a sports car conveniently full of gas and speeds away and out of the conveniently opened garage door.

Thanks for the convenience, JARVIS.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super short because I have a life rn and it needs to be properly watered and trimmed otherwise it'll die and I can't have that arm
> 
> betaed SilverNovaHeals 2018-02-10

Peter has no idea where they're going. All he knows is he's wearing new, extremely uncomfortable clothes and he had to hide his duffle bag and call everyone he knew to make sure they knew he wasn't going to be home for a week. (Aunt May had been furious he'd skipped out on their plans again.) And the clothes were supposed to be of the most comfortable fabric Wade could find but they were still too scratchy in some places and to smooth in others and he knew Wade knew he hated it. But Wade had promised where they were going was going to be great, so he kept his mouth shut.

He's currently on a motorcycle. Over the course of the past five hours they've switched so many vehicles and clothes and helmets and license plates that he couldn't keep track. His phone is destroyed somewhere, along with Wade's. His arms are wrapped tightly around Wade's waist as Wade drives.

~

It's dark when they finally reach their destination, and Peter's tired. Wade's heartbeat had calmed him so much he was actually ready to fall asleep. Wade leads him gently to a door, which he promptly kicks open. He strides in.

"Yo fuck-nuggets! Here to stay for a few days!" He calls by way of greeting. No one's awake, Peter's pretty sure.

"Wade? Where are we?" He grumbles, and he buries his face into Wade's shoulder. He's tired, and it's not like they've ever been against touchy-Feely shit. Wade chuckles, playing with his hair in that really soothing way that does not help his situation. He practically falls asleep right then and there, standing, pressed against Wade with his face buried in his shoulder.

"Want me to pick you up, Baby Boy?" Wade asks.

"The fuck do you think?" Peter responds, "I'm so tired I could literally pass out on the floor with no argument."

The feeling of Wade picking him up makes Peter's heart do a funny thing and he does off literally five seconds later.

~

Peter wakes up in a really comfortable bed, half snuggled into Wade's side. He blinks awake, somewhat confused. How had he gotten in bed? 

The fact that's he's practically being spooned by Wade provides no bother for him. They've woken up in similar situations before. Wade's very touchy and Peter doesn't mind touch, so long as it's someone he trusts so the fact of the matter is that their both completely unopposed to platonic sleep cuddling. Well, Peter is deeply in love with the ex-merc, but Wade considers it platonic. He's pretty sure. A part of him hopes he doesn't.

"Wade?" He calls questioningly, and Wade opens his eyes. Wade flicks his forehead, and Peter rolls his eyes. "Get up, get up! Tell me where we are! If I'm disappointed, you owe me shit. We drove all night to get here and you promised I'd love it."

"Fine, fine," Wade repsonds, grumbling about something or other. Peter scratches at his chest, the uncomfortable fabric of clothes making him want to burn his skin off.

"Wade?" He mumbles, "Wade these clothes burn. Really badly. Do you have any other clothes?"

Wade tosses him a faded and much to large for him gray sweater and sweats, and Peter changes quickly. The underwear fine, and the clothes are actually pretty comfortable. A little too soft, but not unbearably so. Besides, they smell like Wade. That's a plus and something he's perfectly willing to sacrifice a small bit of comfort for.

The sweats are far to large, however. Peter just opts to wear no pants. The sweater's so large it goes to his knees, and it shows a lot of his chest. Not enough to be considered terribly indecent, but enough to show that Peter has a very nice body. Peter frowns at the sheer size of the sweater.

"This is a little big on you too, isn't it?" Peter asks curiously. Wade nods.

"Yeah baby boy. I probably have better clothes but I knew you'd look adorable in that sweater so I gave you that one!" He admits. Immediately Peter decides that he is not taking off the sweater. Ever. That it was his now. 

"It's pretty comfy," Peter admits. "So, where are we?"

"Ooooh, follow me!" Wade says excitedly, grabbing at Peter'so sleeve since they feel nearly a full foot away from his hand and pulling him away.

Peter allows himself to be dragged up stairs and through seemingly endless halls before Wade finally kicks a door open. Literally. Their double doors and made of pretty wood and the X-Men are in the room and there are so many books, holy shit he's in love and wait-

"Wade!" Peter yells, "You said I'd love this!"

"You don't?" Wade asks, absolutely confused. He wilts, and Peter hurries to reassure him.

"Ordinarily I would love it, Wade! It's great, really, but-" Peter points at Wolverine. "That asshole is here and it kinda ruins it all."

"What? You're not still mad at him, are you?" Wade asks, and Peter levels him with a look. "Alright. Fine, I see why you would still be mad but it's not like it happens all the time- Okay, okay, stop with the looks! It may happen occasionally-"

"Wade," Peter says calmly, "Wade, I'm going to be brutally honest with you, alright?"

Wade nods, much like a lost but eager puppy. "Wade, I fucking hate him. It will never stop. Never. Very few things can redeem him from the utter bullshit I witnessed and I'm going to tell you, right now, that if I ever see someone treat you like that again-" Peter smiles somewhat unnervingly. "-I will end them."

"Okay Baby Boy, but you're still happy about the rest of them, right?"

"Are you kidding?" Peter asks, and he turns to the X-Men excitedly, "Dude, dude, these are the X-Men! Their fucking superheroes! Excluding Woleverine, meeting them is like, awesome!" Peter is almost jumping with joy. "Wade, Wade! I only thought I'd ever see the Avengers 'cause, like, I work with them but you are awesome and the bestest friend ever and I'm meeting the X-Men who probably have no idea who the fuck I am or why were here but Wade I met them!"

Wade beams. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know the X-Men's personalities too wlllso please help me. Please. 
> 
> Fair warning at least three or four of them are going to be assholes to Wade but don't worry they'll redeem themseleves.
> 
> Ily all and plz comment.
> 
> Seriously guys what are the X-Men's peronalities?s


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst? Sorta anti-climactic but you know what? Life is not full of drama, my dears. Ships anti-climactic.
> 
> Also I can not personality so I'm just trying really hard to avoid my predicament.
> 
> No worries, actual Plot is coming back soon!
> 
>  
> 
> betaed by Nova, today (you know the drill). Finally catching up! - Eighteen out of thirty chapters in one week!

Peter's meeting with the X-Men went about as well as one could expect.

In other words, he geeked the fuck out. He went to each and every X-Men (pointedly ignoring Wolverine, because he was going to hold that grudge till the day he died or Wolverine redeemed himself.) And let loose a flurry of fang-girly words whilst Wade snickered in the background and attempted small talk in the background.

Wade's attempt of small talk was mostly met with irritated words and dismissals, but that's how it normally was so it didn't phase him. Although a few of the X-Men tried to talk to him, Wade was simply very hard to talk to. His mind and his mouth held no filter and the amount of topic changes he made in the span of a minute was hard to catch up to and it usually ended with awkward "oh, yeah, cooool?" Or "go away"'s. Negasonic Teenage Warhead was probably the nicest, and Wade and she had a sort of playful banter.

Peter took a particularly long time getting introduced to Hank because they immediately geeked out over science, which had prompted Wade to yell.

"Now, now baby boy! Introductions now, science mcflience later!" To which Peter had responded with.

"I know but, Wade, Science!" And he'd even thrown his hands in an arc above his head for emphasis before making a  _call me_ sign to Hank and moving on to get introduced to Cyclops. Like, actual superhero X-Man Cyclops. He'd peppered him it so many questions Jean actually looked suspicious.

Which brought him to meeting the fucking Phoenix and like, holy shot this was so cool. And Jean had sort of tried not to read his mind but failed and he was pushed onto  _Charles Fucking Xavier._ Which lead to him geeking and freaking out even more. (Eventually Charles gave him this look and Peter knew that he knew he was Spider-Man and he screamed  _ZUCCHINI ZUCCHINI ZUCCHINI!_ really loudly in his head, which made Jean and Charles wince, but understand that Peter would not tolerate his secret being told.)

Which lead to him meeting fucking Magneto. (So many puns, so many. He's pretty sure that man hates him.) Which moved him onto Wolverine - who he very politely and passive agressively told him he  _really, really held strong grudges and that he would rather become that shitty horror movie than talk to the man again._ Peter knew he was probably overeating, but to be honest, _Wade_.

Eventually he made his way back to Wade and he honest to god, burst into happy tears. Wade seemed so proud of himself for making Peter happy and they sort of floated on each others happy before asking the X-Men, (declaring and demanding, really ) somewhat politely if they could stay for a day or three. (Peter never said a day or two, it was just bad luck for him).

So now Peter is in the lab with Hank, happily and excitedly chattering to him about his work with spiders. He'd tried to stick to Wade like glue, but Wade caught on and shoved him in the lab and basically told him that if he saw Peter's face at all for the next seven hours that he'd know Peter had killed Hank or something.

Peter checks the time. "Hey, so, is there like a scheduled lunch or...?"

"Oh, I'm sure lunch will be happening shortly," Hank responded, and as if on cue, lunch bells rang. Peter raised an eyebrow.

"There's lunch bells? Really? This place really is a school." He'd followed Hank like a lost puppy anyway, however, to a lunch room. It looked suspiciously like a glorified teachers lounge and he had to stifle a snicker.

It was about twenty minutes in, however, when he realized with a certain dread that Wade had not come. (He'd been waiting so he could eat with him).

"Where's Wade?" Peter asked curiously, and much to his dismay the general response was either shrug, grimace, or give him a vague direction. He sighed, standing up and walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?" One of them asked curiously.

"To find Wade, obvi," Peter had responded, "I can't eat lunch without my best friend! Who else am I going to geek and freak with?"

Peter had immediately used his sense of smell to track Wade down.

He nearly cried when he found Wade, rocking quietly in their guest room and muttering lowly. Which wasn't to bad, if it weren't for the shaky grip on a gun he was holding  _under his chin._ The safety still on, but a thumb posed to pull it down.

"Wade?" Peter called quietly, and Wade had dropped the gun instantly. "Wade, what happened?"

And he'd expected a blunt response, a direct one. A specific event that happened which trigger ed a chain reaction of intrusive thoughts. A  _this person did this_ or a  _the boxes said this_ or even a  _you did this._ He didn't, however, expect Wade's actual response.

"I dunno baby boy," Wade mumbles, "I guess I just felt like it."

Peter's struck with a wave of emotions he's never known he could feel so powerfully. For a second, he thinks he's gonna cry. Maybe hug Wade. But the words strike and circle back I'm his head.

_Just felt like it? Just felt like it?_

"Bullshit," Peter grumbles, and he finds he's actually sort of angry. Not because Wade's ruined his happiness, but because they had circled back.

Before, Wade would have come to Peter. But now, it was like they were back at where they were months ago. Wade didn't trust Peter to much and he was scared to break Peter's trust or their friendship and suddenly Peter just feels frustrated.

"That is complete bullshit!" He sort of frustratedly seethes. "You just felt like it?" He asks, and his voice raises. " _You just felt like it?_ " His voice cracks a little, which makes Wade slump in a little more.

"What happened Wade? Was it more than one thing? Don't say you just felt like it or I swear I will enact drastic measures." Peter responds, "Don't ever say you just felt like it. I am right here Wade. Before, I wouldn't have pried but Jesus fucking Christmas, Wade! I am your friend! You know this!" Peter walks over, placing himself in front of Wade. "Do you hear me? Have I made myself clear? I am your friend. I have said then and I will say it now and I will scream it from the fucking rooftops.  _I am your friend._ And if I ever see you ready to do that again, Wade, I-" Peters voice cracks. Where was he even going with this?

"I won't see you ready to do that again," he ammends, "because you, of all the people I know, have enough sense and brains and trust and love and care to know that I am here." Peter sighs, he really can't stay mad. "Wade, please tell me what happened."

"It's just a little reminder, is all," Wade grumbles. "I haven't been back here in a while, baby boy. I forgot no one else fucking likes to hear me talk."

Wade spits out the words and Peter rests his head on Wade's. "Wanna talk now? I'm all ears."

"Always," Wade grumbles. "Always wanna talk."

"I'm all ears. No, I mean it. Permanently. From now on, if you need to talk, call me. I'll listen. Need to talk? Find me. I'm here. Just don't-" Peter's voice cracks. "Don't do that again. I can't see you like that. I don't even care if I can't see you, Wade, I don't want you to do that again."

"Okay, Baby Boy," Wade breathes, and Peter doesn't relax until Wade does.

At some point they've started hugging. Peter sighs, Wade sighs.

"Ugh," Peter grumbles, sniffing. "Emotions. Ew."

"Disgusting," Wade agrees, and he looks up. Peter frowns, tugging at the mask until he can see Wade's eyes. Once he's sure, absolutely sure, Wade is better, he demands lunch.

Peter sticks to his word. Wade rambles and rants and talks and Peter listens and responds and for a few minutes, they forget they're not back at the apartment.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Weeoooh weeeooohhh weeeooohhh this is the Peter! Here to absolutely destroy anyone who hurts Wade.
> 
> No you guys, seriously. Protective Wade is great but PROTECTIVE PETER.
> 
> Also, I'd like to note that no one was being, like, absolutely awful ducks to Wade. Like a few made rude comments but this was mostly just a collection of like, people trying to get away from him because he talks to much or because he's weird or because he's a mercenary. It's just all that oiling up and the boxes bitching. That's p much it.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wtf this is just a conversation. Dialogue heavy af.
> 
> editing dialogue AAHH too much punctuation for my small mind to handle. ~Nova

"How do you do it?" Comes the question, and Peter turns his head curiously.

"Do what?" He asks, fiddling with the long sleeves. He'd gotten used to the fabric and it was sort of comfortable now.

"Talk to him!" The person responds, as if it's obvious.

"Yeah, how? He's so fucking annoying, and he talks too fast and nothing he says makes sense!" Another adds, and Peter looks up to see two of the X-Men staring at him in curiosity and a sort of hostility that wasn't directed at him.

"Um, you mean Wade?" Peter asks somewhat dumbly. "He's great."

"Who cares! How do you talk to him?" The first person insists.

"Well, my vocal chords vibrate against each other and then-"

"Answer the question!" The second one jumps in.

"Well, he's not hard to talk to!" Peter blurts out. "And he's not annoying! I guess he does change topics a lot and that makes him hard to follow occasionally but it's not hard! You say nothing he says makes sense but if you took fucking time to notice you'd see the connections, however obscure. And if you really can't and it miffs or confuses you so much, you can always ask! And the topic changes aren't that bad! It's kinda like how sometimes you start a conversation about bread and it goes to your favorite foods and then you talk about restaurants and then it goes to future jobs and then to futures in general and then you get into the concept of time and then you eventually talk about death. You know what I mean? Wade kinda bypasses that! When you talk about bread, he's trying to keep a conversation in four ways! While you're making the favorite food connection, he's already zipped to your future job. And yeah, it's kind of hard to catch up on but, like, if you really actually tried to hold a decent conversation with him, he's pretty cool! Besides, most people I know who get pissed at him for talking so much is just because they're more interested in what they have to say rather than what he has to say, so it builds good listening skills because you can never just have an answer ready! You have to listen to him before you can form a response and-" Peter cuts himself off, blinking. "Sorry, I got a little lost there. Hope that helped."

The two walk away. Peter's kind of half stunned and completely forgets to register who they are. Peter shrugs and heads back for the lab. Wade had insisted he go enjoy himself and that he was perfectly fine and Peter had left after he was truly sure Wade had been telling the truth.

~

An hour after the strange hallway encounter, Wade bursts into the lab and sits on the desk by Peter. Peter hums to show he's noticed Wade's existence, and continues with his mixing. Bruce showed him this cool trick once, and he totally wants to try it again.

"Hey Baby Boy," Wade says casually. "How ya doin?" Peter notes that Wade is not upset by something, but rather curious. And perhaps a little tentative or cautious.

"Pretty good," Peter responds honestly.

"Whatch' doin?" Wade asks, as he looks at the vial in Peter's hands curiously.

Peter starts talking science, and Wade listens quietly. He doesn't pitch in or add commentary - he knows not do that. Wade gains a little interest, and once Peter's done gives him some small tips that he thought might help, and Peter beams at him.

"That's a really good idea," Peter says, "I thought you weren't into science and stuff?"

"Pshaw! I'm totally not, baby boy, but I do have super smarts and a high school education!" Wade responds, and Peter rolls his eyes. He was right. Wade was smart. Although the things he'd just said were definitely far above high school education.

"Right," Peter says sarcastically, and Wade flicks his head lightly. Peter rubs the spot absentmindedly until Wade frets about his hair. Peter goes back to showing him some more sciencey stuff.

"Right, yes, and as I was saying-" Peter hears the sounds of Hank's footsteps as they reach the door, and several more.

"But baby boy if you add any more of that it's going to explode! But add some of that, it'll have the same effect," Wade is saying, pointing at the vials in Peter's hands and then to a nearby container of powder.

"Are you sure?" Peter asks, already setting a vial down and grabbing the powder.

"Positive! Wouldn't want your delicious ass blowing up!" Wade responds, and Peter giggles before beginning to measure up some of the powder. "Make sure to use less," Wade quickly warns.

"I know," Peter says in a calm yet endearing manner. Wade rolls his eyes.

"I know you know Baby Boy, you're all smartsy and sciencey but sometimes even you need a reminder!" Wade responds, swinging his legs. "Oooh it's your birthday in a month, isn't it?"

"Is it?" Peter asks curiously.

"Yeah! It fucking is! Holy Shit baby boy-" Wade frowns suddenly, and his voice drops down. "What- no! Of course not- we're fucking ninjas, we'd be way more sneakier than that!"

"Anyway," Peter says, pulling Wade gently from his thoughts as he puts the substance he's made in an eyedropper and turns to the spider in a cage. (Hank had like, two spiders. Bless him.) He puts a drop or two on his wrist first, just to make sure it's not harmful.

"Baby boy!" Wade scolds, "Don't do that!"

Peter's skin glows faintly and he guiltily frowns. "I know, I know!" He says, dropping a few of the substance on the spider.

The spider starts glowing and Wade gasps.

"It works!"

"Deadpool? What are you doing in lab with Peter?" A rather Russian voice asks. Wade grins large enough to be seen through his mask and slings an arm over Peter's shoulder.

"Don'tcha know? Me and baby boy are best buds!"

"Yes, but why are you in lab?"

"Petey-Tweety needed company!"

"Tweety?" Peter asks, "I am not tweety!"

"No. Definitely more into fish," Wade responds. Peter rolls his eyes.

"Actually, I think I'd rather eat a bag of sunflower seeds or something."

"See! Tweety!"

"I am not-"

"Sorry, but I think I hear a pwussy cat!"

"Ha! So you're Tweety!"

"What! No!"

"Then what was that?"

"I was mocking you!"

"Tweety mocks the cat! All the time!"

"No!" Wade yells, falling from the table in a dramatic clash as he feigns dying on the floor. "How could this be?"

Peter just snickers and leans down to flick his forehead before playing with the glowing spider. Wade proceeds to mock crawl over to Collasses's leg, and hold onto it, fake-sobbing.

"Tweety!" He yells in mock despair, "I'm a Tweety!"

"It's okay," Peter coos, "If it makes you feel better I can be a Jerry."

"Really?" Wade perks up, hopping up from his spot on the couch. "Does that mean I'm your Tom?"

"Depends," Peter responds, "Did you apologize, see the wrong of your ways? Are we friends now? Do you swear never to cause me such fear and harm ever again?"

"Yes!" Wade yells, and he dives to hug Peter's leg. "Be my friend, please!"

Peter chuckles. "I already am, remember?"

"Oh, right!"

The X-Men have sort of realized they can't slot themselves into their conversation. They are now all standing in the doorway watching this scene unfold in a sort of mute fascination.

"Hey, am I your Sylvester?" Peter asks curiously. 

"No, Sylvester sounds too romantic for you!" Wade responds. Peter smiles.

"So I'm not romantic? Or am I just not romantic for you?"

"Um, the last one?" Wade questions, before he brightens. "Spidey might be my Sylvester though!"

Peter feels a pang of sadness, but he doesn't react to it. "Ooooh, scandalous! Spider-Man? A fearsome predator?"

"I hope he's not too hung up about the date," Wade confides, "I am going to make that shit up to him I swear it!"

"I know," Peter responds, and his voice softens as he closes the spider cage. "I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love u all. Comments. Please.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope u know the next few chapters are pure self indulgence until actual plot and angst come up so enjoy this for now.
> 
> I'm serious, after this, the angst is going to flooooow  
>  ~~Nova here. ugh so much editingg~~

Peter shoos Wade away once he begins to make extremely sexual innuendo towards the X-Men. Who all seem unsure of the situation.

"Wade," Peter chides, "You are the bestest of friends, and I love you for it but-" Peter points to the door, "-Leave."

"But baby boy!" Wade whines, but does go towards the door. "I'm making food it'll be ready in an hour!"

"I'll be there!" Peter yells, and watches Wade disappear before slumping in his chair and groaning. "I am hopeless."

"-ly in love?" Rogue adds on. Peter sighs. He doesn't bother to deny it. Denying it is always harder.

"You noticed?"

"Pretty hard not to, kid," Scott responds. Peter frowns.

"I'm older than you," he grumbles. "No, seriously, I'm twenty-four."

~

Peter hums, sitting down at the table. He's back at the glorified teachers lounge, and some are milling about. He spots Wolverine and Storm sitting a table away from him, and his attention snaps away when he sees Wade come in with a plate full of food.

"What's this?" He asks, and Wade beams at him.

"This is chicken," Wade begins, and Peter takes a drumstick before Wade can finish.

"In our restaraunt," Peter begins himself, taking a bite, chewing, and swallowing before continuing, "What should we call this?"

The conversatin swims in and out and he notices Wolverine and Storm casting strange glances at them. Wade notices to, and eventually leaves on some half made excuse so they could see what they'd do.

"Hey, Peter?" Storm says, and woah her voice is still really kill, "Is Wade... threatening you? Or paying you?"

Peter frowns. "Sorry, what?"

Storm appears uncomfortable. Peter bristles, and walks away. Well now he has grudges on two X-Men.

Peter tells Wade what happened and they end up spending the rest of the day chilling in their guest room. Door shut and Wade wearing nothing but boxer shorts whilst Peter snuggles farther into the giant hoodie which smells wonderfully like Wade's.

He gets really sad when he finds out there's no Princess Bride.

He gets sadder when he realizes the couch doesn't smell right.

His sadness peaks when he realizes the fucking walls aren't soundproof.

Peter starts crying. Wade's in the shower, so he won't know till after. Peter curls up, breathing in the smell of Wade. And sobs. He's homesick, and the constant stream of noise hurts and he knows he won't be able to sleep and is already making a thousand different reasons up about why he's going to disappear mysteriously so he can go Spider-Man swinging.

Wade gets out of the shower and gravitated towards him wordlessly, pulling him into a hug and whispering soothing words. Peter cries, then he sniffles, then he apologizes.

"I'm just homesick," he grumbles, "everything's different."

"I know Baby Boy," Wade soothes, "I like your place more, too."

Peter just snuggles further, and they both just lay there, listening to their breathing and heart beats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha haha haha comments please?
> 
> I know this is really short but I have a headache so this is just the obligatory update
> 
> ~~such angst. such pain. -Nova~~


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pure self indulgence! Next chaps will be more Peter and X-Men interactions then Peter and Wade, for which I am truly sorry!
> 
>  
> 
> ~~i have burned though so many scented tealights and cups of vanilla chai tea editing this omg. -Nova~~

Peter says he's going on a walk. A lame excuse, but Wade doesn't mind all too much. Peter figures it's probably because he woke Wade up at two in the morning to tell him. But he grabs a jacket, and more warmer clothes. They scratch at his skin uncomfortably but he sucks it up. He quietly opens the bedroom door, and closes it with a soft click.

He's almost out the front door when the sound of someone clearing their throat makes him freeze. He turns cautiously, and finds what looks like a half awake Professer X and Magneto staring at him with something like disapproval and amusement. Peter figures the X-Men are either asleep or not far behind.

"Hey," He says awkwardly, hand still posed over the doorknob. "How ya' doin? Come here often?"

"It's not wise to leave at this moment," Charles states, voice holding a certain level of amusement that tells Peter everything. He feels a little mad, Charles was a dick. Peter glances at Magneto, who appears not to be on Peter's secret.

"Youre a dick," Peter mutters, somewhat subdued. He makes sure Charles knows its directed at him.

"Hm, well, Eric seems to enjoy that," Charles muses. Peter notes how completely red Eric becomes and decides Charles is his new favorite. Eric goes to stammer a response.

"Hey, Magneto? Eric? Name of the day?" Peter says finally, "I heard you wanted to be a hero."

Eric's posture gets defensive. "Well-"

"I believe in you," Peter states, "And I believe in Wade, and if anyone tells you you can't do it, tell me - I will be there in a heartbeat. Got it?"

"Oh, um, yes," Eric responds, confusion on his features. Peter grins.

"Good," he waves, "I'm Spider-Man," he whispers conspiratorially, before walking out the door.

Eric and Charles decide Peter's their new favorite. Also, that he is to be protected. Also, Wade got like fifty million points of approval in their books for bringing Peter here.

~

Peter groans, not in the mood to even be alive as he stumbles back into the mansion five hours later. He had to do that stupid Weapon X bust by himself, since Deadpool had told Peter to tell Spider-Man he couldn't come. His body aches in a way that literally makes his joints creak.

Instinctually, he goes up the stairs and to the first door on the right, forgetting he's not actually at his apartment complex. Apparently, the room owner doesn't like random guys coming into her room at seven in the morning, because she chucks something at his head and tells him to leave.

Naturally, this makes Peter realize he isn't home, so he stumbles back into his room. He doesn't bother with the whole door closing spewl, just stumbles in and flops onto the bed. Wade grumbles in his sleep and tosses a lazy arm over the man, and Peter lays there, unsleeping but mildly content.

When Wade wakes up, seven in the morning, ass Crack of dawn, he makes pancakes. Peter, who hadn't slept, follows him into the kitchen and snatches the pancakes as they're just finished being made and eats. He also demands coffee, which Wade supplies with vague amusement.

Wade doesn't question the bruise forming on the side of Peter's face - or on the other parts he can see. There aren't too many, and Peter never really gives him good answers. Wade's pretty sure Peter is either some very low form of vigilante, or in a gang. Probably how he knows Spider-Man.

Wade once thought Peter was Spider-Man, but he dismissed the idea after one night when he and Spider-Man were fighting and Spider-Man got a punch to the side, and the next day Peter didn't have one. Plus, Peter had alibis so Wade figured it was all good.

Peter and Wade talk about the restaraunt some more. Then Peter decides to walk around campus, and Wade disappears to god knows where.

~

Peter is called into Professer X's office. Warning bells ring in his head at this, but he can't find Wade anywhere whilst be dragged by Scott - Cyclops - so he's all alone as he faces the entirety of the X-Men alone. Again.

"Peter," Storm seems to begin the session, "How did you get those bruises?"

"Um," Peter begins. Real smooth, Parker. "I, um, tripped. Alot. Walking?" Peter is disappointed in himself. He really could lie better.

"Right, sure, bub," Wolverine grumbles. Peter flips him off with a glare.

"Fuck you," he responds.

"Language," Eric mutters, and Peter openly gapes at him.

"You and Cap been talking recently?" Peter asks. Eric rolls his eyes.

Eric, Charles, and Jean know exactly what is happening and Peter can see they want to say something. Peter looks around, and the other X-Men all seem very concerned.

"Where do you think I got these bruises?" Peter finally asked, genuine curiosity wandering into his voice. Something clicks.

"Well," Rogue begins.

"Wade," Peter realizes, "Oh my gods. You guys all think-" Peter makes a frustrated groan. "All of you are dumbasses! Except you three," Peter points to Jean, Charles, and Eric.

"Well you can't blame us for being concerned!" Storm argues, "Wade isn't exactly a good person-"

"Excuse you?" Peter responds, offense filling his tone. "Wade is better than most of you combined!"

"No he isn't," Scott replies, also a bit offended. Peter rolls his eyes.

"Sure, keep telling yourself that," Peter grumbles, and he crosses his arms. "Wade did not hit me."

"I'm finding that hard to believe, kid," Storm responds.

"He's not even that kind of person," Peter sighs, "He's seriously like, an actual good person. You're all just weird and can't see it."

"Sure he is," Scott says doubtfully. Hank is gone, Peter notes. Also Kurt's gone. Cool, sad, cool.

"Oh Fuck you," Peter spits out venomously. "He's more a hero then you are."

"What?" Scott angrily yells, "He kills people!"

"Not anymore!" Peter retorts, and then adds, "Not that any of you care greatly, but he hasn't killed in months. He's asked Spider-Man to help him be a hero. He once helped me through five panic attacks and two night terrors all in the same night. He fights with voices in his head. He's sweet and he loves children. He's never hurt anyone he doesn't truly believe needed to be hurt and when he does-" Peter's voice cracks at the memory, "-He hurts himself. He's literally saved me from near death twice, he cooks like, the best food ever. He's been with me when I cried and when I was happy and I've seen him tear himself apart because people like you-" Peter spits out venomously, "Can't seem to accept that trauma fucks everyone up differently!" Peter doesn't actually realize he's shaking. "He-" Peter's voice does that crack again, remembering yesterday. He shakes his head. "He'd never hurt me. He'd never, ever, hurt me. Or anyone innocent. And don't ever, ever tell me or insinuate or ask me something like this again."

Peter takes a deep breath, smiles, and turns around. "Oh, also, don't hurt him! Because I will most certainly deck you!" He gives them all a cold glare, before walking out the door

A minute later lunch starts, and he spends it with Wade. Wade doesn't notice the X-Men looking at him weird, but a few do ask to try his cooking, which is pretty cool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love you all.
> 
> Comment


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, so I have no grasp on personality. At all. So. Yeah. But this is an au so don't hate me to much?
> 
> Also the ages of the X-Men might be a little off but here's p much how I see them?
> 
> Jean and Scott - teens, 17-16 range.  
> Wolverine - 30-40's (Wade is younger, he's like 20-30's ish)  
> Storm - 27-28?  
> Jubilee - like, five, rn.  
> Rogue - 14-15.  
> Kurt and Kitty - 13-14
> 
> Mystique is not in their group rn but she's somewhere around Storm's age.
> 
> Charles and Eric are just there.
> 
> So ye. I have no idea at all about how it is canonically but this is an au so shoo. I tried.
> 
> Also I have no understanding of Rogue's power.
> 
>  
> 
> ~~As beta reader i have zero canonical knowledge of the XMen and will not attempt to fix any age mistakes. This is now canon, fight me. -Nova~~

Peter and Wade are apparently the hottest new trend or something. Because everyone stares at them now. Which is beyond irritating. Wade hates being stared at with a passion, so he's twitchy and jumpy. Peter can feel their gazes like itchy little.. itches all over him and he keeps changing clothes to find comfortable ones. (He eventually takes back the super oversized hoodie from the first night.)

But people stare. A lot. Apparently, word of Peter's small outburst has spread. Everyone must know about the miracle child and his rehabilitated merc or something.

Peter sighs, him and Wade sharing a glance as they make their way down to their room. Wade's decided to just stay there. Peter wants to wander around still and allow himself to be devoured by the questions he can feel burning in everyone's eyes. So Wade leaves Peter at the room and sets about wandering around.

He finds a pretty empty hallway and immediately hears the sound of a faint whimper. His immediate instinct, which he follows, is to find the source. There's another whimper, before it turns into muffled sobs. Peter feels concern ebbing off of him in waves.

Peter turns to see a girl, maybe fourteen, possibly fifteen, curled up and crying. She has a shock of white hair, but the rest is black. It's long and straight, and curls lightly around her shoulders. She's crying, and she's wearing a graphic t-shirt and jeans. Peter kneels down next to her.

"Hey," he says softly, "What's wrong?"

"G-Go away," The girl sniffs. "I-I'll hurt y-you too." She leans away a little bit, but keeps her head firmly buried in her arms, which rest above her knees as she curls up tighter.

"You won't hurt me," Peter reassures, "Why do you think that?"

"When I touch people," the girls sniffs, "I take their energy and memories."

"Okay," Peter responds, "Then I won't touch you for now, okay?"

The girl finally looks up, watery eyes threatening to over fill again as she nods. Peter smiles, shifting so he's sitting criss-cross apple-sauce (don't judge him, he still calls it that.) And faces her.

"So," he begins, "do you wanna tell me what happened?"

The girls shakes her head. "No."

"Alright, wanna talk about anything else?" Peter asks, and the girl seems a little shocked by this response. Perhaps expecting him to insist she talk. She sniffs again, shaking her head. "Okay, can I talk, then?"

The girl nods her head. Peter smiles, and he starts talking. It's mostly about Wade, and his other friends, though he admittedly gets sad and avoids the topic of MJ, Harry, and Gwen after a few seconds in.

And he talks about his spiders and his internship with Tony fucking Stark of all people and Bruce Fucking Banner, and how the Avengers are awesome (he even tells her the story of when he first met Cap and told him his ass was disappointing.) And he circles back to Wade and how he's trying to become a hero and he rambles about the little restaraunt they've jokingly started planning. He even talks about how much he loves Wade's smile, and about how Wade totally needs to meet Aunt May. He talks about Aunt May.

He doesn't really stop talking, and she seems much more happy to listen. Peter doesn't once pry or ask about why she's crying, and she's thankful for that.

Peter runs out of topics to talk about.

"My powers," The girls starts before Peter can keep talking. "When I touch people, I drain them of energy or I take their memories. I-I can't control it."

Peter nods. "I was playing outside with a few kids, and I thought I might have friends-" the girl's eyes water. "I forgot- I didn't mean to-"

"Hey," Peter soothes, "It's not your fault."

"I don't even know if she's okay," the girl sniffles, "I just bolted."

"That's fine," Peter responds, "You were just as scared as her."

"But-" the girl begins.

"Hey," Peter cuts her off, "These powers aren't something you chose, okay? And they're yours. You aren't expected to be completely okay with them, and your reactions to them are completely understandable, and acceptable. You reacted the way anyone would have, and it was completely okay. What's important now, is what you plan to do. You can check on her, you can walk away, you can try and control these powers. Maybe do all three. It's up to you to decide but this?" Peter gestures the air, "This situation that you accidentally helped start is not all your fault, and the way you reacted was not bad or wrong or awful at all. Okay?"

The girl nods, rubbing her eyes free of the last few tears and wiping her nose with here sleeve. "I want to go see her," she mumbles. "But I'm scared."

"I'll come with you," Peter responds. And she pushes herself up to stand and leads the way.

~

The girl, Rogue, as she calls herself, leads him to a sort of nurses office. And when she asks for her friend, their led to a girl on a bed, grumbling furiously about how she Is Totally Okay and Should Be Allowed To Leave. Her eyes light up at the sight of Rogue.

"You're okay!" She gushes, beaming at the sight of the white and black haired girl.

"I'm okay? I should be the one saying that to you!" Rogue responds. They both grin at each other. The the nurse shoos Rogue and Peter out.

Which leads to Rogue following Peter around everywhere.

Peter knocks on his rooms door. "Wade? Can I bring someone in?"

"One sec, baby boy!" There's the sound of crashing followed, by cursing, followed by a 'MOTHER FUCKER,' followed by Wade opening the door, mask slightly askew upon his head.

Rogue peers out from behind Peter, though she isn't touching him. Peter chuckles awkwardly, and gestures to her. "This is... Rogue-"

"Your name is Rogue?" Wade asks, "That's pretty fucking cool."

Rogue's eyes widen comically at the curse word. Peter wonders if she was maybe too emotional to notice how much he cursed when he was talking to her. Wade ushers her inside, and pretty soon he's making pancakes.

~

Peter left for five minutes, damn it. Five! This was not okay! He didn't even get a say in this-

Peter watches as Negasonic Teenage Warhead chats idly with Wade, and Colossus plays with a five year old who he's pretty sure is named Jubilee. Rogue, Kurt, and another girl named Kitty all chatter all way with each other. Around him, various mutants all sit scattered about his room.

"How?" Peter begins, "I was gone Five minutes- when did you even- how did you even-" Peter sighs. " _Five minutes,"_ he says desperately to himself.

Wade and Negasonic suddenly walk out of the kitchen area with plate fulls of hugs stacks of pancakes. Immediately, everyone comes to grab a plate. Wade catches sight of Peter just as Kitty literally phases through a wall and runs off to go presumably invite more people to come.

"Hey Peter Sweety! Back already?" Wade asks, and Peter just looks around the room again.

"Five minutes, Wade!" He responds, "I was gone for Five minutes! How did you even manage to get all these people?"

"My pancakes are legendary," Wade responds. Peter nods.

"Oh, okay, so is this all first time eats or?"

"Some of them are."

"This is advertisement for our restaurant."

"Obviously."

Peter sighs as a another group of mutants pushes past him, following Kitty. He's not even mad, since everyone seems to like Wade here. That's good enough, at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Commmenttts.
> 
> I forgot to add: Colossus is like, 35


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was fun to write.
> 
> Psst, I just wrote a fic with sassiest Peter yet. It's called: Where The Fuck is Weasel? You all should read it.
> 
> Lmao my shameless self promos.
> 
> ~~beta readers gonna ~~read read read~~ spontaneously combust frome awesomeness. -Nova~~

The impromptu pancake party slash therapy circle is in full swing as they all sit in malformed circle. (More a blob, really.) And talk about life and their problems. When Kitty runs in with some more people.

"You guys!" She half whispers, "the teachers found me! I think they're mad!"

"Let them be mad," Peter responds easily, "We're really not doing anything wrong."

There's some murmurs of agreement floating across the room.

"I can't touch people anymore," Rogue sniffs miserably.

"You can touch me!" A boy chimes in, "I'm made of infinite energy!" As if to demonstrate, he creates his own little ball of pure energy.

"But your memories," Rogue mumbles.

"I don't have any! I have amnesia, so if you erase something it'll be easy to re-learn!" The boy responds happily, and Rogue looks so desperate for touch, but torn.

"Hey," Peter says lightly, "If he's hurt, we're all here to to help him, okay?"

Rogue nods, and she reaches a hesitant hand to to touch the boys shoulder. There's a pregnant pause, before they both light up with smiles and scoot a around to be near each other, shoulders and arms pressed against each other as they both bounce with giddy excitement.

"Um," Kurt says, and everyone turns to look at him. He fidgets, looking around uncomfortaboy. "I..."

"Hey kid, you look fucking awesome, anyone ever tell you that?" Wade comments. Kurt looks up with wide, surprised eyes.

"I don't like the way I look," he mumbles, "People scream at me when I attend mass. They call me a demon."

"Well," Peter responds, "Are you a demon?"

"What?" Kurt responds, expression horrified. "No! I don't think so..."

"Then those people are assholes, and if you still get trouble, call me! I know tons of people, we might be able to make a mutant church or I'll just come and tell them all to shut up and that you're a great person and looks don't define you." Peter responds.

"Yeah!" Wade responds a little hesitantly, picking at his gloves, "Looks don't define you.." he mutters.

"They don't." Peter says forcefully, and Wade mumbles some other things. Peter raises an eyebrow. "Guys, I think Wade needs a group hug."

Wade has time to squeak a little "No!" Before a bunch of chilrren, Colossus, and Peter all go to squish him in a hug. Even Rogue joins in, but she makes very sure to only touch the boy and Wade (who told he he couldn't die and his brain was so fucked up losing memories wouldnt do much.)

There's some more talking, and aparrently Peter is really good at the whole Comforting, Reassuring, Impromptu Therapist thing. Plus, everyone else in the group is rather supportive, so they all are quick to defend each other and befriend one another.

Eventually, though, the opened door gets some unwelcome guests in the former of Wolverine and Storm. Immediately, the entire group scowls at them. (Peter may have accidentally grumbled some unsavory things about past events them.) But they're quickly followed by Charles and Eric, so the whole group is pretty happy.

"Peter?" Someone calls, and Peter turns his attention back to the group. "I-I- No one likes to touch me!" Kitty calls, "Because they think I'll disappear or something."

"Well," Peter responds, "I don't think you'll disappear. You're to cool. C'mere," Peter gestures her over and she sits on his lap.

"Are you sure I won't hurt you?" Rogue asks for the millionth time, and the boy just nods enthusiastically. Rogue looks doubtful.

"You don't have to do things youre uncomfortable with, Rogue." Peter says, and this satisfies Rogue, who hesitantly taps the boys hand.

There's a bit more back and forth, and soon enough Charles and Eric have joined their group therapy blog slash pancake party. They-

"Wade!" Peter yells, scandalized, "Pancakes!"

"Shit, baby boy!" Wade yells back, and he and Ngeasonic get up just as all the children, and Eric chorus a little "Language!"

"Cap would love you all," Peter responds sourly, which gets everyone laughing. Wolverine and Storm tentativly join, sitting a little off from the blob. They keep talking about random shit, eventually Peter gets known as the Therapy One and people along the blob become more comfortable telling their problems to him. Wade is also a Therapy One, since he very aggressively states that they are wonderful and that he will fight the bitches that say otherwise.

Everyone is addicted to the pancakes, which makes Wade beam. His mask has been up to his nose for a while, and no one cares. It's all very nice and happy.

"I, um, should apologize," Storm finally speaks up, "I never should have assumed.."

"It's no problem, Calm," Wade responds jovially.

"Yeah, you apologized, we're good now." Peter responds.

"I'm sorry, too?" Wolverine adds. Wade just shoots him a thumbs up.

"Forgiving but never forgetting," Peter and Wade chorus to both Wolverine and Storm.

After that, all the adults readily get involved in the therapy circle, which Charles has now added as a club. Everyone is very happy and they eat pancakes until it's time for bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Commeeennttts


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoop warning, angst:
> 
> Smol trigger warning, but rape is half mentioned in this? More like a rapist, but there is a brief mention about roaming hands and a tongue on someone's neck.
> 
> ~~i just burned myself on my Yankee candle. so betrayed. -Nova~~

Peter had decided not to go Spider-Manning and just fall asleep, since he hadn't the night before. He regrets this decision.

Now, before we go into Peter's current predicament, let us review Peter's take on dealing with trauma. It's very simple. Ignore it, don't react to it, let it build up, and then garner major issues he suppresses until the next traumatic or stressful event shows up. Very healthy, right? Sure.

Peter wakes up screaming. Every part of him is terrified, and he bolts up, screaming and crying.

"Get off!" He shrieks, ripping the blankets from him and clawing at his legs. He can still feel the Phantom of venom crawling on his legs. The skitter of K8 on his arms. The shiver of Green Goblin's could smile, and his son's similar one. He can feel Skip's roaming hands. He's choking on Carnage. Every part of him is feeling it and he screams, night terror of memories seared into his mind.

He can still feel the slick blood of Uncle Ben's hands on him. He can still see Gwen's neck, twisted wrong. He can feel the Lizard's claws. He can feel Doc Oc's arms restraining him. He chokes on another scream as a sobs fights it's way forward. He can remember the events that haven't happened yet. He remembers the way he saw Aunt May lying in a pool of her own blood. He remembers MJ's mutilated body.

Peter can still feel, still, even now that he's aware it's a dream - he can still feel the Phantom sensation of venom. It won't leave him. Not the skitters on his arm from K8, or the shiver from the green smiles. He can still feel, with complete realism, Skip's roaming hands and disgusting tongue. He can feel and see and touch and hear everything. He screams again, quietter, as he pushes his eyelids against his curled up knees, digging his fingernails into his neck as he begins to sob.

Wade barges into the room, and Peter doesnt look up. He's still trying to tell himself that it's not real and that he's awake and that none of this is happening. He let's out a small, broken cry, "Wade,"

Wade's there in an instant, pulling Peter to him and holding him. Rocking him back and forth as Peter sobs. He doesn't say anything, just cries and clutches onto the fabric of Wade's shirt. Wade whispers soothing words and he doesn't let go and Peter feels so safe and right but it's still there, in the back of his mind. The feeling of blood on his hands, the faint image of Gwen's distorted neck. The clamp of robotic arms on his limbs.

He cries a little harder, and he's aware the door to their room has burst open. He doesn't acknowledge it. Just demands Wade not to let him go and cries ugly tears, and Wade says he'll never let go and that it's okay and that Peter is okay and safe and it was just a dream but it doesnt help because  _Peter can still feel it._ and the sensations won't go away and he's acutely aware of phantom hands trailing down his body and a phantom tongue slithering down his neck and a phantom symbiote clawing up his leg and every part of him screams IT'S NOT REAL, IT'S NOT REAL, but he feels it and he just cries harder.

"I can still feel it," he blubbers, "it's not real, it's not real, it's not real," he chants, burying his head farther into Wade's neck, sobs still ripping painfully through him.

Peter cries himself back to sleep. Wade ignores the X-Men, who have barged into their room. He doesn't let Peter go. "I won't let you go," he mutters.

~

Peter wakes up from a dreamless sleep, and feels dirty. Absolutely filthy. And memories surface of the awful night terror, and he curls up a little more. Memories flashing through his head. He can guess it was triggered by the recent K8 events and then the stress of being sort of on the run.

Regardless, Peter feels dirty. He can't feel it anymore, but he can still feel the after - the residue - of those phantom sensations. He quietly peels Wade's arm off him, writes a small note saying he's going to shower, and walks into the bathroom.

The shower water is scalding hot, even for Peter, but he doesn't change it. He just scrubs his body. Over and over again until the skin is red and raw and even bleeding in some parts. Then he hops out, and he hisses in pain when he dries himself off with the towel but at least he feels clean. Then he puts on the sweater, but it burns him now, too. So he slips on the underwear and goes to find something else to steal from Wade.

Wade's making breakfast, and that's not surprising. Peter had spent two hours in the shower. Wade drops everything to walk over to Peter, concern ebbing off him in waves at the sight of him. He swears he can see steam coming off the man, and there's burns on small parts of his body, and his skin is all bright red, and he's bleeding a little from the rubbed raw section of his body. 

Wade's hands are tentative when he uses the first aid kit to make sure the burns, raw areas, and bleeding bits are clean. Peter jumps everytime he's touched, and Wade feels awful. Peter's eyes are distant, vacant. He's zoned out. Wade goes to find Peter some clothes, and he grabs the loosest pair of everything he owns.

He has another oversized sweater, which Peter seems perfectly fine wearing, and he doesn't bother with pants - Peter's legs, neck and arms were the worst in terms of damage. His arms and sides a second. Peter seems so dazed, and when he finally looks at Wade he seems so haunted.

"I could feel them," Peter whispers brokenly, "It's never been this bad before."

Peters had night terrors and nightmares in Wade's company before. They weren't entirely uncommon, after all. A once every month sort of thing. Hed known Wade for a year or so now, so it isn't like he could keep it a secret.

"It's okay Baby Boy," Wade responds, bringing Peter a plate of pancakes, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Not all of it," Peter whispers, "No- Not any of it. I don't want to think about it."

"That's okay baby boy," Wade reassures, because both know never to pry when it comes to the night terrors and nightmares. (Peters seen a fair share of Wade's, since his were a little more frequent. At least twice a month.)(Wade's had become a little less frequent as of late, which Peter found nice.) Peter hugs himself, despite the screaming, burning pain from his arms at the rough handle of it from beneath the cloth.

"He was touching me again," Peter whispers, more to himself as tears prick his eyes. "It was so bad he was in it. I though I was over him but I felt him and he was there-" Peter bites back a sob. Not only did he have to deal with K8's return, but now traumas from Skip seem to be resurfacing? There was to much shit going on!

Peter makes a frustrated screaming noise. Wade hugs him gently in sympsthy. "I know, baby boy," is all he says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who don't know, Skip, as in Skip Westcott, is a man who manipulated, and then raped Peter. P sure it's canon in the comics, but I could be wrong?


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone asked for Peter Protection Squad. This is some of it. Next chap has more.
> 
> ~~i have betaed this. done. -Nova~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I lied, Mystique is in this but like, also not? This is confusing me. Ugh.

 Peter hisses a little as the lotion comes in contact with the first raw area of his skin. Wade mumbles to him that he knows it hurts but it's gotta come on. Peter knows this already, considering he's the one that told Wade how to make the various lotions and ointments scattered around him. There's three or four, all made for specific types of burns and rashes. Peter had though he'd be healed by now, but it appears his healing factor has taken a vacation, or gone insane, judging by the several different ways his skin seems to be reacting to being burnt, so he got Wade to take him to the lab.

Currently, he's sitting on the edge of a desk with only underwear on. Wade is applying lotion to the raw patch of skin on his shoulder. Peter deals with the pain with the occasional hiss or grunt, but otherwise they're both quiet. Well, Wade's rambling but that's a given so otherwise, it's quiet.

They'd sort of broken into the lab, so Peter isn't surprised when the lab door opens to show the X-Men all geared up and ready for a fight. When they see the scene before them, they all quickly become confused. Peter waves with his unocupied arm.

"Hey, how are you doing?" Peter says cheerfully. "If you're wondering, I kinda sorta burned myself in a two hour long shower in effort to get clean, so Wade's currently applying lotions and ointments to my heavily damaged skin."

As if to emphasize this he gestures to an area on his side that looks almost like it's been sunburnt. Flakes of skin seeming to format on a rough red patch below his ribcage. Around it there are welts and next to those welts are small scratches. Most of his skin is red and irritated, but a few patches are different. Some appear sunburnt, otherso appear majorly burned. Some have welts and others are bleeding. Some of his skin has scratch marks which are self inflicted by Peter. He'd honestly thought he'd be somewhat healed by now, but his healing factor seems to just be making the burns worse so he relied on lotions and ointments for now.

His face is also rather red, and there's some major burns on the left side of his neck. The right side of his chin had a sun-burn-type, and it stretches from an inch above his chin all the way to his collar bone.

"How hot was the water?" Hank asks, mild horror evident in his voice.

"Hot as it could get. I'm pretty sure the burns have gotten worse, actually. My skin is really, really sensitive so this isn't too surprising a result." Peter'a beginning to be aware of how uncomfortable Wade is. He'd taken off his gloves because Peter had told him the material would hurt him. Wad he hadnt questioned it since he knew Peter had sensory issues. "Listen, could you leave? I'll answer all your questions later, but for now I just want to be alone with Wade."

The X-Men all make awkward goodbyes, and the lab door closes. Wade sighs in relief. "Thanks baby boy."

"No worries," Peter responds. They sit like that for almost an hour as Wade goes about treating his wounds.

"None of this will scar," Wade mumbles.

"I wouldn't mind if it did," Peter responds. "Scars don't bother me."

"I know."

~

Peter doesn't know how this happened. He'd been walking around with Wade, trying to tell the Pancake Club he was fine, when suddenly, the X-Men swooped in and took him away. He's now sitting awkwardly in front of one of them. The mutant had barged in and pulled him away. Hes now very aware of how Wade isn't by him. He's terrified, an he's realizing that Wade is pretty much the only reason why he hadn't sunk into a panic attack all day today.

"What happened last night?"

"Night terror."

"What was it about?"

"Not telling."

"You su-"

"I'm. Not. Telling."

"Okay."

Peter looks up. "C-Can you bring Wade in?"

"Why?"

"I'm uncomfortable."

"No."

Peter feels trapped. Claustrophobic. What was happening? He didn't need this interrogation right now. He can hear people yelling for outside the door,and he risks a glance up at his interrogator. He doesn't recognize the mutant at all, and their scent is off. He smells something like smoke and incense, but it's heavily masked by another scent. It's like two people's scents.

The door bursts open right around the same time Peter bursts into tears. God, he was such a fucking crybaby.

"Mystique get your blue little ass out this fucking room right now or I will _kill_ you," Wade's voice filters in. Low and dangerous.

The next voice is a woman's and when Peter looks up the man is gone. It's just a blue skinned woman with red hair and yellow eyes. Only the smoke and incense smell remains. Her scent. "Okay, okay, fine. I was just doing what the others were to scared to do-"

There's a sound. It's faint but Peter's senses are going crazy. The sound of a katana being pulled out and slicing a small nick in skin. He can even hear the faint drop of blood. Mystique's breath hitches, heart beat elevating. Peter listens to Wade's heartbeat, focusing intensely as he cries a little harder.

Mystique leaves, and Wade drops the katana and hugs Peter. Gently, wary of the tender skin, but it's a hug nonetheless. Peter quietly cries. Everything is to much. He wants to go home. He doesn't like this place anymore it's all new and stressful and he's already dealing with so much. He just wants a little bit more home, more familiarity. Wade might be a rock, but living things aren't good rocks and there's too much stress and he needs more constants.

Peter cries. He's more than homesick. He's scared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, in case u were confused.
> 
> Mystique is more a trial member of the X-Men rn. She did this whole interrogation thing because the other X-men pulled Peter aside, but didn't know how to ask him ask but everything. So, she just kinda grabbed him and pushed him into ask but room and decided that's that.
> 
> The yelling from outside the room is the X-men arguing amongst themselves before Wade and the Pancake Club burst in and push them aside. Now, Wade and Peter are alone in the room and Mystique, X-men, and the Pancake Club are all waiting outside the room for Peter and Wade to come out.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~just fyi, im beta reading this on a jailbroken first generation Kindle. such lag. such pain. -Nova~~

When Wade and Peter walk out of the room, Peter is asleep and Wade is carrying him. He does not look at anyone else, or say anything. He just very calmly, very quietly - much to quiet for the merc - sets Peter down in a chair, turns, and  _punches Mystique so hard she literally spins._ The action itself is so completely out of the blue it takes every one a moment to realize it's happened.

By the time they do, Wade is standing back, rubbing his fist with an absolutely murderous expression so completely vile that it's clearly visible through his mask. He clenches his teeth and an audible crack fills the room, more adding to it as he rolls his shoulder and cracks his knuckle.

"Now listen here," Comes the low voice. The dark one. The _dangerous_ one. Everyone is distinctly reminded of the fact that the man standing before them is _Deadpool_. That despite the outwardly rather manic-cheery demeanor, self deprivation and constant rambling, is a dangerous mercenary with the skills to level whole buildings and bring even the strongest of men to tears. "If you ever hurt Peter like that again," he growls - and it's an actual growl, to, low and throaty, a deep rumble from his throat. "I will break the promise I made and I will kill you. And I will do it slowly, and painfully, and when I'm done, hell won't be able to take you because I would have done that job for them. Is that clear?"

A nod from Mystique and Wade perks up, dangerous side once again shoved down for his usual manic cheer. Everyone is still tense. Well, except for the Pancake Club. Wade picks the still asleep Peter and walks away with him, Pancake Club following merrily at his heels.

The moment he leaves the room Xavier and Jean both turn to Mystique.

"Mystique, you do know that we can't read Wade's mind, right?" Jean ask. Mystique raises an eyebrow, rubbing abentmindly at the already forming bruise on her cheekbone. It's fractured, she's pretty sure. She nods.

"Yes, that's because his mind is too jumbled. There are too many things going on inside of it. The easiest we've ever been able to read it is when Peter  is in the room. It's considerably less jumbled, but still hard to make out," Xavier adds on.

"But that moment, he was so completely focused on what he'd do to you that I could read his mind perfectly. It was completely calm except for the complete fury he had against you," Jean continues.

"So, we advise you not to do something so honestly moronic ever again." Xavier finishes. Mystique swallows.

~

Peter wakes up from another dreamless sleep. "How long was I out?"

"Ten minutes, baby boy! No worries," Wade responds cheerily from the kitchen. Peter wanders out into the living room area and finds the Pancake Club and the X-Men all sitting around awaiting pancakes.

"Those are for me, right?" He jokes, gesturing to the large stack Wade already has made.

"No, these ones are," Wade responds. He holds out another stack and the delicious smell assaulting Peter makes him reel back and his mouth water.

"Are this strawberry blueberry pancakes with white and dark chocolate chips because I can smell it and if it is I will love you forever."

"Sure is baby boy," Wade responds.

"Wade. I could kiss you right now," Peter admits, stealing the fork and plate and mmm it's already buttered and syruped to perfection. He can feel himself falling even farther for Wade.

Wade serves everyone else, sitting especially close to Peter as they all eat. Peter bumps his shoulder good naturedly, before letting his side lean against the merc. Wade plays with his hair for a little bit. They're content.

~

It's time to leave, unfortunately. They have to go hide out somewhere else since SHIELD will have likely figured out where they were by now. Wade is outside waiting. Peter turns to say goodbye one final time.

"Goodbye," he says, and then he watches the Pancake Club all whine about how classes suck before they leave. He faces the X-Men.

"One last thing before I go," he states. His voice turning to ice. "If any of you ever hurt Wade again, I will positively fucking deck you. And if that doesn't teach the lesson, bones will be broken. And if that still doesn't teach you a lesson then I will find your dirtiest secrets and I will ruin you."

Peter doesn't wait for the response, smiling serenely as he skips out to find Wade.

"Did they plan that?" Mystique asks.

"No," Charles responds honestly.

"God, their perfect for each other." Jean grumbles.

"To bad they're stuck pining after one another," Storm comments.

"Fucking dumbasses," Eric mutters sourly.

"Eric! Language!" Charles mock gasps.

"You certainly weren't saying that last night."

"Yes, well, I suppose that's probably because I had you in my mouth."

Eric goes beet red. Everyone laughs. Outside, Peter snickers. Heart clenching painfully at their words.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take itttt 
> 
> Fair warning but life just hit the fan so I may start updating once every other day instead of once every day.
> 
>  
> 
> ~~Only three (currently published) yet to edit, whOO. -Nova~~

Peter can't sleep. Which is bad, because he needs sleep. Sleep is a veritable necessity. Sleep is needed in order for his body to sustain a somewhat healthy existence. So, why, oh why, is his body refusing to sleep?

Peter swears he is tired. He is so tired he can feel it in his bones. That past few naps and rests he's called sleep over at Xavier's School were the minutes long at the most. His body is trying rather desperately to pull him back into sleep but it won't sleep.

Peter tosses and turns, before sitting up with a sjgh. "It won't work. Guess I'll have to wait till I'm more tired," Peter grumbles.

"Sorry, baby boy," Wade says sympathetically from his spot in the drivers seat of whatever vehicle their currently driving. Probably their seventh stolen one in a three hour time span. Peter was pretty against the whole stolen cars thing until Wade assured him that he'd leave them where they could be found and in nice condition.

Peter just groans in response and crawls into the passenger seat. He turns on the radio, allowing his sorrows to be blasted away by Sweet Caroline. Wade belts out an off key version, before pulling up to a convenience store parking lot. They pop out of the vehicle, going into the convenience store and paying fully in cash before finding another car to jack.

They travel for the entire day. At one point Wade ditches the cars and demands Peter and him walk the rest of the way. It's an hours walk since they have to dodge camera and they end up at a random house in a random neighborhood Peter has never actually seen before. Wade opens the door like he owns the place, and Peter tentatively follows. He's sure Wade knows who lives here, but he really doesn't.

"Um, Wade, where are-"

"Wade! You better have some fucking cocaine, or I swear to high hell-"

"Can't say I do, ya blind old bat!"

Peter blinks. Who. The fuck? "Who. The fuck?"

"Blind AI," Wade says by way of answer.

"Oh," Peter responds, recognizing the name. He distantly recalls fond conversations about the woman. "Are you just bringing me on a road trip to show me off to all your friends? Or is this like, to prove I'm real or-  _Jesus fuck that hurt,_ " Peter yells, snatching his shin from the can that had just whacked it. His spidey-sense hadn't even given him enough of a warning! What the fuck!

"Talk too much," AI says by way of answer and that's it. Peter immediately likes her.

"She's cool," Peter stage whispers, and then continues on, "Can we just agree right now to  _never_ let her meet Aunt May? Because that's just..." Peter shivers.

"Yes," Wade stage whispers back, "Baby boy I agree whole heartedly."

"I can hear you, you know." Blind AI half-snarls and Peter warily backs his shins away from her.

~

Blind AI is nice. Peter likes her. Well, she's not nice. She's mean and awful and fucking scary as all hell but she's definitely the best of Wade's friends that Peter's met. Peters currently drinking tea, which the woman had made. Wade isn't even touching his cup, on the grounds that 'You probably poisoned it, you crazy blind bat, and I am not going through that shit again.'

To be fair, her response was, 'I didn't poison it, but if you happen to drink some glass shards I can't deny that, either.'

So now all of them are sitting in silence. Well, Wade's rambling, but that's a given. But, close enough. Peter finishes his tea.

"So," he starts awkwardly, "The house is... nice?" He cringes at how awful of a conversation starter he is.

"You got a tan?" Blind AI asks gruffly. Wade snorts, before just full on laughs. Peter hits him lightly, mild offense backing the hit.

"Hey!" He yells, "I do go outside!"

"I can count on one hand how many times you've gone outside voluntarily without needing to go to work or a grocery run in the past year, Baby Boy." Wade chuckles. Peter scoffs.

"Not true! I've gone out way more than five times!" Peter responds, but after thinking about it he realizes he doesn't - except as Spidey. Wade watches the realization and snickers again.

"You two done yet?" Blind AI snaps rather rudely, and Peter blushes. 

"Yeah," he mumbles, looking down as his ears turn pink.

"You made Petey Beaty blush!" Wade cooes.

"Wade!" Peter scolds.

"I'm going," Blind AI states, walking out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so I think I have a grasp on it but if you guys could just tell me a little bit of AI's personality and what you think her dynamic with Wade and Peter would be, that'd be really nice of you!
> 
> Comment, pleeeeaaassseee.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pure indulgent fluff because I told you that's all this would be for a little bit before *gasp* plot comes up.
> 
> ~~so nearly caught up. ahhh~~~

Peter hums, pulling the sheets out of the washer and shoving them in the dryer.

"What taking so looooooong?" Wade whines. Peter rolls his eyes.

"Maybe, if you helped, I'd be done by now," Peter suggests, deliberately making his movements slower just to irk the ex-merc. Wade snorts. A predicted reaction, and not at all surprising. The man was a fucking child. To be fair, though, they both were.

"No way in hell I'm helping that blind old bat with anything," Wade responds, but he gets up anyway and helps Peter load up three whole dryers filled with AI's accumulated laundry. Peter chuckles.

"Well, if it helps you feel any better, you're helping me." Peter responds. Wade makes a noncommittal grunt and Peter laughs, shoving, well, something? He was pretty sure it was cloth but it might not be. Regardless, he shoves it in the dryer.

Every movement hurts and his skin is on fire. He's not sure why the healing factor is fucking with him, but the last time this happened, venom was in him. Fortunately, he's absolutely certain that those thoughts are purely paranoia from the earlier night terror. Regardless, every part of his skin burns from the sweat it's beginning to ooze. Wade's sweater, which had been comfortable, is now beginning to stick to him.

The sweat, and the burnt skin is entirely Peter's fault, of course. Peter had noticed that AI's house had been in a state of complete disarray, and the fact of the matter was, that, despite Wade taking up about ninety percent of all the household chore at his home, he was a very cleanly person. Besides that fact, he was also a very, very kind person. Though his modesty and insufferable guilt complex often made him deny that.

So, Peter did all the chores and cleaned the house and forced a very begrudging Wade to help. Now, it's much, much later into the night and he's sweating and the lotions and ointments are literally being sweated off. His clothes are starting to stick and the burn he'd forced himself to get used to and tolerate is hundreds of times worse. Moving the laundry hurts. Really bad.

Noticing his discomfort, Wade pulls Peter gently away from the machine and forces him to sit down in one the crappy plastic chairs all laundromat have. "Sit down, baby boy," he grumbles.

"Alright," Peter responds. The fact that Peter had not protested immediately makes Wade sure that Peter, is most definitely not, in fact, okay. And while he had known Peter was probably upset, the fact that he had willingly agreed to take a break kind of means it's probably worse off. This was because Peter, the dear sweet summer child, was absolutely insufferable about doing his part. He has literally locked Wade out of the apartment in order to force the then-merc-but-now-ex-merc to stop doing all the chores. (Wade still does most of them, after all it's the least he could do after everything Peter, bless his beautifully large (painfully large) heart, for him. But now he knows Peter can get scary when he feels useless. And sad.)

Peter is uncomfortable just sitting there. The burns had not spared the more.... sensitive regions of his body, though they had certainly been... less. He'd inspected them, (his awkward self consciousness had been no help, thank you very much.) And found that they weren't that bad. Nothing in need of lotion or ointment, just a bright, almost red, pink which also happened to be everywhere else on his body. Wade had respected that, and Peter was glad because Wade has been known, many times, to attempt to cop a feel. (Okay, only once. Peter had been so... embarrassed? Horrified? He couldn't remember. He'd kicked the man out and banned him for a good month.)

When Wade's done loading up the final bits of AI's laundry, Peter hops up, ready to be taken away until their done. Truth be told, walking was a lot more comfortable than sitting at the moment, despite the fact that it produced sweat. His body screams at him in protest, though it's more specifically his skin doing the protesting.

"Wade," he says, "take me somewhere!"

"Nah uh, baby boy." Wade responds. Peter immediately wilts. Wade wilts sympathetically with him. "I know, baby boy, but I don't think you should be moving around so much with all those burns."

"Yeah," Peter sighs, "I know."

~

Sleep was hell. Because it did not come. Peter has tossed and turned and laid perfectly still for somewhere around two hours now. He, unfortunately, for the horrible, honestly awful, life of him, could not get to sleep. The room was to dark or the bed was uncomfortable or it was to quiet. The reasons came and went as quickly as they could, and he was uncomfortable and his skin burned with an almighty passion he didn't think even Jesus could have fucking had.

"Petey? The author last track of time that had passed in the fic, so I'm here to see if you're asleep because it's two am now."

"I can't sleep," Peter says wretchedly, sitting up. "It's the burns, or how dark it is, or how it's to quiet. There's so many things going on and I can't sleep."

"Okay, baby boy," Wade responds, creeping over the, damn, Peter was right, very dark room. He finds the bed by smashing his leg into it. "Mother _fucking Russia fucker!_ " he half shrieks into the darkness, bending his leg to grab onto it and hop on one leg madly before landing as peacefully as he could on the bed. Peter hisses in pain at the jolt against his poor, and irritatingly not healed skin. "Sorry, baby boy."

"No, it's fine." Peter responds, trying for a smile even though he knows Wade can't see it. There's a silence, and being with Wade makes Peter feel... okay. A little more, as well. Calm, he could garner. Perhaps just a tad less hurt. 

"Anything I can do to help?" Wade asks, perking up. It's full of half-faked cheer and less mania than usual. Peter bites his lip. No, although Wade did make him feel just a little bit of those things, that wasn't all of it. Besides, Wade only made him feel them a little bit, and it wasn't enough to help him sleep.

"I don't- I don't know," Peter responds, biting his lip harder as tears threaten to fill. One of his hands reaching it's way to tug frustrated at his hair, palm digging into his eye. He feels the skin burn in response, but he ignores it. He was such a fucking crybaby, it was so stupid.

"That's okay, baby boy," Wade whispers back. All at once, Peter realizes what Wade makes him feel, and he gets a small idea. It's a stupid hope, but he's somewhat sleep deprived and very, very tired, and frustrated, and on the verge of tears. The fact that just Wade's presence alone is enough to make him feel a little bit of the opposite just makes him clutch at the idea a little tighter.

"I-" Peter begins, "Could you-" He tries again, he sighs, deflating. "Forget it." Those stupid tears sting at his eyes again, and he feels the skin around them burn. Stupid, stupid, crybaby him.

"What, baby boy?" Wade responds. Peter squeezes his eyes shut.

"It's weird, and I'm not sure if it'll actually help and you can say no, but, but, I just-" Peter cuts himself off. He had to say it. It might work and even if it didn't, it might and he just wanted to sleep and dream, and not wake up to a night terror because if he kept being afraid of sleep it would never help and he knew so he just had to spit it out. "Could you... hold me?" Peter's voice is small and timid. "It's just- I just- You just- You don't have to-"

There's some shifting, and Wade's behind him. Pulling Peter back, and Peter can hear Wade's heartbeat right under his ear. He feels calm, alright. His eyes already starting to drag him down. His skin still burns, and he can feel tears making their path down his face, leaving their own burning mark but he feels-

"Safe," Peter murmers, "You make me feel safe."

He's not awake for Wade's reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha I'm buttering you up for the angst!
> 
> Comment, please!


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Peter can't catch a breeeaaaakkkk
> 
>  
> 
> ~~petey, why? -Nova~~

Peter wakes up tangled in arms, smell of Wade filling his nose as a calm and steady heartbeat fills his ears. He's immediately inclined to go back to sleep, a warm and fuzzy feeling filling his mind in a hazy calm, feeling perfectly content and safe, he was just drifting back into sleep.

He does fall asleep again, and both he and Wade wake on and off at different and varying intervals of time, dozing lightly for about maybe two or three hours. Eventually, though, they manage to wake up fully. They're still rather comfortable, however, so they really just end up shifting a little and snuggling deeper under the blankets.

They're perfectly content and rather lazy, in that mood where just after you wake where you aren't tired but also in such a heavenly perfection under the blankets you can't leave without using every last bit of your will power.

Neither are uncomfortable with being so cuddled and snuggled up against each other, as this is a common occurence. Peter doesn't have a bedroom in his apartment and has been resigned to sleep on the couch in his living room, which they both found out the hard way cannot fit a bed. Sure, it can fit Peter's desks and haphazard stacks of boxes to make artifical walls, and a wardrobe and various other things but a bed? A mattress? That strained it's limit.

Needless to say, Peter and Wade both lived there. (Although Wade only around eighty to ninety percent of the time, as he did have jobs, though not anymore.) And Peter was a very nice person, despite the denial from his part. And he absolutely refused to have his near permanent, borderline roommate, guest sleep on the floor all the time, so he'd given the couch to Wade. Which was something Wade really didn't like and it'd only lasted a few days before they both began to sleep on the floor to let the other sleep on the couch. Eventually they compromised and most nights they ended up snuggled against each other on the couch.

Which truly wasn't to different from normal, since Wade was rather touchy-Feely and Peter had no qualms against physical touch. So they weren't disturbed by their current positions, and although Peter's heart wasn't sure which way to flop, he was perfectly content in snuggling into the safe arms of the ex-merc and breathing in the wonderful scent of gunpowder, metal, and flowers which he felt so perfectly safe and home in.

And Wade certainly wasn't disturbed by it either, as he was touchy Feely and Peter didn't seem to mind. So he moved a hand to weave it through Peter's brown hair and snuggle his face a little farther into the fluffy, but not a bad tickle in your face kind, hair. Which smelled faintly of vanilla and cherry blossoms and lavender, since Peter had like three different shampoos and conditioners.

And they laid there silently and perfectly content for near an hour when Peter finally shifted a little too much and broke the spell of comfort. Both immediately felt awful. "Baby booooooy," Wade whines softly, "You broke it!"

"I know," Peter respond sympathetically, pulling himself to sit up. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Wade responds with a flippant shrug, pulling himself up as well. He pulls Peter back into his chest, and they sit there for a few more minutes.

"We should probably get up-up," Peter states, but he makes no move to follow through, instead sort of half nuzzle his face into Wade's chest.

"Yeah, we totally should."

~

When Peter finally gains enough will power to leave the bed (Wade had left already to go make food and heckle AI.) Wade has a stack of pancakes and sweet, glorious, coffee waiting for him. Peter's heart makes happy little flips and he moans in delight when he takes a bite.

"Your so good at pancakes!" Peter says, shoving some more into his mouth. Chewing, swallowing, and then continuing to speak. "At our restaurant, these will be our most loved dish!"

"Aw, thanks baby boy!"

The conversation about the restaurant went on, and AI eventually realized that she was not going to be able to insert herself into the conversation. She doesn't mind, happy to see Wade so happy - despite how honestly terrifying and downright cruel the man could be, she had a rather strange case of almost stockholm syndrome that made her rather fond of the man. In a twisted way. She would still poison in him in a heartbeat. Or hurt. Or kill. Or run from. But at least they were honest to each other about it.

"So, how'd you guys meet?" Peter asks suddenly, startling them both. They glance at each other. Peter seems to understand this. "Damn, really?"

"Um, yeah..." Wade trails off, and Peter frowns.

"Oh," he says quietly.

"Guessing you figured it out?" AI snaps, and wacks him with the cane again.

"Ow! Son of the Lord of biscuits, what the hell?" Peter yelps, clunking his shin. "I'm already burned! What more do you want from me?"

"Burned? What burns?" AI responds. There's a sudden quiet. It's almost ringing in her ears, how completely quiet it is. Peter looks away, looks down. His mind wandering. Wade gets quiet, and stares at Peter for a reaction.

"Nothing," Peter manages, "Forget I said it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love you, Peter bb. Comments?


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really short. Sry.
> 
> I have like, two new aus. One I'm currently writing and another I'm revamping.
> 
> Anyway, just setting it up for the next portion of their on-the-run trip.
> 
>  
> 
> ~~Finally up to date! ayay! If you too would like to utilise my mmuch elyed and somewhat prdantic betaingabilities, message me on here SilverNovaHeals or kn my tumblr beta-wryly.tumblr.com . -Nova~~

Wade has been sent to buy some eggs.

Peter and AI are sitting on a couch. Peter feels awkward. AI just looks serenely unhappy.

"You're good for him," she comments, "Best thing he's had in a while."

"Oh. Um, thanks?" Peter responds. "I thinks he's that for me to."

"Don't you hurt him," AI warns, and for emphasis she hits Peter's shin with the cane. Again. Peter screeches. "He won't fucking heal if you do it."

Peter clenched his fists. "I won't."

There's no more words exchanged , just a mutual understanding. Peter really likes AI. AI really likes Peter. Wade's totally suspicious when comes back.

They leave in the afternoon. More car hopping and more car jacking, three bus rides, and more cars later, they starts walking. They're in fuck-where, New York or maybe Maine. Peter doesn't really keep track.

"Where are we going."

"Priscilla's place~"

Peter remembers a very vivid conversation about 'Pricilla.'

_"Fucker with a messiah complex. Manipulative bastard he should die. From the future with clones and shit."_

This'll be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some one please give me the run down of Cable's personality. Please. I beg of you.
> 
> Comments?


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your beautiful beta-ing services, Nova!

"I thought you didn't like Priscilla," Peter states, "Or was it Cable? I think you even called him Nathan, once."

"Whatever the high-fuck you wanna call him, baby boy! Priscilla's not that bad, even after our divorce we sort of kept in touch," Wade responds with a sort of dismissive tone that means Peter will probably never get a proper explanation from the man. He shrugs internally, figuring that he'd probably figure it out soon enough.

They're in front of a warehouse of some form, which in all honesty is just so boring. Maybe it's a safe house? It's just a boring structure in a boring place with boring features. Just, well, boring. Peter frowns at it. "It's really boring."

"I know baby boy, I know," Wade responds placatingly, and proceeds to enter the building as though he owned the place. Well, he tried. The door was totally locked.

"Are we even allowed to be here?" Peter asked curiously.

"Priscilla! Honey dear, I'm home!" Wade shrieks, pounding at the door for a few brief seconds before shrugging. He responds to Peter while he kneels down to pick the lock. "Probably not, but that's never stopped me. Mother fucker these locks are old, I'm honestly disappointed, baby boy."

"Just to be clear, this Cable-Nate-Priscilla-Whatever-Guy won't shoot us on sight, right?" Peter asks, though he's not entirely worried. His spidey-sense is completely calm.

"No idea, baby boy," Wade responds easily as he turns the knob and opens the door. "Hello? Priscilla? Where the  _fuck_ are you?"

There's a sound of heavy footsteps and some metallic clinking, and when Peter looks up he sees the absolutely massive man standing before him with holy bedazzled jesus- "Holy bedazzled Jesus, Wade, he looks fucking awesome! He's got a metal arm! And his eye- Holy shit, holy fuck, it's glowing and golden!"

Peter begin to do that bouncing in excitement thing that he does, eyes shining before he suddenly stops and frowns. "Wait, but he's like, totally way taller than you. And bulkier. It just kind of... eh? I mean, dude, what the fuck. Are you on steroids? What's up with heroes and superpowerEd people being so disappointing up close. You had a vibe! A vibe! But like, next to Wade you just kinda look... eh." Peter shrugs and frowns, before brightening again. "But you still look sooooo cool!"

Wade just bursts into laughter, and Peter bounces from the toes to the heels of his feet. He looks around. And then whispers conspiratorially to Wade, who is on the floor in hysterics laughing his ass off. "Waaaade, dude, is he cool, or is he another dick?"

Wade sober up from the laughter enough to reply, "Bit of both," before absolutely dying of laughter again. Peter nods, and holds his hand out.

"I'm Peter," he greets, and taps Wade lightly with his foot. "That's Wade, but you knew him."

"Nathan," is the response, and a hand grasps his. He hisses in pain as his burns make contact.

"Shit, sorry," Peter apologizes, taking his hand back. Wade pops up immediately, concern emanating from his body language as he takes the hand lightly in his own to make sure it didn't get worse.

"What happened to you?" Is the question, and Peter bites his lip and looks away.

"Shut the fuck up, Priscilla," Wade snaps after noticing Peter's expression.

"Wade, it's fine," Peter insists, "For both things. My hands fine, and the question was totally justified."

Wade pouts. Peter sighs, before turning to Nathan? Cable? Priscilla? And giving a strained smile. "I burned myself in a really long shower."

Wade shoots a glare at the man, which clearly conveys something around the lines of  _make him uncomfortable with questions. I dare you._ Which was a pretty impressive feat considering the mask he had on. Cable raises and eyebrow. Peter appears to have missed something within the past few seconds.

"Um, Cable-Nathan-Priscilla, can we stay here? I think that was Wade's plan and I don't know if he was going to ands but..." Peter rubs the sleeves absent-mindedly. "Could we?"

Cable looks at Wade, than back at Peter. He and Wade seem to have a conversation just by intensely staring at each other and exchanging very small facial expressions.

"Yeah, you can stay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Commmeeentttt?
> 
> comments feed hungry writers.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeeey so sorry this is short. But then again, most of my chapters are short so... eh.

Cable, as it turns out, doesn't really do much. At least, that Peter has seen. He's been wandering around the warehouse/safehouse/boring living space in a constant state of perpetual  _ugh._ Cable seems to just go from one point of the place to the other, and once in a while they cross paths and exchange awkward but polite greetings. While Peter's sure the man has a _reason_ for wandering around his house in a hat in what honestly looks like the exact same manner as Peter, Peter can't pinpoint the why, and as such has deemed Cable just about as boring as the rest of the place.

He tried to ask Cable about his job once, but it was a really long explanation so Peter kind of lost interest pretty quick. Besides, his burns were acting up and he had only run into Cable that time in search for Wade. That was about an hour ago. Peter sighs, and turns into another room. It's the kitchen, and Wade's just standing there, talking to himself.

"Wade?" Peter calls, and Wade snaps his attention to Peter. After a few minutes of silence in which Wade takes time to process everything, he responds with a cheery grin.

"Hey baby boy!" Wade waves, and Peter smiles. Wade still has his mask on, which was expected.

"Hey, Wade." Peter waves back awkwardly. "Um, if it's not to much trouble, could you reapply the lotion and ointments and stuff?"

"Sure," Wade responds without skipping a best. "No trouble when it comes to you baby boy!"

Peter blinks and smiles back, but he knows something is off about Wade. "Wade? Is something wrong..."

"Nothing, baby boy!" Wade responds. But his voice is off. Everything is off.

There's red, and black, and fear.

Peter screams, eyes opening as he sits bolt upright. Wade's there in an instant, soothing him. Peter's scream dies down to sobs, and he clutches onto Wade like a lifeline. Everything was changing. He was stressed and wrong and he hated when things changed around him that he couldn't control.

Cable-Nathan-Priscilla runs in, but after looking at the situation he sort of just stands there awakwardly. Peter continues to cry, until his sobs die down to small hiccups and he burbles apologies.

"It's fine, baby boy, you aren't bothering us, _right_?" Wade gives Priscilla a glare that sends honest shivers down the man's spine. He nods.

"No trouble," he confirms. He inspects the scene more closely, and notes a few things.

1\. Wade doesn't have his mask on.

2\. Peters burns are getting worse, though they've started dying down again.

3\. Peter and Wade are most definitely in love with each other.

4\. Peter and Wade have not told each other this.

4,5. They fucking friend zoned themselves, the fools.

After a few moments of noting these things, Cable tells Peter it's okay and that he's not upset. Peter just nods and buries himself further into Wade's arms, and Wade let's him. After a few moments, it seems they've become stuck in their own chick-flick moment, so Cable leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Commmeeentttt
> 
> ~~this one was fun to beta. who am i kidding, they all are. - Nova~~


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone talked about this in a comment and it has inspired me.
> 
> ~~not really with it today, sorry if any typos escape my clutches. -Nova~~

*smol flashback music*

Phil sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes in the typical gesture of deep seated disappointment. The Avengers in the room resumed their usual activities, and Clint continued to complain about how he _totally had a fucking wager_ and _it wasn't fair!_

Deciding he didn't want to scold the Avengers and thus get thrown into some Civil War or something, he makes his way back to SHIELD, which is sort of an hour-long trip but he's always been a patient person. He makes his way to find Fury, who would likely give him absolute hell for this.

~

As expected, he got hell for this. Absolute hell. Fury really lived up to his name, though Phil sort of suspected the shortage of coffee recently was to blame for how completely infuriated the man had become. Although, all of them were a little more easy to completely and utterly infuriate with the shortage of coffee, so he thought maybe Fury really was that mad.

Regardless, Fury had agreed to the terms of the strange deal. He'd also set Phil on toilet cleaning duty and put Hill to the task of finding Deadpool. Phil thought the whole situation was stupid, since he knew Deadpool better, but neither seemed to care.

Phil sighed, scrubbing at the toilet seat again.

 

*end flashback scene music.*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments?


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haven't done a Wade's POV in a while! Whoop! This doesn't have to much development, just a recap of everything that's happened in Wade's POV. I swear, in a few chapters, plot will come backkkk but this trip is important for specific events that will unfold so meh.
> 
> I hope you're doing better, Nova!

_Peter is Wade's best friend. More than that, really. Almost family, practically dating. (But Wade's trying to date Spider-Man.) He likes Spider-Man, maybe even loves, in a minor way. But he feels more strongly towards Peter._

_But Peter's his friend, and Peter is never going to hold Wade to anything more than that. Wade's okay with that, because Peter is one of the better people in his life, and he's got Spider-Man to love, now. And damn, does Spider-Man have a good ass._

**_mmmmm, that ass._ **

**The things we could to them...**

_**we could have a wicked threesome!** _

**Gasp! You think they'd be into that?**

_it might even be better than Peter's, if he's honest, but that's probably just because he's only ever seen Spidey's ass in spandex and da-mn is that a heavenly sight to behold! Wolf whistles here._

_Anyway, he loves Peter. But Peter's just a friend, and he's sort of falling for Spider-Man, who's kind of becoming something more than a friend. If he can make up for that date he's missed._

_When Peter and he go on the run, he figures he'll hide out at Xavier's for a bit, then go to a safehouse. But after Xavier's, he runs to AI's instead, to see if maybe she approved of Peter the way the X-Men did._

_Being at Xavier's had been somewhat eye-opening, honestly. Being forcefully reminded that Peter is really one of the only people who can tolerate him was an awful thing, and Peter finding him so close to blowing his brains out made him feel horrendously guilty._

_The look in Peter's eyes had been awful._

_The night terror, and subsequent shower had been awful to see, and Peter stepping out burnt and drained had made his skin crawl towards the man and wrap him up in hugs. But every touch burned him, and Wade had to settle for comforting him in every other way possible._

_He'd liked the Pancake Club too. And the restaurant joke they've had going on. Though it'd probably never be a real thing._

_When Peter gets to AI's, that's when he notices. The burns kept getting worse and then better, depending on Peter's mood and mentality. It'd been subtle at first, but got easier to notice as time went on._

_So Wade made the logical assumption. Psychosomatic burns. (because clearly, everyone knows enough psychology to make that diagnosis. not just Wade being annoyingly smart.)_

_Peter hadn't noticed yet, and Wade didn't want to tell him till he could come up with an option. He knew Priscilla had noticed, though. They'd figure it out. He wouldn't let Peter keep getting hurt. That wasn't an option._

_Wade pulls Peter a little closer._

_He'd help him. Whatever it took._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments?
> 
>  
> 
> ~~please comments ^_^ ?? ~~


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaay here you go. Thanks again, Nova, for your lovely help! 
> 
> Shits happening!

Peter wakes up to the sound of Wade whimpering quietly in his sleep. It's been so long since he's seen Wade have a nightmare, he's momentarily thrown. His first instinct is to hug the man, but he's pretty sure waking him up is a better option.

Tentatively, Peter shakes Wade's shoulder. They'd split apart whilst sleeping. Wade wakes up with a sharp gasp, and his hands immediately lunge at Peter. Peter's spidey-sense zings up his spine but he doesn't move. Wade's hands wrapping around his throat doesn't scare him, he knows this would happen.

"Wade," he murmurs, "It's me."

The hands drop away quickly, and Peter rubs at his throat. His burns are still there, (what the actual fuck, healing factor?) And he knows Wade is probably curling up. In a ball. It's too dark to actually tell, though. "Sorry, baby boy." Wade murmurs back, and Peter turns to hug the giant Wade-ball. (Which is far to large for his spindly arms to encompass, so he kind of ends up flopping on top of Wade's curled up form and hugging him.)

"'S fine," Peter mumbles sleepily, and Wade uncurls just enough to where Peter falls into his arms. The snuggle up, and then Peter passes out. Wade passes out, to.

When they wake up, they stay curled up in each other's arms. "Wade, wanna talk about it?" Peter mumbles, burying his face farther into Wade's collar bone.

"Just the normal stuff, Petey, Weapon X and all that shit," Wade grumbles back, pulling Peter closer. Peter's burns feel like they're finally healing, because they don't hurt too much right now.

There's a knock at their door. "Come in!" They both shout at the same time, sleepy and way to comfortable to be bothered to move. The door opens, and Cable (Priscilla(Nate)) walks in. He raises an eyebrow at the sight.

"You two look comfortable."

"Fuck off," Wade grumbles at much the same time Peter goes "Damn straight." Which leads to a lot of snickering from the two because they're immature and it sounds like Peter was calling Nate a damn straight.

"Right," is Cable's dry reply. "Wade, I need to talk to you."

Wade sighs and groans, bitches and moans, complains and whines, and then finally untangles himself from Peter's arms, careful of the burns (Which get slightly worse, though Peter doesn't really notice.). Peter groans loudly and goes "Nooooooooo."

"Gotta share me, baby boy," Wade responds cheerily.

"We're talking about it later," Peter grumbles back, and they both know it's about Wade's nightmare. (Because Peter is healthy about everyone's mentality and trauma issues except his own.)

"I know," Wade responds.

Wade follows Nate out the door, and Peter lazes around in bed for another hour before finally mustering enough willpower to get out of the bed. He lazily wanders out of the room and towards where he can smell the absolutely heavenly scent of Wade's pancakes.

Wade snickers at the sight of bleary eyed, only very slightly burned, messy haired Peter wandering into the room like a zombie and hands him a stack of pancakes. Peter sits down and digs in, and Wade makes him coffee.

A few minutes later, Cable walks in and gets served pancakes. It's all very content. Peter feels pretty nice, and he's pretty sure his healing factors finally kicking in.

* * *

_Cable pulls Wade into a different room, and they both state that Peter has psychosomatic burns. They're both unsurprised the other figured it out, and they both decide the next course of action is to make Peter's burns go away._

_First plan of action, is to make them go away by making Peter happy and content until they go away. It's working pretty well. Wade had a nightmare last night, but they've never bothered him too much ever since he's been in living with Peter (ish, it's not official.) And honestly, he's pretty sure even Peter knows that. He still feels shitty for trying to strangle Peter, though. But Peter understands, so it's okay._

* * *

At around three, Peter starts to notice. Wade and Cable are being really, really nice. Like, freaky. Creepy nice. His immediate thought is K8, and he starts to panic. The burns begin acting up as well, and both Wade and Cable seem to notice his distress.

"Something wrong?" Wade asks, and Peter bites his lip.

"You guys are acting weird," Peter responds cautiously. There's a moment of silence.

"It's because of the burns," Wade finally responds, "We think they might be psychosomatic."

"We've been trying to get them to go away by being really nice," Cable continues on to explain.

Peter promptly freaks the fuck out, and predictably, his burns become worse. Wade and Cable try to calm him down, but now that he knows they're psychosomatic, all he wants to do his calm down, but what if they never go away? Which leads him spiraling down a black hole from hell (well, space,) about how absolutely awfully this is going to fuck up.

What if it doesn't heal when he gets home? Will he have to Spider-Man like this? What if the Avengers get the wrong idea and hate Wade? What if Wade gets sick of dealing with Peter and leaves? What if, what if, what if?

His skin burns and now that he knows why it's happening, it only makes him feel worse. He starts to hyperventilate, and Wade grabs his (burning) wrists and tells him to breathe. It takes a little bit, but he does. Then he cries, and the salty tears hurt. Everything hurts. Now he knows why. Fuck, fuck. Fuckity McFuck. Shit in a dingle. Son of an everloving cunt biscuit.

Peter wonders if he's overreacting, but the thought is destroyed by another wave of repeated what ifs. Two hours later, Peter finally calms down. He asks Cable if he has a lab, and then disappears into it.

Wade, promptly, freaks the fuck out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment. Please. I beg of you. Please.


	36. NOT AN UPDATE AND I'M SORRY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NOT AN UPDATE AND I'M SORRY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOT AN UPDATE AND I'M SORRY

Hello, it's Roan Oaks here! First off, if it hasn't been clear enough: NOT AN UPDATE AND I'M SORRY.

I'm putting this fic, and my other fic, Where The Fuck Is Weasel? On hold. Pause.

THEY ARE NOT, I REPEAT, NOT BEING ABANDONED.

If anyone comments saying this I will honestly call them out in the next update.

Here are the reasons why I'm putting this fic on hold:

This fic is getting away from me, and it's becoming stressful. First of all, this isn't you're fault. I've been trying to update every other day because I felt really pressured to update this daily, and it didn't work. Even when I said I would update a little less I still felt pressured to update daily. Again, NOT YOUR FAULT. No one has told me to update daily, no one has told me to update more, nor pressured me to - this is just me feeling guilty for not updating often enough despite updating daily.

Furthermore, the plot is getting away from me. The on-the-run portion has taken longer than I expected and I added the psychosomatic burns, which, admittedly, was not a plot point I had planned. This, plus the updating daily thing has made me stressed and I can't write. This break is purely for doing a little replanning and nothing more.

I am sorry to do this, but I promise this fic will be back on in like, a month at the most, a week at the least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY


	37. NOT AN UPDATE AGAIN AND IM SORRY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NOT AN UPDATE AGAIN AND IM SORRY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOT AN UPDATE AGAIN AND IM SORRY

NOT AN UPDATE AGAIN AND IM SORRY-NOT AN UPDATE AGAIN AND IM SORRY-NOT AN UPDATE AGAIN AND IM SORRY-NOT AN UPDATE AGAIN AND IM SORRY-NOT AN UPDATE AGAIN AND IM SORRY-NOT AN UPDATE AGAIN AND IM SORRY-NOT AN UPDATE AGAIN AND IM SORRY-NOT AN UPDATE AGAIN AND IM SORRY-

 

Okay, this is not an update again, and I'm sorry.

 

First things first, I'm continuing this veeerrrrryyyyy soon. I just need to edit one or two things on the timeline and then I'm back on fucking track.

 

Second, still not ready to continue WTF is Weasel, since that's just a mine field I have not managed to properly disarm.

 

Important things to note about the continuation:

I will not have a set updating schedule. I will try to do once every week, and will probably do more. I would like to eventually get back to daily updates, but whether I can remains uncertain.

 

Important things to note about the fic:

I'm not changing nor spoiling anything, just giving you a little-whats-to-come-sneak-peak

 

Hell.

No, I' just kidding. Mostly Peter dealing with trauma and Wade dealing with it, eventually finding out who K8 is (I feel like the hype I've sort of built up on that is going to leave you all sorely disappointing when you find out who it is)((HINT: Not a very well known villain??))

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOT AN UPDATE AGAIN AND IM SORRY


	38. FINALLY AN UPDATE, ISN'T THAT NICE? Chapter 38, by the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I proof read on the same day it updated! WIN FOR NOVA!

It takes a few hours of Peter being in the lab before Wade is freaking out, because he's only ever seen Peter disappear into science like this once before and that lasted days. Honest, actual, days. Like, Peter just sat in the corner of his living room, surrounded by makeshift box-walls, and did nothing but science. Until his fingertips _bled_. 

Cable doesn't really know how to calm down, freaking-out-about-Peter's-general-health-Wade, but he tries. Doesn't do much, but heeeey, A for effort.

Thankfully, Peter comes out a few hours after a few hours and though the burns don't look cured, he is significantly calmer. Wade is very relieved, and Cable wonders why the fuck this had to happen at his safehouse, which he really hadn't intended to stay in for that long.

"I'm fine," Peter says, the moment he sees Wade, "Just had to check some things and do some other things. I don't think I can cure this, so I'll just have to live with it."

His burns are worse then when he entered, but they appear to be calming rapidly.

The next few days nothing much happens, Cable leaves and Peter and Wade laze around, not really doing much.

~  
When Peter and Wade arrive home, eight days later (They'd stayed away an extra day just to be sure (They'd actually just forgotten they had to go home but shhhhh)) SHIELD isn't there, Peter's phone has a hundred and seventy-eight messages and calls, and life resumes. Mainly, they do the same thing they've been doing and laze around for the rest of the day. Peter's burns are near nonexistent in his contentedness. Stark called and said he had another day off since the tower was bombed or something. (Again, though no one was hurt so it was really just Stark being Really Fucking Nice Again.)

The next day, is when Peter retakes his Spider-Manning habits, and that's really when shit starts to retake a downward tilt. Well, more like a drop. Like, it was going good and he was walking and then the fucking ground under him disappeared. It went to shit.  _Shit in a motherfucking dingle._

~Minor Flashback that Isn't really A Flashback If we're Being honest because it's like five minutes behind Present tenseeeeee~

Spider-Man's back slams into the wall behind him, head knocking back against the wall with enough force to make him see more stars a second later. He makes a half groan as his burns continue acting up and his body begins with his usual aches. He had forgotten to arrange a meet up with Deadpool, and he was sorely regretting it.

As if cued by some godly, miraculous, thank the fucking gods and everything to ever exist, the moment the thought comes up, he hears a deliciously familiar manic voice. Without  thinking, he grins (Which is bloody and entirely visible since he'd lifted the mask over his nose at some point because of the excess amount of blood in his mouth.). "Deadpool? Is that you?"

"Damn right, baby boy, and how's that delicious ass been since I left it?"  
  
"Shit, if I'm being honest. 'Bout to get a lot better with you though, isn't it?"

"Def-in-ite-ly!" Deadpool cracks a punch, and the guy that literally just bashed Spider-Man's admittedly, probably, a little lacking, brains in. "In more ways than one!"

"Take a spider on a date first!" Spider-Man responds, shoving his mask down with the sudden realization that his burns were probably noticeable.


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, weirdly enough, the last chap was SUPPOSED TO BE LONGER. but I guess the last few paragraphs didn't save when I posted it?? ;(. Anyways, now I get to rewrite it and that super cool cliffhanger I wrote can't be a cliffhanger anymoreeee. Sigh, that's okay though because Peter's life is still gonna go to shit in the chapters to comeee.

Spider-Man and Deadpool are ready to say goodbye after patrol when a shrill scream cuts through the air. They both wilt and sigh, but run (or swing) in the direction.

The sight makes Spider-Man's stomach drop. There, on the alley floor, is a pile of flesh, and beside it, a man babbling through tears about spiders and his wife. Deadpool arrives a minute later, and he curses. Spider-Man's hands shake, his ears start to ring. He'd almost forgotten that K8 was still alive, still around. Deadpool's saying something to him, but his vision's kind of tunnelly and he can barely hear it over the dull ring in his ear and pulsing thump of his heartbeat.

Deadpool calls the police, and tugs Spider-Man away. Spider-Man barely notices and just lets his body move. So much shit is happening, and with the burns, this just tops the cake.

"Deadpool?" Spider-Man's voice shakes. "Do you have a place to stay? Not Peter's. I don't want to bother him, but I think I just need to-"

"Yeah, Spidey, I got a place."

Spider-Man lets himself be lead away. Dully, he realizes that he didn't even know Deadpool had a place in NY. He'd just assumed he didn't since he was always staying at his place. The realization makes his heart do weird things.

The feeling of a couch under him and the smell that is unmistakably Deadpool's brings him back to his senses. Mostly. He looks around, and the place looks like Deadpool's only been in it once or twice. He sneezes at the dust, and he can vaguely hear Deadpool preen about how cute his sneeze is. Spider-Man blushes.

"Shut up!" He grumbles, rubbing at his nose through the mask. Which, ew, he totally regrets that. "Gimme a tissue."

"Here ya go, Spidey-Whitey!" Deadpool responds, tossing a tissue box at Spider-Man. He catches it, swiping a tissue and lifting his mask up to wipe at his nose. His burns worsen considerably, and he pulls his mask back down before Deadpool could properly notice them. He hums, quietly, a tune he remembers from a while ago. Back when Ben was alive.

"Petey-Sweety hums that too," Deadpool notes, and Spider-Man feels a rush of worry. He shoves it aside.

"Yeah, I picked it up from him," He fake-admits, the lie tasting gross on his tongue. "By the way, you're totally making up for that date."

"Right, right, of course, Spidey-Tighty!" Deadpool responds, nodding his head to emphasize his agreedness. "What'd'ya say t' tomorrow, seven o' clock at that one place, the ummmmm, the uh, the--"

"What about Kup Cafe?" Spider-Man cuts in, remembering it's delicious pastries and the fact that he and Wade had been there frequently.

"Yeah, that sounds pretty fucking great," Deadpool responds, and Spider-Man looks around.

"Can I stay over tonight?" He questions, and Deadpool contemplates it.

"Yeah, sure," He responds. "Just lemme tell Petey."

Deadpool shoots Peter a quick text, and Spider-Man thanks his lucky fucking stars that he left his phone at home. He looks around again. "Where's the bedroom?"

"It's down there, I can sleep on the couch if you want-"

"No, it's fine, c'mon." Spider-Man gently grabs Deadpool's hand, leading him lightly to the direction Deadpool had gestured towards. He opens the door, and pulls Deadpool towards the bed, which he flops on, and assumes the  _paint me like on of your french girls_ pose. "Come to bed, deary~"

"Damn it, Spidey!" Deadpool whines, flopping over. Spider-Man giggles, and there's some rustling as they settle together in the bed, Spider-Man's arm wrapped somewhat loosely around Deadpool's waist and digging his head into the back of the ex-merc's neck.

A few seconds later, and he's pretty sure he's never had a more sound sleep.


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late!

Spider-Man wakes up and immediately regrets sleeping in his suit. It's sweaty and gross and what wasn't already skin tight is now clinging to his skin in a disgusting way. The sweaty, clinging spandex irritates his burns and he leans away from the source of comforting warmth. Blearily lifting his head, he remembers last night and very quietly removes his arms from Deadpool. Hoping that he wasn't late for his first day back at work, he leaves Deadpool a note, climbs out the window, and swings back to the alleyway he'd left his duffel bag in before.

Thankfully, it's still there, and he quickly changes into the oversized hoodie from Wade that he'd ultimately decided he was never giving back, and some sweatpants of his own. Gratefully, he does have glasses and hearing aids in there, so he slips them on and makes his way to Stark Tower. He likes the walk, since it's a little nicer out and he doesn't wanna head home just to leave again.

He's somewhat nervoud about returning, since he doesn't know how the Avenger's will react to his burns, and he doesn't want them to blame Wade, since it was most certainly not Wade's fault. Humming a tune, he makes his way into the tower and to the elevator.

"Hey JARVIS?" He calls as soon as the doors close. "Can you tell Tony and Bruce not to freak out?"

_"Over the burns, Mr. Parker?"_

"Yeah, but can you not mention them?"

_"Of course, Mr. Parker."_

"Thanks,  JARVIS," Peter replies, and the elevator dings to announce his arrival. Hiding a little farther and self consciously into his hoodie (He loved it even if it was a little uncomfortable against his skin. It smelled just like Wade, and it was comforting) he takes a step in. Tony and Bruce both turn to him curiously, and immediately don expressions of concern when they see his skin. Peter can  _feel_ it getting worse with every passing second.

"Um, I have pyschosomatic burns, now..." Peter says quietly, and he feels horrible. "Me and Wade aren't sure how it happened but I think it's just my mutation acting up because of some recent events triggering... well, me." He finishes lamely.

There's a bit of silence, before Tony is telling him to let Bruce check him out and he's being gently led and pushed to sit down. Peter isn't sure why they're being so soft and gently until he feels the stinging tears on the burns on his cheeks. He isn't sure why he's crying, either, but for some reason he just feels  _wrong._ Peter sniffs as Bruce runs some tests and Tony calls the Avengers in.

"Oh, shit," Peter suddenly hisses, realization smashing into him like a tidal wave and making his burns spike (Along with the machines scanning him to make sure he's healthy enough) "Fuck, I have a date with Wade as Spider-Man and he can't see my burns!"

Peter feels panic sinking in.

"I have you covered, though I really don't like the idea of you and Deadpool... together," Tony responds, holding up a weird plastic... paper? "Put this on your face and you'll look normal."

Peter takes it and lays it over his face, a bit confused before Tony shows him a mirror and he stares at his reflection in amazement. He looks... not burned!

"Holy fuck-cakes!" Peter says, and Tony raises an eyebrow at him.

"Anyways, wanna spill about those...  _recent events_?" Tony asks, and Peter cringes, before nodding.

So he tells Tony everything. And Bruce, and the Avengers, and JARVIS to since he can hear everything in the room.

Tells them about how K8 broke out with the bombing, and how it kinda triggered his night terrors and nightmares to come back, and how his mutations keeps fucking with his brain because of the night terrors and nightmares. He tells them about K8 before, and who he is and why he's there.

He tells them about Wade, to, becasue he's been pretty supportive and nice, but mostly it's K8. 

The room is silent, before Tony lets out a long, deep, sigh.

"Anyway to track this... K8?" Tony finally asks, and Peter contemplates.

"I don't think so?"

"Well, come on, let's go figure it out."

And with that, Peter hops off the chair to follow Tony to a computer so they can work on tracking K8.

Huh, weird, how a support system actually helps,  _Peter._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> K8's identity will be revealed soon, also *Passive aggressive comment about Dealing With Trauma and Getting A Support System, Peter*


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just watched infinite war and I'm writing this to forget my pain.

Arriving at the roof of a certain cafe at seven, Spider-Man is incredibly happy. He and Tony hadn't figured out a way to track K8, but they had made steps to recapture the villain, coming up with a far better container then Spider-Man had made by himself. Plus, he was going on a _date_ with  _Deadpool._ Just about  _nothing_ could ruin this (And if something did, it would certainly fucking regret it.).

Deadpool walks to the sidewalk in front of the cafe a minute later, and Spider-Man waves from the roof before pushing himself off the roof. Pulling the mask up to his nose he gives Deadpool a grin, which makes Deadpool lift his own mask (fairly hesitantly, Spider-Man notes) and grins himself. "Hey Spidey!"

"Deadpool,"Spider-Man greets, tone of voice happy and giddy. He's bouncing on the balls of his feet like a hyperactive software developer, and Deadpool smiles, holding an arm out jokingly. "Shall we?"

Spider-Man takes the arm, still grinning like a fool as he walks into the cafe with Deadpool. They order something, taking a seat at a table, both thinking the date was going swimmingly.

Abort date! Abort! Abort! The alarm bells in both heads ring as they realize, an hour in, that they have done nothing but increasingly more awkward small talk. Deadpool keeps fiddling with his mask self consciously, and Spider-Man keeps picking at his food awkwardly, not really hungry.

It wasn't that they didn't want the date and more that they didn't really know how to date. Deadpool's relationships never really seemed to last and neither did Spider-Man's, so as far as they were concerned they were both trying. And failing, mostly, but neither really blamed the other.

Deciding to bite the bullet, Spider-Man sighs. "This is kind of awkward but I like it."

Deadpool nods. "Yeah, it's like ordering burritos and realizing you already had five and can't eat all the extras."

"Like the dates are really unnecessary, you know? Like we could just start dating and it'd be cool?"

"I agree baby boy, let's just skip the whole date thing."

"Also we decided on a cafe."

"Next time we'll do red lobster or some other fancy shit."

"Sounds good"

And just like that, the awkwardness dissipates, and they dissolve into their usually flirtatious banter and small talk.

The night's pretty nice, although Spider-Man doesn't miss how Deadpool avoids touching Spider-Man at all costs, and Deadpool doesn't miss how Spider-Man barely eats his food.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There, I'm sorry the update was so ficking late life is hectic as hell. Also sorry it's short.


	42. Oh god I'm sooo sorry but...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *whispers in tears* I'm sorry, please don't hate me

Hello my wonderful fans.

 

We are, officially, going on semi-hiatus.

 

I am NOT saying complete hiatus.

 

More like once-a-month update hiatus, if that

 

Because life has been ducking with me and I have major writers block

 

HOWEVER

 

I DON'T HAVE ART BLOCK

 

SO REQUEST SOME FANART MY DUDES

 

I WILL LINK A TUMBLR PAGE SHORTLY.

 

LOBE YOU, AND I'M SORRY,

 

-RO


	43. Update. (Not a chapter)

Bad news: my life has hit a very nice point of Rockity ducking bottom 

Highlights include.

Going to a mental hospital

No that's it really

I just got out of a mental hospital

Life's a great big mess rn but

 

Goodnews: not only will I eventually post the fanart requests I am also updating veeeerrrryyyyy soon.

 

Love u all bai


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank all of u supportive followers and commenters! Here's the next chapter, I know it's been a long wait and I hope u guys are happy with it! :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heckling heck, I love u all

Spiderman's been on three dates with Deadpool and they've gone great.

Well, they did. Until the fourth date where it started to get  _awkward._ There were a couple reasons why, but they were all pretty much the same thing.

Insecurities.

Deadpool has avoided even  _touching_ Spider-Man over the past couple weeks, and Spider-Man would have said it's all Deadpool's fault - if he hadn't just realized that he barely spoke because he was scared he would slip up.

So, Spider-Man decided he was going to change this.

"Deadpool, wait up!" Spider-Man calls, running over to the ex-merc-who-still-had-a-mouth.

"Baby boy why are you being so slow?" Deadpool asks, and Spider-Man- no, Peter, can't really help but feel a little jealous. Baby boy used to be his nickname and now it was Spider-Man's!

Which was nonsense, because they were the  _same gosh darn person,_ but it didn't change how he felt about it! Besides, Deadpool didn't know they were the same person!

Spider-man pointed at his Web slingers. "Low on fuel, Pool. Gotta save it for the battles and apprehending of criminals."

Deadpool nodded. "Oh, damn baby boy! Why didn't you same something, I always pack an extra cannister for you."

Spider-man blinked behind the mask. _That bastard. That adorable fucking bastard. What the fuck._ "You did? How did you even know how to make it?"

"You told me once, I don't think you thought I remembered it, but baby boy I never forget a thing you say!"

Another twinge of pain. _you said the exact same thing to me you fucking- God damn it stop being jealous of yourself!_

Peter shook his head to clear the thoughts. "Thanks, deadsweet." He held out his hand, but Deadpool stared at it.

"Did you just- Holy fuck balls you gave me a nickname! Chimi-fucking-changas, baby! You are the apple of my heart!" Deadpool put the cannister in his hand, and Spider-Man seized the opportunity to grab Deadpool's hand and pull him close.

"That's not how the saying goes," he murmured into Deadpool's ear, and he could literally  _feel_ Deadpool's breath hitch. He never really thought he could make the ex-merc-with-a-mouth speechless.

Deadpool laughed a little awkwardly.

No.

No, Spider-Man- no,  _Peter_ knew that laugh. The quit one. The hesitant one.

Deadpool was-

He was  _scared._

The shock of it made him freeze, and Deadpool took a step back. The loss of contact almost made Spider-Man want to whine. Damn spider instincts.

What was Deadpool scared of? Spider-Man racked his mind. Wade hadn't told Peter anything and Deadpool's never mentioned it to Spider-Man. And while Peter knew that Wade was afraid to fuck it up with Spider-Man, that didn't really include when Spider-Man fucking started the contact.

No, Deadpool- Wade- both? One? They were the same person, who cares- always made it clear. It was his words. He was afraid of what he would say.

Sometimes the skin would come up but that wasn't as big an issue.

So why? Why the fear.

Spider-Man put the Web canisters in his Web slingers, following after Deadpool before taking the lead. He let instincts take control, his thoughts buzzing like a million insects.

He felt it before he really saw it, a disgusting squish under his boot, seeping through the thin fabric and into his skin.

He lifted his foot up on instinct, but he forgot to take off the stickiness factor so it clung to him.

Peter registered the smell.

He looked down.

Flesh. A pile of flesh.

Peter found the world turned black startlingly quickly when he wasn't paying attention.


	45. Chapter 45

Spider-Man woke up with a ringing headache. Groaning something that made him sound a bit like Frankenstein's monster, he sat up. Digging his knuckle into his temples in hope that it would quell the pain, knowing full well that it wouldn't, he looked around. 

"Pool?" Spider-Man called, because it seemed he was back at Deadpool's safe house (he thanked the stars for his mask, because it was the only thing keeping his eyes in tact. Though his ears and nose were having a fucking field day with sensory overload and it made him a little nauseous).

"Spidey, baby! You woke up! I was beginning to get a little fucking worried there!" Deadpool called, walling in from another room. Spider-Man made one of those little guilty half laughs.

"Uh, yeah, sorry about that.."

"It's no problem Baby Boy. You okay? I can order emergency tacos if you need."

"Ah, no, um.." Spider-Man checked the time. He had two hours before work started. He decided to call in sick. "Can I stay here for the day? With you?"

"Of course Baby Boy, just lemme text Petey Sweety."

"Alright, well, um, I'm going to use your bathroom, if that's okay?"

"Sure, it's-"

"I know where it is, I can smell it." Spider-Man cut in, because his ears were ringing from the amount of audio input and he just needed quiet for a second. "Thank you, though."

"Um, right.." Deadpool sounded sad, and Spider-Man felt immediately guilty as he made his way to the bathroom.

Making sure his phone was on silent, he texted Tony (he had his private number now) that he wasn't showing up for work today. Then he texted Deadpool back (because he and Wade both had very quick response times) saying he was cool and he hoped to see him tomorrow.

Digging through the settings in his suit, he found the hearing mufflers and scent blockers. Immediately, the sensory overload began to fade and he put on the weird thing that made it look like his burns were gone.

The burns themselves were being rather irritating, actually, with the whole Deadpool fear and the K8 shit, they had picked up on his stress and misery and seemed to have made it their mission to increase it.

Walking out the bathroom, he could see Deadpool chilling on the couch with his arms on the back. Deciding to seize the opportunity, Spider-Man quickly sat on the couch and nestled into Deadpool's side. Deadpool's heart sped up, but he didn't comment and instead simply move his arm from the back of the couch to around Spider-Man's shoulders.

Deadpool turned on Golden girls.


	46. Chapter 46

The day had gone very nicely, and Peter's burns felt like nothing more then a dull sting if anything at all. He yawned, nestling a littler further into Deadpool's side.

"Spidey, I think maybe we should not do patrol tonight.." Deadpool said into the air. It was the first either have them had spoken since they sat down on the couch to watch random shit on adult swim about ten hours ago.

Spider-Man contemplated. Deadpool was right, honestly, but he would feel guilty if something happened.

"No, I can go.. I don't want something bad to happen because I didn't patrol," Spider-Man responded, and there was a quiet as Spider-Man felt a bit of a draft come in. He half climbed onto Deadpool's lap to escape the small and sudden chill.

Deadpool's heart rate quickened, and Spider-Man damn near hesitated. He didn't, further cuddling into Deadpool's chest. "Is this okay?" He whispered.

Deadpool's voice came out an octave higher. "Yeah.."

Tentatively, arms wrapped around his shoulders. Deadpool moved them so they were laying on their sides. "Stay the night again, we can do patrol tomorrow. Call up one of your superhero fuck buddys to take it up for you tonight."

Spider-Man wanted to say no. He really did. But he sighed in defeat, surrendering to the warmth. "Fine.."

Spider-Man shot a quick test to Iron Man, a simple 'patrol for me tonight? :)'.

Iron Mam responded with a 'first you skip work now this? Honestly, interns these days. Yeah, fine.'

Spider-Man snuggled further into Deadpool's chest. Taking in his scent. "I love your smell..." he murmered.

Deadpool stiffened slightly. Spider-Man knew that reaction.  _Fear._ Pain tore through him emotionally and he bit back a spidery-instinct based whimper.

"Thanks, Baby Boy."

Spider-Man curled into Deadpool further, taking in the scent and the very being of the man he rather loved. Swallowing a lump in his throat he fought passed his own sadness.

"No problem, Sweety-Pool."

"Gasp! Another nickname? Swoon!"

They chuckled, before allowing themselves to fall asleep again.


	47. Chapter 47

Spider-Man woke up at the crack of dawn and left a half asleep Deadpool with a quick goodbye before swinging out the window and heading to his home. He had a couple hours before he had to go to work so he figured a shower would help soothe his frayed nerves.

The past month or two had really fucked him over and today he thought he would simply allow himself to calm down and get lost in work like he used to. Perhaps later he would confront this whole fear thing going on with Deadpool as well.

Arriving at home, he quickly stripped off his suit and collapsed it back into the spider drone, tucking it into his work duffel bag as he jumped into the shower. His burns still weren't to bad so while he didn't stay in the shower for to long, it was not an overall painful experience.

Hopping out and drying himself off, he slipping on his contact and hearing aids. He grabbed a couple strawberries and other fruits and berries from the usual fruit basket left on his counter before getting fully dressed and heading out to Stark Tower.

He didn't bother with the bike, with the grips he kept forgetting to change and his burns, he just didn't want to deal with it. Walking in a couple minutes later then he usually did wasn't that bad considering he was usually early anyway.

Heading up to the lab he greeted Tony and Bruce and set himself to work, getting lost in the science and letting himself forget about his stress for a little bit.

His phone buzzed, taking him out of science zone as he checked it to find a picture from MJ. MJ had flown back to LA again apparently. Peter frowned at the sight.

His friends had been sparse in contact after college. Ned had disappeared to god knows where, saying he'd only be gone 6 months. He'd been gone two years but he sent the occasional vague post card, so while Peter was worried he tried not to think about it to much.

Harry, of course, had gone full green goblin before up and vanishing for the next five years. Peter hadn't heard from him since last year when he got a bottle of wine and a postcard. He drank it with MJ and they reminisced, but that was probably the most time they'd hung out since.

He and MJ had been a thing through out college but MJ had constantly pressured him to quit Spider-Man and even, at one point, college, so the relationship was always doomed to fail. Nevertheless, Peter had still proposed to her at the end of college.

MJ had rejected him, and skipped town the next day, leaving Peter heartbroken  and without closure. The next contact she got was sixth months later. He'd received a post card saying she was in LA and three months pregnant.

She'd been staying there for near three years with her boyfriend whom Peter had never met nor particularly planned to meet and her now five year old daughter. She had come to stay for a year last year, and that was the most he'd seen of her in that time span.

She had just gotten home from a flight last week. Peter felt a pang of sadness at the text, remembering his friends back when they were closer and not just distant aquintances. He missed them.

Noticing it was lunch time, he texted Wade to see if he was home, but all he got back was a voice message saying he wanted to sleep longer so Peter went up to the Avenger's lounge with Tony and Bruce and ate lunch there.

When he arrived home, he found that Wade had migrated to his living room at some point and was now watching the usual viewing of Princess Bride that they had grown accustomed to on the tv.

Wade greeted him with his usual grin and Peter had the impulse to kiss him, wich he barely held back.

A couple hours of sitting on the couch and watching Princess Bride with Wade later, Wade left to go patrol and Peter followed soon after.


End file.
